Bullying at work making me severely depressed

[Tweetypie27]

I work In a male dominated environment there are two other women within my team at work. My manager belittles and bullies me daily I work in a sales position and this is very much the focus of my job getting sales , leads etc.
I work for a multi billion pound company that has different offices in different regions it’s directed at men and their industry. I won’t disclose where I work due to being recognized.
I’ve worked there for over two years the job is fine and the money is ok and I have good hours there hence why I haven’t left.
My boss constantly puts me down and my work he pressurises me constantly and basically takes the piss out of me.
I admit I can make silly mistakes but I put this down the fact I have the manager directly behind me at all times and the assistant manager sat next to me so I’m always on edge it’s like they enjoy when I mess up orders or make mistakes so they can take the piss all day long about it. Over the summer I was really poorly and got signed off for two weeks by my doctor the company policy is you are paid at managers discretion but I know everyone gets paid there when they are ill.
He kept ringing whilst I was off and basically said get back to work or I won’t pay you sick pay. I rang HR about this and asked them to log it off the record as he would force me out if he knew. Since then he’s basically been making me work on my day off without pay because he paid me sick pay I questioned this and he came over to me in my face and intimidated me and said if I didn’t go in next year anytime I am off sick I won’t be paid bearing in my mind I only had two days all year before this because my son was ill.
I feel like my confidence is just gone now I used to feel clever and capable but now I feel like a thicko who can’t do anything right. The other girls are bullied and undermined too and all he ever says it’s a joke it’s banter we’re all mates he isn’t my mate. The male assistant manager does not get spoken to like we do and I k ow the other girls won’t defend me one is up his ass and the other is quiet too. I don’t know what to do I don’t want to leave but I feel physically ill when I am there and shake and feel nervous.
I’m so down about this and he’s good at his job and sales so he’s safe. Any advice welcome

If I had the money I would never go back there but I don’t

For a large company this is unacceptable. Have a look around in the market and also let HR know .. if you don't want to confront then setup a meeting and ask for advice

Is setting up a meeting possible ? It’s difficult because I work next time

Sorry next to him

I would raise a formal grievance OP - if you don't out of fear then it's only going to continue isn't it?

I'm sure sick pay is a statutory right and refusing to pay unless you work on your day off is surely a breach of contract.

You could take sick leave and raise a grievance during your absence if you feel you cannot do it whilst there. If he contacts you repeatedly whilst off sick then that is harassment. You could have grounds for constructive dismissal and possibly sex discrimination as it does not appear the males are treated the same.

You need to document all these incidents with date, time and what he said to you. It may be that you need to do this when you get home every day if he's sitting too close to you during the day. But starting logging everything so it builds up evidence of his behaviour.

Also, try to get things in writing where possible. So if he's insisting you work for free on your day off, follow up any conversation on this with an email "just to confirm our conversation, you've asked me to work this Fri unpaid to make up for you paying me sick pay when I was ill on x date" or similar.

Log everything!

His behaviour is appalling but you need to build your case.

And I know it's not easy given the circumstances, but you have to try and stop making mistakes. Or they can use this against you and say you're underperforming. Have you been there for longer than 2 years?

Also, last question.....did you take a sick day when it was actually your child that was ill? Why didn't you use holiday?

Yes I do stand up to him sometimes and then he will be like oh for God sake who put fifty pence in you or don’t give me an attitude like I’m a child.
My wages were wrong a few months ago he was off at the time and I told the assistant manager and nothing was done so I went above them and emailed my regional manager. He went ballistic when he got back and got me outside and made me cry and I said undermined him I explained he wasn’t there at the time and that I told my assistant and he also lied through his teeth and said I never said word to him.
I was crying and he said don’t you dare you cry..like I cannot show emotion either. It’s a silly situation and I feel helpless to it

I’ve been there over two years now and I did use my sick days as holiday it was January. It’s very hard not to make mistakes because he watches me it’s like being on a driving test and their next to you it’s very suffocating and then he will shout when I’m not fast enough so I’m a nervous wreck. I had a good job before this one and was made redundant and I was really good at my job.

Are you keeping a diary?

Can you get a copy of the complaints procedure from your company - you need to get informed and then you will feel empowered - information is everything

Just because he is 'good at sales' does not make him safe. He could be the best bloody sales person in the world but he is bullying you and needs to be held accountable for his actions. Contact HR, say you feel intimidated by him, tell them what he has done and when and then raise a formal grievance against him. From what you have described, most companies would class it as gross misconduct which is a sackable offence. Don't let this oxygen thief make you miserable.
I used to have a manager like this. She used to be horrible to me but I just used it smile and think 'that's another thing to add to the list that will get you fired'. You should have seen her squirm when the regional manager came in and asked for a 'chat' 😂

Thanks I have been keeping a diary of what is happening with dates and times to back me up. I am just a nervous wreck there the others don’t have it to bad as they sit the other side to him. Sometimes he will say I need a word shit me up then laugh and be like you ent done nothing did I scare ya and laugh he’s so nasty. I wasn’t going to go in today because the depression is really bad now I’m crying most days when I get home. It’s still really

Check your contract and code of conduct. Just because something is at manager's discretion does not allow them to treat staff more (or less) favourably than others. Employment law trumps it all, so check online for rules around sick pay (the statutory minimum isn't great, and I don't think you're entitled to anything for the first three days, but employee contracts can be more generous.)

Just because he's good at sales doesn't mean he'said good at people management.

Omg this sounds horrendous. What an arsehole.
Do you have proof of any of this?
Please raise a formal grievance against this 'man'. Gather proof. Put everything in an email. You def have grounds for constructive dismissal - just need to prove it.
And then resign and get signed off sick. It's awful, I've been there.

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Leave Howdens
ASAP

Well today went very badly he started again over a booking I had not made the booking it was someone else but strayght away he blamed me so I told him he was bullying me and questioned how he speaks to me and the female members of staff. His face dropped to the floor and he said why don’t you just go home. I didn’t go home but he sent me to another department to work for the rest of the day like a child been giving detention. I’m ringing HR again today to log this incident.