Bullying boss raising grievance

[purplelila2]

Im in a new job and have only been here for 3 months.

In that time I've witnessed some really cruel bullying behaviour towards my colleagues from my boss I've also been subjected to it myself.

Im currently keeping a log of everything that's gone on in case I need to raise a grievance.

Realistically is it possible to continue working for this person once you've raised a grievance against them?

I personally don't feel like I can if I did go to hr I'd have to resign.

That's why the workplace bullies get away with it for so long. Nobody wants to be the one to stick their head above the parapet and possibly lose their job.

It's a difficult decision, isn't it, but you are doing the right thing by keeping a note of everything. Are you noting down occasions of bullying towards other staff as well?

@dustibooks yes im noting down instances I've witnessed against others as well as those towards me.

I feel like if I went to hr and even if found my boss is a bully I don't believe she would get more than just a warning . The bullying isn't for a protected characteristic eg disability or racism.

Its talking down to us treating us like children and micro managing and shouting and humiliating us .

I've honestly never known anything like it

If you have a decent HR, then get yourself a new job then take everything you have and give it to them

I don’t think a person with no employment protection (under 2 years) will come through this at the expense of a boss.

My ex boss shouted at me at a meeting. I raised a grievance and the business backed him and ballsed up everything to do with my grievance and I’m now preparing for tribunal

I was there 6 years. Means nothing. I’m out of a job and it’s costing thousands to take this arsehole to task.

hmmm ok so this confirms what I'd been thinking all along.

Find another job asap hand in notice and present evidence to hr!

I raised a grievance a few months ago and I regret it. It’s extremely rare for grievances to be upheld and it’s even more upsetting when you get an unfair outcome. Unfortunately bullying isn’t even illegal unless tied to a protected characteristic and even then it’s incumbent upon you to prove. Either move or find another way to address the bullying. I’m currently seeing a coach as it’s difficult for me to move jobs. It is helping me to change the way I respond.

You won't win on this, however much right is on your side.
My DH, was bullied at work by a new boss, he brought a grievance against this boss, of the 10 points raised 9 were found in his favour, he offered to go to mediation with his boss do they could continue to work together, he had been there over 8 years, his boss barely a year. DH was given gardening leave, then paid off.
Find yourself s new job before you raise this.

I can't see you being there in 6 months' time - there are already fault-lines in the working relationship that will be extremely difficult to resolve, and due to the short time you've worked there, I'd pull out all the stops to find a different role in a new company.

When bad behaviour is tolerated, it will grind you down, you'll never feel supported or appreciated. It's the worst way to erode self-worth, and the longer it carries on, the more harmful it will be to you. I wouldn't even bother going through the effort of raising a grievance. Had you been there several years, it might have been worth it, but not for the sake of 3 months, think of your health and stress levels first and foremost.

It's possibly worth disclosing the facts in an HR interview, but that's about as far as I would take it. Escape with your dignity intact!

an HR exit-interview, I meant to say.

@daisychain01 I am pulling out all stops to find something suitable but I'm struggling
This job was a step up and career progression I can take a step backwards but would rather not.

There have been times where I have almost been in tears at my treatment.

I also hate when the others get picked on it affects my morale .

I raised a grievance about a boss that sounds similar after being there for a few months. HR at first said they would investigate but once I resigned they brushed it under the rug.
I took a more than 50% pay cut to take a lower pay grade on a part time basis but I protected my mental health.

How long has your boss been there? Can / di management know what he is like?

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I sympathise. I raised a grievance last year and have been on LTS ever since. The difference is that I have protected characteristics.

The grievance and appeal process have dragged on and on. I had hoped senior managers and HR would help me but I was wrong. It was very much circle the wagons.

I posted a few threads about it under various usernames (to try not to be identified by any colleagues but some MNetters unfairly tried to dox me so I got the threads removed).

Anyway, I don't regret raising a grievance as I needed to make a stand. I'd had enough.

My grievance was only partly upheld and only the minor points. I'm going through the appeal process right now.

It helps that I have union support. You should consider joining one for advice and support.

I'm trying to get another job too but it is difficult. Firstly because my current job is very niche, secondly because it has great salary and benefits, thirdly because my protected characteristics make me a less attractive candidate.

I was in a situation with a bullying boss and fortunately we managed to get it dealt with and he left.

Two things that helped us:

1. his manager changed. Previously the bully's manager was soft. So as staff we would complain about the bully's behaviour to his manager. Nothing would get done and the bully would actually shout at his own manager. New manager arrived and myself and a colleague told new manager about bully behaviour - new manager also witnessed a lot of the bad behaviour.

2. bully started being badly behaved with non direct reports - ie peers outside of direct team and they raised a direct complaint.

Result was that bully no longer works here anymore.

This job was a step up and career progression I can take a step backwards but would rather not.

Unfortunately you'll have to put this one down to experience (figuratively speaking) It isn't the dream job you thought it was, so although it's hard and you'd rather not throw in the towel, the quicker you can, the sooner you can get things back on track, elsewhere.

Believe me I truly empathise, I've had to take retrograde steps in my career, the fact is that careers aren't just an upward trajectory, and it's sometimes necessary to stand still or even go backwards, especially if the working environment isn't conducive and bullying is involved. To your original question, after only 3 months in the role, to raise a grievance will likely point up that there isn't a good fit between you and this awful manager, and they will want to get rid of the problem as quickly as possible.

I'm not trying to convince you to leave, because you're probably already of that opinion, all I'm saying is that you'll never regret leaving, even if you have a few "false starts", rather than wasting time hoping things may get better. Leave them to it, their company will haemorrhage staff, because it sounds toxic there.

@KatherineJaneway I've been here just under 3 months.

This job was supposed to be a step up for me career wise and it is with with regard to the title and salary but absolutely nothing else .

I'm micromanaged here and we are all struggling to varying degrees in addition to the shouting.

Next time I witness inappropriate behaviour from my manager to one of my colleagues I don't know if I should say something

daisy I've already decided to leave and I'm actively looking it's just I don't know how much longer I can bare it here .

i cant afford to leave without another job in place first I'm really struggling.

I'm so sorry that it's unbearable for you @purplelila2 micromanagement is a serious form of bully, undermining confidence and shows a complete lack of trust in the person's ability.

Could you put the feelers out for some contract work, and break free?. Even if it's a 6-9 month contract, it will help you regain your mojo, and short term, an employer is normally very grateful for the extra pair of hands. It can be a stop gap, useful on your CV (contract work is normalised nowadays) and it's a breather, to consider your next move.

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I feel for you - but there's no point IMO in raising it prior to leaving because then you will get even more bullied.

I am in a similar position. Not only is he a bully etc but he is a control freak and will even amend a basic template for me instead of delegation!

I'm a mature employee and this is a step up- but his insecurity/issues are affecting my ability to learn the job. If I leave, does it look like I can't cope with the step up? It took a year to get this opportunity (I'm mature) and taking a step backwards may not be a good career move.

What tips did the career coach give to help cope with an awful situation?

I have spoken to him in private, informally- he improved slightly, but it didn't take long for him to show his true colours.

I'm scared I won't get another opportunity, but at the same time I
am not getting support and training

I think you should just try to remain as professional as possible and look for another job.

The problem with keeping a log - especially if it's at work - is that if it's found, you could get in serious trouble ... as in, the bully could make life very difficult for you.

If you were to raise a personal grievance, you'd likely be seen as a trouble maker by any potential future employers. The #MeToo movement has brought a lot of change but we're not quite at the point where whistleblowers are protected just yet.