How should I handle this?

[C0nfuddled]

I work in a small company of 12. This week I have been aware something is up as there has been lots of closed doors and whispering.
I have since found out that the entire team are going out this Friday for one of our senior members hen night. I have obviously not been invited. They don't know that I know yet.
This senior member is a bit of a bully and for the last six months I have been in her sights. The others just say "
I am absolutely not fussed about not being invited but what has upset me is the fact that the entire team who I thought were my friends have been keeping this from me, including my boss.
I am going to go to speak to my manager later on and just want some help at putting my point across.

Sorry. The others just say " that's just how she is" about the bully.

Ultimately it's up to them who they invite. So you need to separate that from the overall bullying issue.

It's v v hard. We have a bully at work as well and when she is being nice to you it's such a relief that I can see how being in her golden circle is appealing.

On Friday, pack up your stuff and then plaster a huge smile on your face and say "Righto, I'm off. Have a BRILLIANT time at the party tonight, hope there are pics next week, have a good one! Night all!" and leave.

High road high road high road. Bullies hate it.

Agree with pp re taking the high road but leaving one person out of a social event is mean, immature and downright unprofessional.

Chin up op

As you walk out the door I'd say something breezy along the lines of "sorry got to dash off on time, friends staying for the weekend - have a nice time, all"

Leave it intentionally vague and definitely don't bother letting them think you know.

It's like "Face? Bovvered?"

Lots of people won't take sides at work, regardless of right and wrong.

How did you deal with it in the end?

I dealt with it very calmly.

I've booked a holiday over the wedding week so I'm not left to be on call and one of them will have to do it. Then as a PP said, I left for the day and said "Have a lovely time away this weekend for the hen".

So today will probably be a bit awkward as one of them posted the photos in the work group instead of the private group they had arranged it in .

It has opened my eyes to them and I won't be covering shifts for any of them anymore, (especially Christmas or when the bully is on call as I've done for the last few years).

Line drawn and time to move on. This has strengthened my resolve to look for another job this year.

By the way, this is a professional(!) group of people. We are all in our 40s and 50s and I am far to old to be playing infantile games. Onwards and upwards!

Good for you, well done OP!

It's ridiculous OP and sometimes l think the excitement of secret planning and subterfuge of leaving someone out of something becomes bigger than the actual event for some! Good on you for being the mature one about it! And good luck with the job hunt!

Well done OP, very nicely and maturely done.

Well done OP, nicely played.

This happened to me last year. Everyone was invited to a weekend meetup except myself and another colleague. It was meant to be a secret but when we found out we played it cool and on the monday asked if they had fun..it was nice seeing the stunned faces.

Myself and other colleague laughed it off.