First week back and already exhausted! Working mums please reassure me!!

[Ettenna]

DS is 6 months. DH is now f/t SAHF as I earn twice what he does. DS wakes at least twice a night and refuses to be soothed by DH so I end up dealing with him (DH does try but baby just screams until I bf him). Consequently I am beyond tired today. Have 40 minute drive to work and work long hours in a boarding school, including Saturday morning!!
Am I crazy to do this? We have no choice financially and DS seems absolutely fine with DH all day but I cannot see how I am going to physically cope with it all. Has anyone else a similar experience? Will it get easier? Am I just panicking?!

It does easier, little one will get older and settle more at night and you'll soon fall into a routine.

Once I had been back at work a couple of months things were much better, I was in a better routine and DS was sleeping longer.

Its hard being a mum and working but try not to be too hard on yourself as its only the first week back.

It's really hard but you do get used to it. I went back to work full-time when ds2 was 5 months old - dp's a SAHM and I'm the sole wage earner so we had no choice.

I found it incredibly difficult at first - was knackered even from walking to the train station - it felt like everyone was walking quicker than me! It was emotionally draining and my concentration was all over the place at work - they really shouldn't have been paying me for the first few months...

I think (although not wanting to depress you) it probably took a year or so for me to feel like my brain was in gear again and I was able to focus on work when I was at work and switch off the minute I got home. Try if at all possible to grab naps over the weekend and get some early nights in - it'll get easier but it takes time.

It's a huge adjustment at first but it will settle down and a pattern will develop which feels ok. This may involve going to be very early though!!
Hang on in there, it will get better - promise!!

Oh gosh.
I worked 2 days last week and 2 days this week and am shattered. Am working now and will have to work everuy evening this week and next at home. Not slept for over 2 and a half years.
No advice but lots of sympathy

Ettenna - you mention a boarding school - are you a teacher?

ah etenna it will get better. There is nothing like a cuddle from mum. it is knackering ,but the older ds gets the easier it will be. At least at work you can get a hot cup of tea
ive found that i have to be super organised and more or less go to bed when my dd does.Sometimes i really push the boat out and stay up til 9.00
youre not panicking,,, just adjusting to a new routine in your life, like ds

You have to be able to sleep at night. Once i went back to work the health visitor advised that DD was old enough to sleep through the night. It took 4 nights, with stints of up to 4 hrs, of going back every few minutes to a screaming child, just to lie her down, and walking away again. Very hard to do when DD is crying and you know if you cuddled her you would be back to sleep in a short while. Its totally grim but it does work. Being able to sleep to dawn is great. Friend of mine did the same, she called in the grandparents so she could sleep during the day, and they had her eldest over night so he wasnt disturbed.

Thanks for your supportive replies - sorry I vanished but had to supervise prep last night so got home late! Yes Popsycal I'm a teacher. I love it normally but boarding schools demand a great deal of 'extra' time(I've worked in the state sector too - I'm not suggesting it's worse for me!!)

I guess I feel a bit of an oddity - there aren't that many working mums of babies here so it's great to hear from others in the same boat. I'm going to bed comedy early, DH does a dream feed but LO still wakes by 2. He conks out again pretty quickly if bf is supplied pronto.
One good thing is that I can hardly wait to see him when I get home. I even enjoy pooey nappies! It's like time with him is now a huge treat rather than drudgery (happy drudgery but drudgery nonetheless, sometimes).

Ettenna - I found ir exceptionally hard to teach when my second one (non-sleeper) arrived. I have worked a 2 days week since he was 1 (now 2.5) and since he still doesn't sleep, it has been a godsend.

Ettenna - I know your pain ! Both myself and my DP work full time, and it is exhausting! But it is manageable. We have a really strict routine between us now, and it works (well, it works for us). I get up at 5.30 every day - put the washing on, get myself ready etc, and am at my desk at 07.30 (my commute is about an hour). DP gets up with DS, gets him dressed, and takes him to nursery. He is then in work by 09.30. I finish at 4.30pm, get back, and do the nursery pick up (about 6pm). We get to play for an hour or so each evening, and then from 7pm the military operation kicks back in...bath, bottle, bed etc. My DP and I then take it in turns each night to have "responsilibity" i.e. is DS wakes up tonight, then it's my turn (it was actually my turn last night, and he woke up 3 times ! I was happy !!!) Of course, even on my nights "off" I still hear him, but atleast I don't have to get out of bed, so sleep is as disturbed as it would be. We had the same problem initially, in that, DS would settle much quicker if I got up with him, but perservere - it only took about a week / ten days for him to get used to it. Also, once you get out of the feeding in the night part, you should be fine.
Honestly, I know it's knackering at the moment, but it does get better I promise !

I went back to work FT when dd was 6 months old and still bf, so I know exactly where you're coming from.

It is hard, but it does get easier, I promise. Partly because you adjust and partly because as your baby gets older the sleeping thing becomes less of a problem.

Just remember to take it easy on yourself when you aren't at work, don't kill yourself trying to get everything done at the weekend. Housework etc can wait until your baby is older.

shop on line,get a cleaner in [they dont cost as much as you think],take your washing to your mothers,buy ready meals,pay everything direct debit,write everything down you need to remember then get your partner to do it all...then make some cakes on your days off and you are mother earth.

lottilolipop - you are completely right.
I went back when DS was about 15 weeks ! (A financial need rather than a choice!) I order all my groceries / cleaning stuff / baby product on-line (I reckon this also saves you money - since you don't buy anything on impulse, no petrol costs etc.) Plus, I have a cleaner who comes in once a week. She costs me c.£16 a week and it really is money well spent. Of course, I still have to do my washing, tidy up on a daily basis etc. but it does mean I don't have to do the really shitty jobs (hoovering the stairs, changing the beds, etc.). More to the point, it means that on a weekend, I get to spend every minute with DS (really important if you don't really spend much time in the week) without trying to hoover around him, or mop the floors when he's learning to walk ! (BTW, don't try this - I did it a few weeks ago without thinking - my DS looked like an amateur ice skater flying round the living room !!! No accidents to report - but that was more luck than judgement !)

At the weekends nap in the morning and afternoon when your DS does. I went back when DD was 6 months and was a single parent. I recall being so exhaused commuting home that I was hallucinating.

Hello.
You HAVE to get some sleep so see if you can find a way of letting dh do every other night. You're not crazy, it does get easier but lack of sleep affects EVERYTHING.

(I went back ft when dd was 4 months, dh was a sahd and dd didn't sleep for 1.5 YEARS. It was hell but I'm still glad I went back to work)

Wow! It's nice to hear from others who have seriously considered sleeping on the floor of the disabled loo at work!! (I'm not kidding).

Thanks all, I really do appreciate your replies and I'll be implimaenting your suggestions asap.

LO is at such a cute and interesting stage at the moment (just sitting up in a very sweet and wobbly fashion) that i can forgive him anything..and like you say it's only temporary torture.

my personal fantasy was a nap under my desk.... I stuck out the night time waking for about 3 months afer I went back both times, napping at weekends. In the end I stayed with my brother for 2 nights while DH and the relevant DC did controlled crying. There are lots of views on this site about controlled crying, but by that stage it was right for us. As others have said here, about 3 -4 nights and then the boys slept through.

It will get easier