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Original poster

Sick leave and stress

14 replies

Ciderwine · 30/05/2020 09:12

I am off on sick leave from work with work related stress for the last number of months. Work have been in touch informally on and off via text for the last while. I had 2 virtual meetings this week to discuss return to work related issues . They now want a meeting in person or via zoom every 2 weeks. I didn't sleep and cried for the week proceeding the meeting and 2 days on after finding it hard to sleep. The meeting itself was ok but the lead up to it and afterwards has set me back. I explained all this but need to comply with their rule book. It's counterproductive talking about the main reason I am ill in the first place.

OP posts:

Landlubber2019 · 30/05/2020 09:20

Do you have a medical cert confirming you are unfit for work? What is the point of these zoom meetings? I

What is the rulebook to which you refer? Are hr involved and do you have a union to assist?

flowery · 30/05/2020 09:25

If it’s counterproductive talking about the reason you are ill, how will it ever get resolved?

What would you like to happen?

devildeepbluesea · 30/05/2020 09:31

Agree with flowery, based on what you've written your employers seem to be being very reasonable with you. You can't expect them to (a) let you remain off sick indefinitely with no contact or (b) let you return to work and leave you to crack on with no reviews, rtw interview or ongoing 121s.

DinghyCalledDignity · 30/05/2020 09:58

I don't think what they're asking is unreasonable.

Earnsomething · 30/05/2020 10:01

Yes, I agree with PPs. You need to engage if you want them to help resolve your stress. How else are you expecting this to end?

Original poster

Ciderwine · 30/05/2020 10:56

To be fair I haven't given the complete story as worried I would be iden8. My stress isn't work related only and they know this. I can't see myself being able for these meetings long term. I am not well enough to work anywhere right now and can't afford to leave. I just need space and time to get better. I was being bullied and there isn't much they can do apparently.

OP posts:

Tatty101 · 30/05/2020 11:00

Are you still being paid? How long have you been off? I think it would be very irresponsible of an employer to just send your pay each month and not check in on how you're doing and what they can do to help you back into work - surely that's your ultimate aim and you don't want to be off sick forever?

Being off sick for a long time can also trigger capability hearings in mine and in every workplace I've ever had so that might be something to keep in mind.

blue25 · 30/05/2020 11:00

They sound reasonable. You can’t just be left alone, while still being paid indefinitely. Surely you see that? You have to engage with them on some level or else leave the job.

stayclosetoyourself · 30/05/2020 11:01

It's a matter then of seeing what your options are- if you don't comply will you be n m are redundant or do you wish to resign?
Or do you need a sick note to say you are too unwell fir meetings for x number of days/ weeks?

DinghyCalledDignity · 30/05/2020 11:02

What would be your ideal? I think it's unreasonable after being off for months for you to just want them to not have contact and not discuss why you've been off and what might be needed to facilitate you going back.

flowery · 30/05/2020 11:24

”I can't see myself being able for these meetings long term.”

If you’re not going to be even fit for a meeting in the long term your employment doesn’t sound sustainable tbh.

”I am not well enough to work anywhere right now and can't afford to leave.”

I assume that means you are still being paid, after months off. Is this a contractual entitlement or discretionary, or is it just SSP. How long do you anticipate continuing to be paid?

”I just need space and time to get better. I was being bullied and there isn't much they can do apparently.”

Well they should be able to do something about the bullying, but obviously they can’t do anything about the external factors.

If you don’t anticipate being fit to work for a long time, and can’t or won’t engage in any attempts to get you back to work, what is it you think your employer should do?

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/05/2020 12:02

Have you had involvement from occupational health? Do you expect to be able to return to work and if so do you know how your employer can support you?

Original poster

Ciderwine · 30/05/2020 14:04

Thanks for all of you taking the time to reply. I am going to leave this here and take on board any advice I have been given. I am medically certified off sick with stress and anxiety. I am on ssp for a number of months. I have working all my life and now find myself unable for work. I had no issues with work contacting me but I don't see much changing in 2 weeks. I am not the first person to be out from stress and won't be the last. If the aim is to get me to return to work sooner by having frequent meetings unfortunately it is having the opposite effect. I am only giving the bare bones so it was unfair to you. This has helped clear up some confusion. I didn't expect no contact that is unrealistic.

OP posts:

stayclosetoyourself · 30/05/2020 14:16

I do think it's difficult when it's a mental health issue - they should get able to provide the least anxiety provoking compromise.
Have you been offered psychological help ?
As you know avoidance makes anxiety worse in the longer run, but if you are traumatised the meetings will be highly anxiety provoking or retraumatising until you do proper psychological work.
Good luck op

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