How do you manage someone you dislike?

[adaline]

So I'm the Deputy Manager in a shop - I'm fairly new the role and this is my first management job. I've been doing it for about eight months and have never had anything other than compliments.

I manage a team of eight people, then there's me and my manager above me so it makes 10 in total. I get on with everyone but there's one colleague who just rubs me up the wrong way.

He's in his forties (older than me if that's relevant) and he's generally quite immature and poorly mannered. His personal habits make me cringe (burping, eating with his mouth open) and I don't find them appropriate in work.

I've spoken to him a couple of times but I don't want to make it look like I have some
kind of vendetta against him

HR are in a central location miles away and are next to useless when it comes to things like this. My direct manager knows the situation (other people have complained) but lacks a bit of a backbone and hasn't done anything to solve it.

Does anyone have any advice? We work in the kind of environment where we can't just work separately so avoidance isn't really the answer.

Thanks in advance and sorry it's long!

I had such a huge issue with one member of staff that I handed in my notice and sited them as the reason why.
There are numerous people I’d like to punch in the face on a daily basis.. but professionalism and all that shite.
I am pleasant, smiley but in my head the voices are going barmy..” cunt, you are a cunt, he’s a cunt isn’t he, why are you such a cunt you cunt?”
All the while smiling sweetly and professionally.

Oh yep I'm good at the fake professional smile

Some days I just have to take myself off into the office and organise paperwork so I get a breather to myself - I find him so stressful otherwise

Hopeful bump

I had to have a meeting with this colleague on Monday about failure to complete a task to satisfactory standard. My manager has also spoken to him about similar things in the past.

His attitude stunk which means I found him even more frustrating!

OP, if you're having a meeting about his performance, the other things that annoy you (the way he eats and burps) cannot be brought up, otherwise it will be seen as a vendetta. Leave those for another time. Stick to the performance.

Attitude is one of the most difficult things to tackle. So if there are specific issues with his performance you are better off sticking to those. If necessary you may be able to tackle those formally through a performance management process...

Thank you!

I've never brought his burping or anything up in any kind of formal setting, don't worry! It's just been mentioned in a "ugh, do you have to do that?!" kind of way.

Luckily I've spoken to my manager who is more on my side than he was previously. I'm off on holiday next week, then he's away when I get back, so I'm hoping things improve for a bit!

Go in armed with facts, absolute occasions with evidence where his performance hasn't been satisfactory .
That's factual and not personal and is absolutely the only way to deal with people like this.
Good luck.

Don’t let your manager off the hook I’d say. It’s their job to deal with and manage this and shouldn’t try (if there are trying to) palm it off on you. Deputy manager sounds cool but it’s still deputy. The manager needs to manage