Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Co worker being unpleasant to me since our reviews

4 replies

alltoomuchrightnow · 01/02/2020 00:33

We've both had reviews a week ago.
In mine, manager said she noticed this co worker sometimes snaps and me and others. I said yes but I didn't want to come to her (manager) about it and my perspective was it probably wasn't personal but all I could think was, cultural misunderstanding (her english isn't amazing and she doesn't pick up on social nuances well) Manager is also from another country and agreed with me about this woman. I even stuck up for this co worker and said how helpful and knowledgeable she is. I said how I just want to get on with everyone. I never told my boss about it before because it wasn't like I thought it was bullying or harassment.,.. co worker came across as abrupt, snappy and sometimes a bit rude (customers have said it too) but as I said, I didn't think was personal, perhaps could be stress too. I'm also a lot newer than this woman
Anyway, manager told me she'd mentioned to her in the review about her snapping at people.
Obviously I can't tell co worker any of this. And she's been awful to me since. She must think I went straight to our boss with tales, when in fact I'd have said nothing if boss hadn't brought it up, and as I said, I stuck up for her.
Now in a really horrible situation as can't tell her what boss said or how it really was.
Don't really want to go to boss either as it feels like real playground stuff to me. But this woman had me in tears tonight saying I'd been rude to her tonight. I wasn't as never am to anyone, also I have anxiety and depression so I'm not great at standing up for myself. It feels like gaslighting as she is rude. I'm always treading on eggshells around her.

OP posts:
puds11 · 01/02/2020 00:37

Your boss handled it wrong. Sounds like she threw you under the bus rather than own it herself.

Celeriacacaca · 01/02/2020 10:03

You need to get your boss to speak to her and make it clear it wasn't you.

alltoomuchrightnow · 01/02/2020 18:46

I've messaged boss about it to make her aware. She's certain this woman will come to her about it anyway. So it's good I said something first.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 03/02/2020 14:00

Anyway, manager told me she'd mentioned to her in the review about her snapping at people.

My take on it is that your manager is fully aware that your coworker is unpleasant, that's her communication style (rather abrupt and scratchy), so she won't be giving you a hard time.

Just let your coworker continue to dig a hole for herself and you continue to be professional and polite in contrast. Job's a good'un

New posts on this thread. Refresh page