I don’t want to return to work :(

[Mh16c]

Hi all,

I was due to return in June from my maternity, however due to the coronavirus I work in a pharmaceutical company and they are desperate for my return. I started yesterday again and just feel such mum guilt for leaving my little 10mo boy. I don’t want to go back full time but my husband has been furloughed and I’m not sure his work will return which means I will be our sole income. I just feel so sad and don’t know where to turn or what to do. I know by going back im helping with this crazy virus and feel it’s my duty but I also just wish I didn’t have to leave my son so early.. does it get easier or does anyone have any ideas that mean I can stay home more :)

I went back full-time when DS was 5 months for money reasons. It does get easier, you just kind of get on with it, although I did miss him dreadfully for a long while.
Well done for going back.

You're doing something to fight this vitus - when your son is older he'll be proud of his mum for that. If your son is with his daddy that's a fantastic opportunity for them to spend time together that they wouldn't have got otherwise and not being in nursery or at a childminder will be easier for him if he's not with you all the time

Fight this virus even!

It does get easier, especially when they hit the terrible twos - I couldn’t wait to go to work then

I found it hard for a good 6 weeks, but you do get used to it. And one of the best thing a is how adorably happy they are to see you when you get home!

Just be glad that you had ten months with him and that you are part of the National effort. Maternity leave is much more generous now. I worked the day I came home from hospital with both children. my second child was a csection born on Wednesday and I discharged my self on Saturday as I had work to do. Ten months maternity???

What an incredibly helpful post @clairethewitch70

@clairethewitch70 good for you. Not everyone has/ wants to return to work so quickly. I'm on maternity from the NHS with my 5 month old and I won't be returning until he's a year old. Bonding and development are crucial at this stage and I want to bring him up myself. OP I don't blame you for feeling like that and it's completely up to you whether or not you want to go back permanently now or wait for the full 12 months. I can't imagine leaving mine for such long shifts atm and dread it.

I went back when DD was 4.5 months because that's all the mat leave there was (I took an unpaid month to extend that too).

It's tough, but children are resilient, and you still get to see them lots and enjoy them growing up.

Thank you for all such lovely comments, it’s just such a hard transition period. Things are so hard for women now.. to get that balance of working mum life down. Hopefully as the days go by I’ll get more used to it again :) thank you all :)