Full time work with small child: how hard does it get?

[AuntieTowie]

I'm a new member who wants a reality check: how hard does full-time work get once you have a small child?
I'm asking because my ds is 7.5 months old, and happily in childcare a day and a half a week since 6 months while I work freelance from home. My ideal job has just come up and I've had an interview for it, but they are pretty sure the job is a full-time one (I wanted to do it part time).
DS is happy with his childminder and if I worked part time DH would take over childcare two weekdays (he's also freelance). If I was full-time we'd need more childcare. As of right now, full-time seems very doable.
But I just want to know now (rather than later and from experience) how much harder it's going to get as DS gets older and if I'm mad to give up the arrangements I've got now for the chance to do a job I think I'd really enjoy. BTW, we probably want to have a second child in a couple of years.
All advice/experience gratefully received.

So much depends on you and what you want for yourself and your ds. I went back to part time work when ds was 7 moths old but because of the nature of the job, I had to do 5 mornings a week. I would pick ds up from nursery and put him down for his nap and that was it - no real playing time or anything. It was difficult when he was poorly too (but sounds as if your dh's work is more flexible than mine so that'll help). In the end, I felt like I wasn't spending any time with him or getting to know him and I resigned. I took two years off and am now getting back into part time work - he starts school this Sept. So nearly full time work didn't work out for me but that's not to say it won't for you. I left because I needed to spend more time with ds and realised I didn't want to miss out but that was a very personal decision.

i worked ft from dd being 4 months. I hadn't realised that my immune system had been ruined by a difficult pregnancy & brith, and being a teacher i spent the first few months back getting every bug you can imagine. if your ds is older you probably won't suffer that. it is hard - specially if they have a bad night, but we now have a cleaner & gardenere once a fortnight & that makes things doable. dd loved nursery (she has just left to start school) & has some lovely friends from there. just make sure you are organised & always do chores in the eve - don't think you'll have time to fit them in before work in the morning!

can you perhaps stagger the start & end of the day for you & dh? dh dropped dd at nursery & i picked her up, this made her time there a little shorter & gave each of us a chance to play with her every day.

'hi' btw. if you have lurked for a while you'll know all the pitfalls to avoid & who will sy what.

I work ft and have a 10mo. Am a single parent but am lucky enough to have excellent childcare (nanny) and I don't really have to commute. I love my job and so far it's working out fine. I guess things will get a little more difficult when dd goes to nursery and there'll be pickups and childhood illnesses to deal with.

Anyway, depending on your circs, it's totally doable and I personally get a lot out of it.

I think the main problems lie when they reach school, but that is a long way away for you. It is just finding someone to do the pickup and drop up offs - but your CM may be able to do this. And playdates after school. I miss being able to chat with other mums in the playground.

I went back to work when dd1 was 3 months (crap maternity leave) and then again when dd2 was 6 months. I am also planning to go back after number 3 is born. It was fine - but you do have to make sacrifices - unless you are very rich. My house is not as tidy/clean as I would like because I choose to spend time playing with my children (reading MN). I have a very good dh who helps with tidying, washing etc. I only cook at w/e because the children and me get a cooked meal for lunch.

Thanks for all this. The job would involve some evening events, breakfast meetings and so on, so might eat into bedtime maybe once a week/fortnight. There would also be some travel. In other words, I might not see him at all some days.

I work full time and have done since ds was 5 months old. He's now nearly 5, and will be going to full-time school in September.

He was in a day nursery for 2 years, and it was great while he was a baby / toddler, but I got disillusioned with it when he came out of the baby / toddler environment, and ended up taking him out of there - and I put him with a childminder - who is absolutely fantastic.

She now does drop off and pick up at his school, so that is fairless uncomplicated.

We had lots of sleep problems with him when he was 3, and that was really difficult in terms of trying to do my job properly when I'd had very little sleep, but we've managed ok when he's been ill - my dh's job is a lot more flexible than mine (I'm a teacher) - so he tends to do more of the 1 off unavoidable care.

I decided I'd go back full-time when pg, but also swore that seeing as I was doing that, I didn't want to spend valuable family time doing the housework - so we have a cleaner to do that, and what's left, dh and I split totally equally.

I'm now pg with dc2, and although I'm taking a longer maternity leave this time (we're more financially secure than when ds was born), I'm going back to work full-time after my maternity leave this time too.

I really love my job, which makes live a lot easier - I can imagine that it'd be more difficult if I didn't!

AuntieTownie - I also have some days when I don't see ds at all - parents' evenings being one occasion ... and that is probably the worst thing. However, ds knows me as a happy, fulfilled mammy, who loves doing all sorts of things with him ... and he also sees an equal partnership where parenting is concerned - as DH has periods where he has to work away from home for a few days at a time - and then I'm there all the time.

agree with ejt. I don't have the option as I don't have a partner so can't do any after-hours work. But I really don't think it's a problem for you. The key is, your son is looked after properly and you find your job rewarding (hopefully).

I work full-time. In my experience, getting good childcare arrangements is key. Not just a primary arrangement, but a reserve arrangement for those days where you really can't just drop everything.

Also I would say that (a) two children is much harder and (b) it gets harder as they get older. The reason it gets harder as they get older is that school finishes at 3pm or thereabouts, so you have to arrange afterschoolcare. Clubs are not especially good for full-time workers unless you can guarantee leaving at a particular time. Then there is homework, afterschool activities, chilling out and bathtime etc to arrange after you have picked up.

Having said all that, you know I think it is great to have an opportunity of doing a job you'll really enjoy. You should do it. If it doesn't fit well with children five years down the line you could always go back to freelancing. Or maybe you will be indispensable by then and be in a position to go part-time.

I will be working full time soon having been doing 2.5/3 days per week since January 2005.

I find myself out of the job and now I am looking I can't see any part time opportunities so I think I will have to go full time and hope that over time I can gradually reduce my hours - bit of a gamble and some may say cheeky but its the best I can hope for. The job I have been offered is a fantastic opportunity and great money etc but I am torn about leaving the children in nursery for 4 full days a week (instead of the 1.5 now).

I have a cleaner blitz the house weekly, I have prepared loads of meals for the freezer and will make an effort to have the best time possible before bedtime and at weekends. I have been told that leaving early once a week to do the school run shouldn't be a problem so that helps me. I am worried about sharing the time between 3 and homework etc for the eldest but feel forced into a position whereby I have no alternative!

For me it will be good in many ways, for the children it won't be so good. Not alot of choice but thats life I guess and you have to make the best of it.