Workplace Mobbing

[Milliemabel]

I was a Target of Workplace Bullying in 2017 and driven out of my employment following 14 years of service.
A new manager was appointed and she seemed to enjoy working with me for first 12 months. She then became friendly with 2 very outspoken, higher grade women and took a step back from me. I wasn't bothered as I she was my manager and I wasn't there to be her 'bestie' which is what I think she wanted.
She managed to turn management against me, management who had previously respected me and told me I was one of the nicest people working in the school...A Catholic High School.
My manager subtly gave me larger quantities of complex work which I got on with.
In Jan 2017, I asked the Business Manager if someone could sit with me to check I was on the correct grade (lowest one equating to minimum wage)
When she saw the list of tasks I was doing she questioned what my manager was doing. Two weeks later I'm moved out of the office because my manager alleges she cannot work in the same room as me, and put in a room on my own not working directly with anyone. The following weeks were filled with accusations, numerous meetings with Head who clearly had me marked as a criminal, accusations that I was mentally ill (manager admitted she'd used Google to diagnose me) which was accepted by HR.
I have been psychologically damaged and suffer with nightmares and flashbacks.
I have been accused of ridiculous things such as I sniff all day, line my pens up on the desk, am aggressive and passive aggressive, have a thunderous face, incompetency issues which noone could tell me about as they were afraid of my reaction. Allegedly I was lied to at my annual reviews.
Governors and HR backed Head who had been poisoned by the 3 women.
I look after my son who has a learning disability. He also worked at the school but had to leave weeks after me as things were too difficult for him.
These women have ultimately destroyed me because of their lies and collusion. (2 of them are frighteningly pastoral officers.)
Has anyone experienced anything like this before please?
I've spent last 2 years trying to get justice. I had to sign a Non Disclosure Agreement and got a paltry pay out.
I want these individuals naming and shaming. I wouldn't join in with their daily 'wind breaking' competitions nor would I mess around to the extent my manager did. I was hard working and we'll liked prior to all this. I cannot comprehend how they could want to destroy a fellow colleague regardless of the consequences. I have a £900 per month income deficit.
I was very dedicated to my job, got immense satisfaction from it and loved going to work.
Has anyone experienced anything like this before please?

If I were you I would focus on the future. What you went through was a horrible and damaging situation not of your making, and those monsters got away with it by paying you a settlement agreement, which as you mentioned includes commitment to not disclose anything.

These toxic situations should never happen but unfortunately they do. You can't change the past but you can move forward, stronger than before. Have you had any counselling? It would be worth talking to your GP and see if you can get support.

when did your son leave?

He didn't sign an NDA did he?

So if you want justice, he could be your route. He could claim discrimination, victimisation, harassment if he was treated differently / bullied because he was your son.

He would have 3 months minus 1 day to do so.

Thankyou for your advice Daisychain01.
I am seeing a Counsellor for now but have been advised I need specialist therapy too. There will undoubtedly be a long waiting list for it though.
I have never experienced anything like this before in my working life and I am 54 with a long employment history.
I have relentlessly researched Mobbing in the Workplace and found that Dr Janice Harper likens collective bullying/mobbing to animalistic behaviour where the group of animals go to any length to destroy, demonise, ostracise and eliminate their perceived prey. They have no guilt regardless of the consequences they cause.
How can people like this lead the impressionable youth of today if they get satisfaction from destroying a fellow human being.

My son left Nov 2017 so it would be too late to go down the tribunal route via him.
I was advised to get him out of the toxic environment ASAP which is what I did.
When I left I could not comprehend why all this was happening when I had been so liked by staff for the past 14 years. It has been harrowing and every day I have the consequences of what they have done to face.
Life has changed dramatically for me and because I am probably one of the most honest people you could meet, I can't accept that my life has been destroyed based on the lies and collusion of 3 vindictive women whom all are practising Catholics.
I have lost complete faith in humanity after what they have done and they are the ones that are still in their jobs playing 'perfect employees'
Where is the justice?

Practising Catholics can be just as evil as anyone else, look at all the sexual abuse claims they covered up. (I'm not suggesting all Catholics are evil, more that a small minority do not live by the moral code that they claim to. They're just as capable of wrongdoing as any other group.)

I'm so sorry for what you have been through. Look into therapy for trauma. Your feelings are entirely valid, but you're not helping yourself by fixating on the past.

God fuck Catholic education. The Archdiocese I worked for were the least Christian organisation I have ever worked for. They persecuted me and used illegal means to make me resign but by that point I was so broken I couldn't even go to the police. They close ranks in the blink of an eye and as we all know, they love a cover up!
I was diagnosed with PTSD from it all.
However, time is a great healer. Get some temp work (easier work than you were doing before is great because it doesn't require your full mental capacity and gives you time to heal). Rebuild your self-esteem and your reputation and prove the bastards wrong.... that's what I did

I am happy to share my experience. Sounds similar. PM me.

