After five years out of work supporting DS who is autistic I took a job in a school as a TA.
It was a special school focusing on autism and I felt like I could offer good support.
I'm in my 50s, have a degree and could have looked at going back to my previous work at better pay but the teaching assistant role felt like a good fit.
I started at the beginning of January and loved it right from the start. Obviously being brand new to a school environment I made small mistakes. Things like how to position myself in the classroom etc and predict behaviours although this got better.
After two weeks they moved me to a younger classroom and this is where it really became more difficult. Obviously with younger children behaviour moves much faster. I worked with small groups of children to help them with tasks etc and I also got in early every day to set the classroom up. I donated Lego , I bought small items for things like fine motor skills to add to the box of activities. I joined in with everything such as swimming, I happily got in the water each week to support children. In short I loved it and enjoyed working with the children.
However within two weeks it became apparent that I was never getting it quite right for the teacher or the SLT. Just before the schools closed it came to a head and they were more or less saying I wouldn't pass the probation. I was devastated and ended up agreeing to hand in my notice.
So two weeks on I am sat at home being paid while doing nothing as although the school is open there are no students in.
I'm checking emails and the HT has let everyone know today that two members of staff are leaving and we all wish them well. I'm not mentioned.
Secondly on reflection I am fuming that in the 8 weeks I worked nobody offered any help in how I might change things around. There was criticism of how I taught a phonics session (hello never been shown HOW to do this and was following what the teacher gave me).
There was criticism of virtually everything.
If I'd been rude, sullen, lazy etc then I would understand it but taking someone enthusiastic and keen to learn then not helping them learn to do the job just sucks (as my 17yr old would say).
The HT told me that he never takes on inexperienced staff and usually goes to agencies if he needs cover. I just wish I could tell him that he should not have taken me on in that case as quite frankly after five years out I needed to build up confidence and my self esteem is now in the toilet.
They honestly just didn't help. It's like they took me on and then expected fully experienced work from someone brand new to the environment.
Feeling low today and it's just hit me that I am not going back. I loved it, I adored the children and liked the staff. I'm not going back and they haven' t even mentioned me in the end of term message.
I know in the grand scheme of things it's not important but it just hurts.
I have ADHD and maybe classroom based work isn't for me but it would have been nice if they had shown a little interest in supporting me.