Rubbish at my job

[Cinderella69]

Hi. I have been working at my job for 18 months now & I Hate it! I dread going in & it's making me ill. I keep making mistakes. I have been looking at other jobs but my self esteem has taken a battering & I don't think I can do anything else. I really wish I could find something that I enjoy. I'm 50 & never really enjoyed any of my jobs! I feel such a failure Not sure what I expect to achieve going on here, just thought by getting it off my chest might make me feel better

You have passed your probation, so you're not rubbish.

What don't you like about your job?

If you've never enjoyed your jobs, then it is not surprising that you don't feel you're good at them. That's not a criticism but hopefully an insight that you can use to change the work you do, so that it is at least pleasant and not so stressful that you don't want to go to work.

Are the errors you're making because they haven't given you enough training, or support if you have a query? Are you not clear about what you're expected to do? Are you checking your work before it goes elsewhere - the day I started rereading things I'd typed (especially emails), the more I picked up on those annoying typos and spag mistakes that creep in when you're in a rush!

When you find you've made a mistake, why not keep a note of what went wrong, so that you learn on the job.

Have you heard of imposter syndrome?
Even the most outwardly confident people feel like this sometimes.
If you’ve always felt like this though, I think you have to try and do something about it.
You haven’t been fired, which would suggest you’re better at the job than you think.
Is there any way (performance review etc) you can get an objective idea of how you’re doing?

I work as a Dr's receptionist/administrator. It's very busy. You have to be good at multi tasking which I have come to realise I'm not good at. Unfortunately a lot of jobs require you to be brilliant at multi tasking and have good attention to detail. I think the only reason why I'm still there is because I get on with everyone. Although lately I feel that some of my colleagues are talking about me. I've always been a worrier. I'm up early now thinking about something I've done at work or haven't done! I've had plenty of training but there is so much to remember & I don't have a good memory. I keep loads of notes. My last review went ok. The only negative was that I should be more assertive.But I do think lately I have been making more mistakes. I'm just worried that one day it's going to be a really bad one! I can't wait to retire!

Your last review was ok and people are never employed because they're nice. Doctors surgeries are accountable so they couldn't justify employing someone useless!

Everybody makes mistakes, but they're more likely to happen when tired, overworked and multitasking.

people these days also look for the there return of investment either it is in terms of money or their time. But what I think they should look forward to nurturing their employee.