Commuting and work conditions

[Frandler]

Hello,

This is my first post, and I'm really sorry if I'm intruding or posting in the wrong topic!

Me and my other half have been together for 7 happy years. We bought our first home last year and have completely renovated it. We both work full time with modest wages. He works locally and I have a 2 hour each way commute to London.

We are really wanting to start a family in the next year or so, but I have some worries. I'm hoping that someone out there may be able to share their experiences. My 2 main concerns are:

1. The long commute. I know there are a lot of ladies out there who commute whilst pregnant, I just wanted to know people's experiences. Currently, I wake up at 4:30am and get home at around 8pm. I'm scared that I'm going to really struggle with the commute and hours. I work for a small independent company, how easily have other people found it to change their working hours whilst pregnant?

1. My job is mainly workshop based. I'm on my feet most of the day lifting heavy items and using sharp tools. With the research that I have done, I believe that I could ask to do different work whilst pregnant if my current job is too dangerous to do but there's very little to do if I'm not hands on with the job.

There aren't any jobs in my industry closer to home so I'm worried that we'll have to consider me leaving my current job and getting a different job before trying to conceive.

Again I'm sorry if I'm intruding as I'm not currently expecting. I'm just trying to be as prepared as possible before the next step. Thank you in advanced! F

I wouldn’t have been able to do that commute at any stage of my pregnancies. I had very severe sickness with all four, then an incredibly painful pelvis and coccyx followed by severe tiredness in my third tri.

If I’m honest, I think I’d be reconsidering your whole setup if you want to have kids.

I think you’ll find it impossible with both of you commuting that distance and working those kind of hours with a child to consider. I know there are people who do it but it wouldn’t be for me.

I commuted over an hour each way 5 days a week until 35 weeks. Tbh it was ok until the last month or so especially if I had to stand. Even so 2 hours would be a lot and very difficult once a baby was in the equation. You may need to reconsider this now, and how you would manage and fund childcare were you to return to this role. Bear in mind you may have to repay employer's maternity pay over and above smp if there are conditions that you need to return and need to be in a role before becoming pg to qualify for smp.

Employer needs to risk assess your role and identify hazards then make reasonable adjustments. However that does not mean you cannot do your existing role. You are entitled to paid time of for pg related appointments.

Work will be legally required to make adjustments for your safety during pregnancy.

The big issue will be working after DC.That commute won’t be sustainable with DC IMO, even with a DP/H (I commute 90 mins which is really crap).

You’re not married? So unless you’re wealthy will need to continue to work FT. If the labour market locally has few options it’d be best to move.

Why do you live 2 hours away from your job and local to your DP/DH’s job?

Pregnancy and a long commute like that will be very difficult but that’s also not really sustainable long term, if you want any kind of work life balance. Can’t you move to be much nearer your job? And then either DP be the one to commute or find alternative work nearer there?

My gosh, you must be exhausted. How have you managed this so far without a nervous breakdown!? That sort of day would kill me. I'd definitely be looking for another job. If not before the baby then definitely afterwards.

Could you look for a local job?

Another person saying that whether or not it's ok while pregnant (I'd have been ok if I got a seat, but I had a really easy pregnancy), it will horrible when you have a baby. Four hours a day not at work but not with your child is an awful lot to give up. Would you plan to go part-time?

Thank you to those who have shared how their pregnancies went and thoughts on the commute. I really appreciate it and it's given me food for thought.

Some really helpful insight. By the looks of it, I'll
Probably have to put a hold on my career for a few years and do something else just to be able to have a family. Which isn't ideal, but we're not super rich and can't afford to live closer to London. It is tough hours now, but I love my work... but I think family may be more important.

Again, thanks for some good responses