Boss keeps taking over my work, and it's annoying the shit out of me.

[CloudsCanLookLikeSheep]

I work in a professional, advisory capacity. I have an aligned internal client group to whom I provide advice.

Often I'll provide the advice, or be dealing with an issue and if my boss has been cc'd or gets wind of it she'll then respond to the query (most are on email) without checking if I've already responded or sometimes even after I've responded and she'd been cc'd on the reply so is aware.

Am I normal to find this extremely frustrating and stressful. And patronising, as after I've already dealt with an issue she'll advise and then say 'Clouds can you action this'.

It undermines me and makes me feel stupid. I've tried to gently broach it but was told 'sometimes our advice will cross, you have to get over it and move on' and 'sometimes I will jump in, nothing wrong with that'.

I'm trying to 'train' all my clients to come to me first and only email her if they want to escalate, but sometimes they forget or if they're dealing with an issue she has initiated (but I am advising on) such as a project, they think they should email us both.

I'm at my wits end. I was looking to leave, but blasted coronavirus put paid to that for now.

Anything I can do other than grin and bear it?

Do you copy her in on your replies?

I would find it really frustrating, too.

Usually not as it gives her more ammunition to muscle in.

But there have been times when she's been cc'd or knows I'm dealing with it and still jumps in.

She makes me feel like I'm making a fuss about nothing if I raise it, I've tried to raise it gently by saying shall I deal with (client), saves you a job! type of thing. But still she says nothing wrong with her 'jumping in' .

I could weep with frustration. Is there any point me even trying to resolve it?

Keep referencing your previous emails amd copy in everyone she copies into hers.
"Thanks for confirming my previous email".
"As per my previous email, this has already been actioned".

"As per my previous email" is business speak for "can't you read?"

I think it makes her look stupid, not you.

Is there any way you can have a frank conversation with her and say you are not used to being micro-managed, that it means everything takes longer to do, and that you're really not happy with the situation?

OK, where I think I may be going wrong is by not cc'ing her on my reply for fear of her undermining me further.. but maybe I should do so, so I can point out to her and everyone that I've already replied when she does?

I have in the past replied again reiterating my advice (which is slightly different to hers) but is that playing with fire?

I really can't wait to get out but in these times of coronavirus I have to put up with it a bit longer. Whilst I'm desperate to leave any job is better than no job during these times.

Is there any way you can have a frank conversation with her and say you are not used to being micro-managed, that it means everything takes longer to do, and that you're really not happy with the situation?

Tried that last year and she played the 'I really don't know what you mean' card. Also told me I was overanalysing things!

I think you need to cc her. Because currently she doesn’t know you’ve dealt with it. If my boss is cced I will also cc him on response or tell him I will deal with it and then not copy him.

Just realised I did cc her on something today so she knew I was dealing with it and still she took over. It was a simple task, no need for her to get involved.

She sounds like an absolute bloody nuisance. Polish up that CV and get ready to go as soon as everything goes back to normal.

its the fact that if I raise anything my concerns are not taking seriously which hacks me of the most.. feel like I don't have a voice.

Seriously tempted to embarrass her when she advises on top of my advice by replying again reiterating my point and explaining the rationale.. ie seriously showing her up in front of clients... hmm that may have to remain a fantasy whilst the job market has gone to shit.

If I was the recipient of 2 slightly different emails offering slightly different advice I would feel annoyed and frustrated.
Which advice is correct?
Why are 2 people getting involved if I've only asked one person?

You could unwittingly be confusing your client group- have you discussed this possibility with your manager - this annoying (to others) aspect of the doubling up of advice and interfering after you've responded and what the consequences might be for others?

Do you do any anonymised "feedback from clients" questionnaires, ratings etc. where they might be prompted to give their opinions and suggest ways to improve your service - you could instigate this as a quality measure...

No chance of mixing up the client group, it's long established that X region is my client group. She just can't fucking stop herself from taking over! Also suggested to her (a while back) that it was duplication of work and could be confusing for the client. In one ear out the other.

The issue is more that she has no respect for how this makes me feel undermined and is not interested in listening to what I have to say .
I wrote an email trying to explain in a gentle way why it made me feel uncomfortable then deleted it as I knew she'd just think I was making a fuss about nothing (was never serious about sending it anyway but good to get it out if only to myself).

My best strategy is to tell my clients to only email her if they are escalating it or not happy with my advice and come to me first. Some have taken it on board but it keeps slipping and it's hard when she's been involved in something at an earlier stage.

Could you try ignoring her for part of the day?
A friendly -" it's all in hand - thanks" and then just follow up at the end of the day with what you've done that day and the outcome.

I suspect that she doesn't have much to do and is having to prove to higher up her worth.

She has loads to do which is why it's all the more confusing that she gives herself MORE work! I genuinely think she just cant let go and has to control everything.
Example, we have a new procedure and shes said to verbally check with client something before proceeding. She emailed client as she got wind of something, client said I had dealt with it she then asks the client have you verbally confirmed x? FFS he just said I'd dealt with it! So she doesn't trust I've done it?

I would categorically not be copying her in to any replies.

I would let her assume you are doing your job and if she micromanages, try to ignore it. If she's asking the client something it's up to them whether they can be arsed to tell her it's been confirmed.

In my experience stakeholders copy the boss (in your case your manager) for one of two reasons:

You have not dealt with it quick enough

You haven’t given the answer they want and they’re forum shopping

Could there be an issue with either of those?

No Pegasus, as she's copied in the beginning of the request so it's not that I haven't dealt with it.

There's nothing I can do but grin and bear, is there.

Whenever I raise an issue she DARVOs me and tells me off for raising it (takes what she sees as criticism very personally).

Is she the ultimate boss / owner? I have experienced similar in that situation where they basically say it's my business I'll do what I want and the buck stops with me
Also experienced a micro managing senior management bully who just did it to show how good he was
Tbh not much you can do about it but look elsewhere - you could look now so you are ready to jump when things settle down?

Shes not the owner- mid/senior management.

Is it bullying to refuse to listen to concerns and then blame the concern raiser?

She sounds exactly like my previous line manager. Who made my life hell. She's micromanaging you to exert her power and control. I would feel frustrated too. Its bad management and micromanagement can also be a form of bullying. Look up any bullying and dignity at work policies your company has.

Her management style will do nothing more than demotivate you at the very least. It is unprofessional for clients to receive two different responses, and I'm sure will be frustrating to them as well as you.

I would e-mail her and say i will respond to X e-mail. Keep a log and copies. Then if she she choses to respond as well regardless of you already informing her that you are dealing with it, use that log as a means to discuss the issue with her. If that is unsuccessful, I would then approach HR and her line manager to make them aware of the situation and seek support in finding a way forward.

However, be prepared as HR and line managers are often reluctant to intervene. At least you can reasure yourself that you tried everything to resolve the issue. But you may find that its best to move on instead.

Good luck !

Sounds like my manager and I also work in a professional advisory service!
@CloudsCanLookLikeSheep would you be in Scotland?

I would get pulled up for not having enough in my diary, despite my manager having NOTHING in her diary at all. I felt like asking if she wanted me to keep a note of how many shits I did a day.

I ended up complaining and I now have a different manager. See how that goes. I intend to tell my new manager no more than I need to and keep as much as I can to myself.