How to handle this end-of-year review

[MaraScottie]

Hey all,
I'm in my company 11 years, in a technical role, and have been reporting to my manager for more than 10 years (yeah, really!) I really love my job, in loads of ways, and have really progressed in the last 12-18 months, both in confidence and in what I'm taking on. I've positioned myself as a specialist in a very niche area that is of huge legal importance to the company, and I'm one of 2 people in my dept who can claim these skills.

I have my end-of-year review next week and have massive anxiety about this. Last year (2018), I really pushed myself (I'm an introvert, so all the extra work I volunteered to take on, presentations, demos, etc was really bloody hard!) but my manager dismissed my achievements as something the company expected anyway as they have 'high standards'. This really really upset me, after a year of really pushing myself trying to grow and take on more responsibility, I felt my achievements were not being appreciated and I really felt demotivated after the review.

2019 was a game changer in the type of work I took on and I feel I achieved even more making myself very valuable to the company. However I've such anxiety about this meeting, about trying to prove myself yet again (when I could have sat back and coasted for the year), I'm afraid I'm literally going to cry with frustration. Appreciate my manager is stuck between a rock and a hard place with regards employee ratings but I just want to be acknowledged! Is this ridiculously childish?

My plan this year is to interview around and consider moving, but in the mean time, how can I get through this review when I've built it up to being so much. I really can't give my manager the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Gah. I probably shouldn't place so much importance on what the company rates me out of 5, FFS, but I really do (high-achiever, insecure, people-pleaser here but changing slowly!)

Please give me some tips to try change my attitude and approach for next week, because I'm afraid I'm going to explode. Thanks

Firstly you’re not alone in feeling this way, so many people find these reviews an anxious time!

I’d say preparation is key. So write a list of all the things you’ve done, both as expected for your role then the above and beyond items. If you’ve got a job description and maybe the behaviours for your company then compare these to the lists you’ve written.

Keeping it as factual as possible will take some emotion out of it. Also if your manager downplays anything, ask what more they would expect in order to achieve a higher grade.

Best of luck. Sounds like you’ve really done a great job!

If you don't get the rating you believe you are due, I'd be asking your manager for specific examples of what that rating would look like in your role?

I've done this before - after two years of sucking it up. It doesn't sit naturally with me, but i took a deep breath and just asked "what does a 4 look like for xyz skill? What are you not seeing from me that you would like to?"

Good luck

Thanks guys. I've done all the documentation already as part of the 'review process'. My stomach is in a knot at the moment, anxiety is off the charts. It's ridiculous. It's not a case that I'm worried I haven't done enough, it's worrying that the company won't acknowledge what I HAVE done, and it'll be another wasted year of stress and effort.

I’m so glad you’re going to look around and interview at other places. I think you’re

A) being taken completely for granted, and

B) being kept “in your place” because you are actually very valuable to the organisation.

I’ve experienced this myself - I was in a job for a long time and for.a couple of years I busted a gut and exceeded my target by 100% as well as doing all sorts of extra curricular activities, and was told that was just what I was expected to do and it was nothing noteworthy. The following year I purposely didn’t try and exceed my target, only went slightly over target and in my end of year review my manager complained that I wasn’t pulling my weight as the team was relying on me greatly exceeding my target in order to meet the team target! Meanwhile two other team members were getting away with only achieving half their target..... I’d been there a long time too. What I did was leave as soon as practicable - and my manager was utterly flummoxed as to why.

Try to give your manager the heads up in advance. For example if they have to complete a form for it, complete it yourself first and be honest but as positive as possible. Also provide really good examples, then give it to them in advance.

If you have the same form each year and the same person completing it, it can get stale very easily. Also I would suggest you go off piste and write out what you want to achieve next year. Ask what you think it will take to really move up a level or get a big pay rise.

#hedgefund, your second point has really hit home to be honest. One of the main reasons I've progressed so much this year is that I made the decision to stop deferring decisions to my manager. I literally just stopped - never asked his opinion, I just did what I felt was right in all situations. And you know what? It was bloody liberating. I don't think he's intentionally doing this, but I completely blame him for my lack of confidence in my role and my lack of progression. It's the little things isn't it? The small corrections, the little comments "why not do it like this" etc that just eat away at you, belittling your choices and making you second guess yourself.

I've got my C.V open and I'm updating it as we speak.

It sounds like he doesnt want to go further. He is holding you back for a reason.

First you need to destress about this. Try some mindfulness exercises, meditate, mantras. You need to remain calm.

You could try and honestly say "I feel unappreciated in my role". "I have done x y and z all of which went above and beyond and acheived e f and g for the company". (And less professional) "I do not see other people making this much effort for tbe company and yet you still give me lousy ratings. "

It sounds like you have been there too long. You need to leave. So take that into your review and try not to give a shit!

ZenNudist, thanks. I took a similar approach last year actually - and his response was "Mara, getting a "meets-expectations" is a great achievement, it's not a negative thing at all"

I've never felt so patronised in my life!

Its standard corporate BS that meeting the high expectations of the company is a great acheivement. You need to calmly ask why specific extra tasks youve taken on are not deserving of an exceeding expectations. And what would bring an exceeding?

Honestly you are upset because youve been there ages, you are at heart comfortable and same time know you have outgrown the role. Why dont you cheer yourself with the knowledge that underappreciating you will give them a headache when you aren't around.

I'm so afraid I'm just going to lose my cool and tell my manager to stuff it. I've been sitting in front of him for reviews for the past 10 years and I've had it with his bullshit.

Just found out from a colleague there that a female developer who left a few weeks ago, did so because she was told (by my manager) that it was too soon to consider career advancement (she had been there 2 years). And he's also been downplaying another female colleague's achievements (and she's bloody amazing) - sounds like he's a serial asshole and it's not just me. FFS.

Well do you get any start of year objectives? If so are they based on your role? Are they smart? If you dont have specific objectives to reach in order to reach your average performance you cant really know if you've exceeded them. If you do you should have a list of things you should have done to get an average review, then if you push further in several areas maybe it could be a good review, if on top of that you have done something else well above and beyond it might be an excellent review. But you need to know what your starting base line is to be able to prove you have surpassed it no matter what anyone else thinks. If your objective was to do some/more presentations and that's what you did then that would just be averagely meeting your objective.