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Thoughts please

13 replies

DracunculusVulgaris · 25/05/2020 15:01

Good afternoon - just seeking a few thoughts on this situation please as my mind is in a spin!

Have namechanged for this as it could potentially be very identifying and I really do not want it linked to any of my previous threads or posts. It may also be long, since I wish to give all relevant information in one go.

I work in 'private service' as a gardener on a residential estate and have been in this post since September 2019 when I moved back to my native region of the UK, after 30 years in another region. This was the only position I was able to find, despite months of searching, and I absolutely hate it, for many and various reasons;

My employer, despite being exceptionally wealthy, is miserly to the extreme - all the equipment is old, forever breaking down, not serviced regularly and all the hand tools are worn out, blunt and not fit for purpose! The heater in our tea room ( not on currently, of course) is on a timer and we are permitted 5 minutes of heat for our ten minute morning tea break and 15 minutes of heat for our half hour lunch break. We also have to supply and pay for our own PPE - you get the picture! He is also very controlling and a bully - there are security cameras trained on the door of our tea room to spy on our comings and goings and, I suspect, covert cameras and microphones as well. When he wants to gain my attention he will whistle as though he is calling a dog! I never know whether to bark, wag my tail or roll over to have my tummy tickled! My usual response is to feign deafness until he uses the normal courtesy of using my name!

In addition to the long hours, 07.30 - 17.00, with the aforesaid short morning tea break and half hour for lunch, it is intensely physical, very little actual real craft gardening and I have a 3 hour, 80 mile round trip each day to get there and back, 20% of my net salary goes in fuel costs alone!

The estate is physically very beautiful, but the environment is totally toxic, dysfunctional and is giving me a great deal of mental anxiety, as well as the physical exhaustion of such long days, including travelling time. I was furloughed, but have been back for two weeks now, and am so miserable, exhausted mentally and physically by it, have a knot in my stomach every day at the thought of going in and am within a whisker of just walking out and never looking back, especially after another incident of bullying last week. It does not help that my two colleagues are still both furloughed, so I am trying carry the workload of three people!

This is a catalogue of woes isn't it?!! I think what I am doing is talking myself into just quitting and seeking validation, from others, for doing so! I have never just walked out of a post before, I don't normally simply give up, but I am concerned for my health at the moment, and trying to convince myself that my wellbeing must take priority. In previous employment I have always felt a strong sense of 'ownership' toward the gardens I have worked in, and loyalty to my employers, who, without exception have been a delight to work for and with. Not here - I would happily leave without a second thought. Unfortunately, finding a new post in this region is not easy, particularly in the current circumstances. Making myself voluntarily unemployed seems a very drastic step. What would you do? Tough it out until something better comes along or quit to protect your mental and physical health?

For context:
I own my house outright - so no rent or mortgage to pay.
I have 2 lodgers which brings in £800 gross a month - less, obviously, after increased council tax and utilities.
I am not eligible for Universal Credit as I have savings over the threshold.
I am ten years away from normal retirement age.
My lifestyle is fairly simple and my needs few.
My car is very old, but paid for.
I have no debts or loans to service.

Thank you for reading and any thoughts or comments would be most welcome

OP posts:
iklboo · 25/05/2020 15:06

I'd quit for my mental health in your situation. Then maybe look for another job after I'd recovered. Probably do a big poo in his lawn as well Grin (not really but the fantasy would cheer me up).

Finfintytint · 25/05/2020 15:11

I’d leave. Something will come up again. Go self employed and set your own terms and conditions.

Fifthtimelucky · 25/05/2020 15:38

I'd leave too, and find something nearer. It might not be easy to find a single full time job, but there are lots of people who can use a gardener a couple of hours a week.

Campervan69 · 25/05/2020 15:40

Leave definitely. Life is too short for such misery.

DracunculusVulgaris · 25/05/2020 15:49

@iklboo - yes, the thought of leaving a giant turd in the middle of one of the lawns is very appealing - it could always be blamed on the badgers, of which there are many around!

I have been looking, without success, for an alternative position since the end of my first week! I very quickly developed a feel for the toxicity of the place, endorsed by the fact that my employers have got through two housekeepers and three grooms in the nine months that I have been there. And several gardenèrs, in quick succession, before me - says it all really...

I am a head gardener really, or used to be, but, since my employer is too mean to pay a head gardener's salary, I am designated simply as a 'gardener' with a commensurate lower salary. I do not mean that in a pejorative way towards other gardeners, by the way, lest anyone think I am being elitist. This was only meant to be a stepping stone to find employment following my move back to my region of birth - but the expanse of water to the next step seems gargantuan at the moment!

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 25/05/2020 15:54

I’d leave and set up as self employed. My parents struggled to find a good gardener and the one they had just stopped coming. If you pick the right area to target I’m sure you can build up work. It might be slow to start but your situation means you have some leeway.

DracunculusVulgaris · 25/05/2020 15:56

@Finfintytint, @Fifthtimelucky and @Campervan69, thank you for your thoughts.

I have considered self employment, but am nervous about the large capital investment required for an appropriate vehicle, trailer and equipment required. However, I am giving it thought again.

Ideally, a single full time role nearer home, but, given my personal circumstances, I could get by on part time employment and that, too, is an option to which I am giving serious thought.

OP posts:
StayAlert · 25/05/2020 16:08

100% leave.

Life is too short to be unhappy, have some time out to chill and then start looking for other jobs or go self employed- massive demand for gardeners at the moment in our area at least!

DracunculusVulgaris · 25/05/2020 21:30

@StayAlert, thank you. I feel pathetic, but there are many occasions, driving home, that I find myself in tears - frustration and relief that I have managed to survive another day! No job should make one feel this way and it is a new, and sobering, experience for me.

OP posts:
VodselForDinner · 25/05/2020 21:41

Leave. It’s not worth it.

My parents use a self-employed gardener. He has all of his own tools, trailer, does all the buying, had a full crew who come and go as needed. He’s expensive but they’re happy to pay it, plus their gardens aren’t manageable for them.

Oh the other hand, I think there’s a huge market for a “garden handy(wo)man” service (if you’ll forgive the phrasing).

I’d love someone with more knowledge than me to come over weekly/monthly on an hourly rate, use my lawnmower, tools etc and just get my garden looking consistently nice without me having to take on the expense and commitment of a full time gardener with huge overheads. It’ll never be like a stately home, but would love to pay for a step-up from my own very limited ability. Someone to build and tend a rockery, re-trellis my sweet peas kind of a thing.
I’d love someone to move a small Japanese maple for me because I’m terrified I’ll kill it!

If you lived somewhere with a decent central population, it might tide you over?

Also, I think we’re likely to see uncertainty in the housing market. When that happens, people who want to move but can’t/won’t often spend more making do with that they have and renovating kitchens, gardens etc.

Learntoloveyourself · 25/05/2020 21:45

I’d leave immediately and set up on my own as a self employed gardener. £15-20 per hour. Set your own hours and no boss! Win win.

DracunculusVulgaris · 25/05/2020 22:17

Thank you all - the overwhelming consensus is that I should, as my own instincts tell me, jump ship immediately and without regret or guilt!

I apologise for the rant and for offloading here, there is nobody in real life with whom I can discuss this. Thank you🌹

OP posts:
Celeriacacaca · 25/05/2020 23:16

Go for it! My friend is a self employed gardener and doesn't have a huge array of tools etc. She gets £22 per hour, south east, and loves it. She was in marketing before but hated it and jumped ship around 5 years ago. No particular gardening knowledge when she started but knows a lot more now and she is a grafter and reliable. She has more requests to work than she can manage.

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