Dh bullied so much had brain haemorrhage

[Treatedlikeamaid]

Help!
Dh accepted a job across country with promises of being on the board in 5 years. ( ha).
In this office, There are two teams each invented different products, led by a manager who didn’t invent, but is pushing one of the products forward.. Dh invented a very good product.
For years it has felt that his boss was trying to scupper dhs project. his boss has been withholding emails, equipment and training. Everything from giving him his 5 year award 2 years too late, to suddenly moving him to a different career stream ( with no new contract or job description).
2 years ago dh found out that 2 years before that, he’d been complained about for getting this managers sidekick round the throat. I believe that at the time I was having chemo, so dh tired and may have been provoked by this chap into being ratty, but no way did this happen.
The stress after hearing this was immense and a month later dh had an aneurysm. His question to the manager was why wasn’t it investigated at the time? The manager said something like he couldn’t as dh hadn’t made a complaint, and apparently someone else had claimed they’d been attacked by dh too. When questioned by dh, this person knew nothing about it.
the rumour reached the board and a talked of promotion suddenly disappeared without explanation.
It’s a year and a half on and he is still being subjected to impossible deadlines, no resources etc. ( though it all looks good on paper)
Last week dh was told his product was one of the 7 the company wanted to push forward with - his manager is insisting his product is too. Though there seems to be some doubt.
Two days later someone in the same office was being told off by a line manager for making a colleague cry when he mentioned dh had got him by the tie too.
When questioned by dh this guy said its was just an anecdote’ and then asked dh if he’d be his line manager as he doesn’t like his. ( what?)
The manager said he knew nothing about it. He said dh should have reported the first incidence so he could have investigated it. Dh said, ‘I informed you and you said you’d known x for 20 years and it doesn’t need investigating’.
Basically it seems 3 people who all sit next to each other and are mates of this manager have said dh attacked them.
In his last apparasisal the manager Told dh that he didn’t want dhs area of speciality in this office. Dh recorded this conversation.
What do we do!
Dh concerned that hr will support manager as he can say waht he likes about dh. In fact the managers manager called dh and said if dh complained, he’d be on the other side of the dock.
It’s a mess!

My god, that sounds horrendous. I'm sorry I have no advice apart from your DH looking for another job which isn't particularly helpful really. I'm sure someone will be along soon with some good advice but I didn't want to read and run.
I'm sorry you're going through this

Thanks live by! That s v supportive of you and appreciated.

Definitely look for a new job!

Is any of this documented? For example, the promise of the place on the board; the 'alleged' assaults and DH denying them; the commitment to take DH's product forward.
Is DH in an union?
He should look for another job but in the meantime he could put a formal complaint in to HR about bullying. If the other colleagues are making unsubstantiated claims about his behaviour then it's bullying. Since he's returned to work after a haemorrhage, there could also be an issue about whether suitable adjustments were made if necessary.

If your DH had an hemorrhage and no adjustments were put in place, or changes to his responsibilities etc, then your DH could have a claim for disability discrimination.

I think he should put in a grievance about bullying and discrimination. Get union support if he has not already.

Thank you. There is no union at his work.

He is going through all his emails etc to see what he can document. The people involved were all in one office today and he said it looked like they were writing an email. They left with lots of smirks and the boss got on the phone straight off. This is so mad - you no longer know what’s relevant and what you are reading too much into.
Thanks for the point about no changes to his responsibilities. He didn’t ask for them as physically he is well ( but tires easily and can’t hold information like he could) and he didn’t want people to think he was making a fuss.but he is now being put under ridiculous deadlines and obviously we are both worried about the stress.

The situation in your DHs office sounds toxic and unprofessional in the extreme.

However from an employment legislation perspective, some things you describe happened many years ago that could not be included in a Tribunal unfortunately because there was no documentation or process wrapped round them that could be built into a cohesive claim.

I would hesitate to accuse your DHs employer of "causing" him to have an aneurysm as there is not direct proof that is the case. The causes of aneurysms are far too complex to put down to one specific set of circumstances in a workplace.

Given your DHs medical circumstances I would not recommend he puts himself through the stress of locking horns with them. He would be better off finding new employment in a better organisation, because if he leaves on his own terms he won't be confronted with them refusing him a reference, nor the fact it sounds likely Management will lock down on him and the situation spiralling out of control at a time he needs calm and less stress.

I recognise it's a bitter pill to swallow but he needs to put himself first, they just won't care about anything other than defending their position.

