Stuck in a mental lock down

[BlueIris111]

Hi Guys,

I am a 24 year old mum of one and expecting another in October this year and work nights at Mc donalds.

My parents are unhappy with me having another child because my husband and daughter still live in their home and they feel we are being irresponsible. I will be honest i didn't plan this one , it was unfortunate that we lost our home last year a year after our daughter was born and we have been saving up to move out sometime this year. We are almost there financially but that doesn't stop my family for being horrible about it. I could get an abortion but dont really agree with it .

Anyway my main problem is actually about work . So i graduated from university in November with a third class Honors in forensic Science and part of the problem is my parents want me to leave mc donalds and get a graduate job. However i passed university on medical compensation due to depression and a surgery i needed to have on my stomach after having my daughter. Passing on compensation has done absolutely nothing for me emotionally , i feel useless , no good and get nervous when applying for graduate jobs because not only is a third class honors considered terrible but i only got it because of my medical issues at the time affecting my studies.

No matter how much i look at my grades and the fact i only passed one module on compensation i still feel terrible.

I would love a graduate job and my dream is to be a crime scene investigator and currently there is a job available in my area but if im honest with you part of me feels like i dont deserve it and i should just stay at mc donalds. I enjoy the job and im a failure anyway. -_-

At my graduation ceremony so many other graduates told me well done for finish my study's and looking after my one year old. They said that it must of been extremely hard. It was really hard especially due to the amount of pain i was in before the operation after my exams but i still feel so undeserving.

I know getting a graduate job would be amazing for my family , we would go from barley making £17,000 in total annually to about a combined family salary of at least £31,000 and may even be able to get our own home and not rely on renting or shared ownership.

I just dont know how to fix me , ive tried going to counselling but i dont find it helpful . I dont think it helps that ive had 20 plus graduate interviews and not been offered a job which makes me feel even more worthless and honestly i do blame the fact i passed on compensation. :(

Anyone able to help me feel better about my situation ?

On a bright note work are considering giving me a promotion , that's something to be happy about. I do love working at mc donalds , i really enjoy the job. I just cant help but want to provide more for my family and get frustrated and feel bad when i think i cant or am no good.

I would love a graduate job and my dream is to be a crime scene investigator and currently there is a job available in my area but if im honest with you part of me feels like i dont deserve it and i should just stay at mc donalds. I enjoy the job and im a failure anyway

Make the crime scene investigator your longer term goal and look at how you can supplement your Degree by improving the grades in the modules you took that you need better grades.

Make a list of your modules and grades, then decide which ones you need to improve. Have you researched into OU at taking individual modules?

The only way to get to your end goal is to put the past behind you and not allow it to hold you back. That will take a lot of hard work and time to achieve. Set yourself some short and medium term goals, eg identify modules to study by x date, enroll by x date, look into possible grants/bursary/financial support by x date, complete study by x date etc.

Meanwhile keep working where you are, as you enjoy it there. There is no shame in working in a hospitality / leisure industry role, it's very much needed in the UK economy!

I imagine that crime scene investigation is extremely hard to get into (competitive). You're also going to be very busy with 2 young children. If you are doing well at Macdonalds, I'd stick with that for now, especially if you will qualify for maternity rights there. Do everything you can to get promoted up the management ladder and then use your success and experience there to get a better job. Maybe a few years down the line you can improve your qualifications and attempt a career change. Even then, having done that from a position of hard work and success and a good job reference will act in your favour.

I imagine it will also help your mental health if you allow yourself to think of Macdonalds as the start of a genuine career. And don't fantasise about crime investigation unless you've fully researched it. If it's extremely hard to get into, it may be best to accept that now, and move on.

You need to make new goals and look other jobs. Regardless of how you passed your degree, you still have one - which is more than a lot of people.

There are jobs that require a degree, management schemes in aldi take on graduates and are excellent pay.

Would you benefit from interview training? If you are getting to interview than your 3rd class degree isn't putting employers off as if it they would have prescreened you out.

So the next question is why aren't you getting through the interview? It could be that you need to address how you cover questions at the interview.

I am looking for candidates who can tell me what they did specifically for the question I ask and normally I suggest the star technique for answered a competency based question

Situation - what was the problem
Task - what needed to be done
Action - what did YOU (not we) do
Result - what happened

Also - it's sound so unfair but a lot of an interview is based on rapport - so make the interviewers life easier - be friendly, be positive, be cheerful, don't give one word answers and don't over talk the interviewer. Mostly the interviewer will be managing you so you want to show the best person you are.

Are their local run courses on interviews? Or does McDonalds provide any training?

@welshladywhois40 I wouldn't be surprised if my interview technique is the problem. I get really Nervous and find myself waffling.I feel like the only reason i got the job at mc donalds was because of the on the job evaluation that i apparently did amazing at. I'm not sure if there are any local run courses on interviews but that's something i can and am interested in looking into. I never really considered that there might be local courses about interviewing before. In terms of what mc donalds offers i know they offer hospitality qualifications or a management degree when you reach a management position.

@daisychain01 As for studying on the OPU ive looked into that and can afford the courses. Sadly even with a bursary i have to pay the course price up front first and i do not have £2000 for even a single module :/ Ive asked about lending and then paying family back when i get it but they say they can afford it either. The only hope id really have is saving up for it which is going to be much harder when we move out my parents house while we are both on minimum wage. I will certainly see how much of my saved up money we have left after moving out if any. Hopefully there might be enough for the module i had trouble with.

I think i will try to be positive and do what i can to get to management at Mc donalds because i agree i think that will help a lot when applying for other jobs in the future. Staying mentally sane at work currently is proving quite a at the moment because quite a few night shifts now have been massively understaffed and having almost constantly severely nausea is making working in that fast paced environment really hard. Also you wont believe how many people come to mc donalds all night long !! :O It doesn't help that i have to smell the food all night either but working really hard to hang in there and hoping the nausea goes passed 12 weeks.

Hopefully all goes well and i do get the promotion because then i will be one step away from management which is currently my goal :)

sorry i meant OU and that i cant afford the courses not can :P