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Original poster

Colleague dilemma

16 replies

BettyMaryBoo · 09/12/2019 20:19

Work in team of 4 in a classroom. Job stressful, very enjoyable. 1 person giving us silent treatment. This person upset/angry that I didn't tell them myself that I got promoted. They have no interest in higher role. Silent treatment last Wednesday and Thursday, they refused my offer to talk on Thursday.. On Friday I spoke to person who turned their back on me whilst I was talking, I apologising for hurting their feelings... Today silent treatment all day, I again apologise via private message. Read message but no response .... I think I've done a that I can and I can't anything more... Anyone else had such drama? The person early 50s, me a few years younger

OP posts:
Ebonyandivory2 · 09/12/2019 20:20

Your colleague is a pathetic drama queen. Ignore

parrotonmyshoulder · 09/12/2019 20:22

Sounds like my team sometimes. Ignore the ignoring, bright smile, relentless joy. Works for me. Confronting her doesn’t!

lljkk · 09/12/2019 20:25

Need to talk to the other colleagues about your best strategy. Which may be nothing more than what you already tried.

I can't fathom being annoyed that someone didn't tell me they got a promotion, feel like there must be some other aspect to this.

HappyHammy · 09/12/2019 20:27

Congratulations on promotion. Ignore the drama. Giving someone the silent treatment is bullying.

Thatnovembernight · 09/12/2019 20:29

If a colleague was bring as unpleasant as this I would have no hesitation in reporting it to whoever is in charge. Silent treatment is both unprofessional and a bullying tactic.

TuttiCutie · 09/12/2019 20:30

You've done all you can do.

If it carries on much longer, raise it as bullying - which it is - with a view to them being moved to another classroom.

thistimelastweek · 09/12/2019 20:36

This behaviour is unprofessional (and childish).

I would inform her/his turned back, in a bright and cheerful voice, that I have run out of apologies and I am now raising concerns with the senior leadership about effective professional attitudes

Aquamarine1029 · 09/12/2019 20:39

Leave her to her passive-aggressive, silent tantrum. I would act like absolutely nothing is wrong. All she is doing is making a fool out of herself.

Original poster
BettyMaryBoo · 09/12/2019 20:45

Thanks everyone for helping me out

OP posts:
violinrosa · 09/12/2019 20:52

I am not convinced there isn't far more to this than you are revealing here (which is your prerogative).

Why is your colleague like this, do you think? Is it because of a whole host of things that have built up and now she is having to stay silent in case she explodes? because I do remember very clearly working somewhere, where, in order to keep my sanity, I had to stay silent and if someone wanted to avoid the real problems in the place, could have construed that as the silent treatment.

I despair at how the bullied are so often seen, when it is convenient, as the problem rather than the symptom.

TimeforanotherChange · 09/12/2019 20:58

Absolutely agree with @thistimelastweek. Utterly unprofessional behaviour and I would challenge.

CupASoup · 09/12/2019 21:02

You've tried to resolve things but it hasn't worked.

Your colleague is being rude and unprofessional - colleagues have to communicate.

As it's not been resolved you need to escalate it to your manager for them to deal with it.

ClemDanFango · 09/12/2019 21:05

Stop apologising to her! It’s none of her bloody business when/how you tell people you’ve been promoted.
She can’t stand that you’ve got spotlight and this behaviour is to ensure the spotlight is diverted to her, she’s enjoying having the upper hand by your grovelling apologies.
Her behaviour is childish bullying, I would tell her finally it needs to stop now or you’ll be forced to take it further and then do it if it carries on.
It astounds me how bloody childish some adults can be.

Drum2018 · 09/12/2019 21:12

Do not apologise. It's not your fault she's being a silly cow. If she wanted the promotion she should have applied. Go in tomorrow and act as if nothing happened. Speak to her as normal. Chat to the other colleagues as normal. If she chooses to ignore you then just focus your conversation on the others until she grows up.

UpTheRhineWithoutAPaddle · 09/12/2019 22:37

Similar situation for me - colleague giving me the silent treatment after I let her line manager know she'd been skiving for the millionth time - I'd kept schtumm for ages. Tried love bombing her and ignoring the petty behaviour to no avail 🙄 the threat of me raising a formal dignity at work complained changed her attitude quick smart though 😉
Funny that eh?

misspiggy19 · 10/12/2019 03:24

I would inform her/his turned back, in a bright and cheerful voice, that I have run out of apologies and I am now raising concerns with the senior leadership about effective professional attitudes

^I would do this

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