Whether or not he asked for adjustments is irrelevant. If they knew he had a disability, they should have at least offered adjustments to his role, responsibilities or working environment.

You need to dig out fit notes, emails etc that reference his anerusym as if you did seek legal advice, they are very likely to argue either that he isn't disabled or that they didn't know.

You have several options:

1 - leave, which should be your last resort for financial reasons and because it weakens his position in the event of any claim. constructive dismissal is an option but very hard to win.

2 - see a lawyer, perhaps on a no win no fee basis, for disability discrimination and constructive dismissal if you go down that route.

3 - take sick leave until he finds something else, bearing in mind this could lead to them dismissing him for absence but if disability related (and depression/anxiety are disabilities), this could strengthen the case for discrimination

4 - stay put and job hunt.

5 - submit a formal grievance which could be a long drawn out and stressful process.

I am doing 2,3,4 in my own case (except my lawyer is through a union). I have successfully negotiated the continuation of full pay during my absence by referring to meikle v nottingham council.

Its very stressful but the one thing my lawyer was absolutely clear on is DO NOT QUIT. So take sick leave and job hunt.

sorry, I meant 2,3,4 and 5 in my own case.

Your husband was subject to an investigation at work and it gave him an aneurysm?

Thanks guys.
No hapib, he found out he was supposed to have grabbed someone 2 years after it happened. He was v upset as unfair and asked why it wasn’t investigated at the time. His boss said someone else had said he’d attacked them as well. When dh asked this someone, they knew nothing about it.
The stress of this and of boss being awful ( I think) contributed to illness, but obviously can’t be officially linked. He’s been back at work for a year and same crap happening again. On fri he discovered someone else said he’d grabbed them too. They all sit together and are mates with awful boss. When dh asked this guy, he said it was ‘just an anecdote’ and ‘ he was under pressure from management o make a formal complaint’ ( the attack was supposed to have happened five years ago). He then finished by asking dh to be his line manager as his didn’t understand him.
Totally bizarre. And seriously stressful.
Thanks username, I’m sorry you are going through this. Though am glad you have a union. When dh enquired years ago he was told the company didn’t recognise a union, we were too daft to realise you could join one anyway on your own. Bugger.
He is trying to resolve it peacefully, and talked to hr. ( again) the first time was after his aneurysm. they have given him a different hr person, who gave him a different, lower ringed hr person who he told his story to. But didn’t give him any notes. On Monday he was given a different hr person and told his story again. She gave him her notes of the conversation to check, but as English is her second language, he will have to spend a lot of time correcting them.
Does it sound like he’s getting the run around? We know his boss is mates with someone halfway up hr. I think he should call the head hr person and ask to talk to her. Dh very nervous as he feels his boss is twisting everything, and dh has no say.
Oh this is shite. He just wants to get on with his work which he likes if it wasn’t for this boss.

Also will see if doc can register him as depressed, anxious. He certainly is. Thanks for the tip . Good luck.

Witholding emails can be proven quite easily. IT investigations can usually track back emails from any account for up to 7 years.

Thanks grumpy

All the best op and sorry to hear about your husband.

@username2020 Can you please send me a pm on how you have successfully negotiated the continuation of full pay during absence by referring to meikle v nottingham council? What did you say to your employer?

can't seem to PM you @Honeyjj

basically, I sent a nice but firm email to my employer asking that I continued to be paid my full pay whilst off sick. I asked them to refer to the case of Meikle vs Nottingham council whereby it was found that full pay should have continued as it was only due to the council's failure to put in place reasonable adjustments / resolve the situation that the claimant was off sick. I advised this was very similar to my own situation - I am only off sick because no adjustments are in place.

I finished by saying that continuing my full pay would constitute a 'reasonable adjustment' to the absence management policy and that if I did not receive this, I would have to seek further union / legal advice.

Be aware - they may come back and say they can't make adjustments until you come back to work - that's the argument they are using with me. It is BS but I'm digging my heels in. They know what adjustments I need. There is no reason for them not to organise it before I come back. They are paying me full pay and the longer they take to pull their finger out the longer they pay me full pay (and the bigger hole they dig for themselves)

PS I also referred them to Archibald v Fife Council regarding reasonable adjustment requirements. and Dickens v O2 whereby work related stress triggered the person's disability (anxiety). In my case I am suffering work related stress, due to failure to make adjustments and this has led to me being diagnosed with an additional disability - anxiety.

HTH - I've become very knowledgeable about case law now. Google is your friend.