Shared parental leave

[jemx]

Hi there,

I wondered if anyone had any success stories of taking shared parental leave?

For background, my partner and I are currently trying for baby #1 but trying to forward plan. My work maternity policy is 14 weeks @ normal pay then 90% or SMP (whichever is lowest) for 25 weeks. It looks like my partner would be entitled to take 8 weeks @ normal pay and 16 weeks @ half pay.

It's a bit mind boggling trying to get my head around it but my understanding is that anything I take would be taken off his leave entitlement and anything he takes would be taken off mine?

It would be impossible to tell you what would leave you financially better off without knowing exactly your two salaries and the exact policies of the two employers and that is too much detail, so I won't attempt to tackle that.

What I would say is that I really encourage you to do shared leave it will have a brilliant positive ongoing impact for many years to come. Without shared leave, it tends to be that the mum is "default parent" for ever, is the only one who "really knows" what the kids need and the dad defers to her and leaves the emotional labor to her even if he is going practical tasks. What is important is that during the time when your partner is taking the leave, they are the one who is properly "in charge" - they are not doing it "for you" and following your instructions as if you are their boss, they are finding their own feet and gaining their own confidence as a fully engaged parent. The benefits last throughout childhood and beyond.

We split the leave with me taking 8 months and DP taking 4. That worked well for us as I was able to 100% breast feed for 6 months then between 6 and 8 months started weaning and by 8 months there was no need for a breast feed during the working day.

@YobaOljazUwaque thank you for sharing your experience. I'm the higher earner so in lots of ways it makes sense for me to return to work earlier but my partner also wants to be as involved as possible so shared parental leave sounds like the perfect solution for us. It's just quite confusing reading up about it!

As far as you're aware, is there scope for us to have time off together or can it only be one of us off at a time? For instance, could I have 3 months off, we both have 3 months off together and then my partner off for last 3 months?

Hi we've done SPL. My work weren't very supportive but when I explained to them the law they backed down.

It worked well. I think we share childcare more naturally now. LO is currently clingy so attached to me like a limpit but most of the time it's shared.

You can have the leave at the same time but the total max is 12 months.

I would suggest being flexible, you don't know how your health will be after the birth so be general on yourself in that respect.

I found going back to work easier knowing I was leaving LO with DH. When we started nursery it was much harder.

Good luck

@cupoftea84 thanks for sharing your experience, I think it's great to be able to share that time for the benefit of everyone if it suits your lifestyle so keen to look further in to it. I know flexibility is important so will try not to forward plan too much!

We’re going to be trying it from January, doing the first three months together then I’m doing the rest. If we were on equal salaries would have liked to do 50/50.