JanetandJohn500
I can definitely relate to the closing ranks. It was absolutely unbelievable and the more I tried to defended myself at the many meetings I had to go to the worse things got. And the bare faced lies that were told too. Things that were said to me and then later completely denied.
The issue with getting a job is that I have a son with an. LD and now care for my parents. I don't think I could deal with more rejection and I would constantly be looking over my shoulder waiting for it to happen again. I have massive trust issues now.

I couldn't agree more about trust issues but I promise that this does improve with time. It's been 3 years for me now and I've worked with some fantastic people in the interim. I don't believe in fate but I would never have applied for the job I have today if they hadn't been so awful to me and I totally love my job (and I'm amazing at it 😉)It's in education and the same broad area so I did face some judgement (from Catholics 🙄 at first) but now I've proved myself, they've all gone back into their boxes 😂
The bastards nearly broke me but now I tell people my story and then I prove them wrong time and again. Fuck 'em, that's what I say 😂😂😂

How you have battled through despite these people is an absolute credit to you.
My experience started Jan 2017 and its knocked me sideways. I've picked myself up from previous traumas in life but this has finished me off on so many levels.

PM me and if you're close by, I'll happily meet you and you can tell me all about it.
Believe me, I wallowed in self-pity for a while and I don't think the bitterness will ever leave me but you have to move forward if only to prove the bastards wrong.
Now, I do my job and deal with their schools and often think they must hate the level of influence I have in their schools.... it spurs me on 😂

Not much advice but lots of 💐💐💐

Sounds horrendous for both of you. In all likelihood they’ve done it before and will have moved on to someone else now because that’s what bullies do.
I have also found HR can be complicite in these situations, as they feel it solidifies their own professional standing with the key players. I have also found this sort of thing a lot more prevalent in schools but that’s just my experience. Poor you but I’m glad you’re away from them. I’d recommend a bit of temping if it will fit in with your caring responsiblities. You need to put some distance between yourself and that ordeal.

NoProblem123. Thankyou so much for your kind words and flowers. They were so thoughtful and really appreciated 🙂
Yes it's been a harrowing two and a half years with what they did, trying to defend myself whilst they swiftly closed ranks and and made out that I was unmanageable, incompetent and that they were the heroes having tolerated me. As you can imagine they were relentless. HR and Governors were on the Heads side. I had no chance but I didn't know that at the time. I naively thought that once they knew what these 3 women were doing they'd take action against then. How wrong could I have been.
From the outset he'd decided I was going and gave the green flag for these 3 to drive me out simply by not stopping what was going on.
Moving on has been impossible. I live 10 mins(approx) from school. Just seeing the pupils in the area rips me apart because they were wonderful and I just loved their enthusiasm for life and quirky outlook on things.
Thankyou everyone for your very supportive words which I'm truly grateful to you all for because you have shown me there are still genuinely nice people out there.

Thankyou all xx

I have been the victim of group mentality, but nowhere near as bad as you. I have lost self esteem and confidence and somehow I've been offered a new job. I said yes, I wouldn't have applied for the job as I've lost confidence but I'm hoping as a JanetandJohn said - it leads to something better.

I'm also genuine and honest and have no interest in gossip/backstabbing/two faced etc etc and just want to get the job done. I indulge in gossip to make myself feel better and can't be two faced as I would feel bad.

I don't understand why this has happened to me and I'm hoping I can find a lesson in this. Maybe there isn't, maybe this is about the other person , google narcissistic people. Perhaps your experiences were to narcissistic people - they are incredibly charming believable people who have no empathy or morals.

Mums1234
Thanks for getting in touch. These women knew that I was a lone parent and that the job at the school was perfect for me. If I got another job, if I was able to rise above what they'd done, I'd have to involve care agency and very likely work weekends/nights as I'd be looking at around minimum wage. They've just really stuffed me and no doubt will never give me a second thought. If I had no responsibilities, I'd probably find strength from somewhere to get a job in a craft shop or something similar but it's just not feasible. I've been really screwed by them :(

@Milliemabel don't give them the satisfaction of you being their victim. You can't change the past, even though it was 2 years ago, it may still feel very recent to you.

Use the counselling service to your best advantage, they are there to support you. You sound like you're emotionally "stuck" and need some small change to happen, to move your situation forward.

You've done your research, you can at least rationalise what happened (that it is a phenomenon that occurs in nature, and hence is likely to happen in human behaviour too). You potentially have well over a decade of active working life still to come, that's plenty of time to rebuild and reinvent yourself.

Take things one step at a time so you don't get overwhelmed by change. Hopefully - bad though it was - you can use your experiences to make you stronger and more resilient than before.

Thankyou daisychain01
You're exactly right. I don't want to be their victim and I need to accept that I am far stronger than any of them when I think of my daily responsibilities and the past traumas I've come back from.
They just 'talk the talk' and 'play the game' around the right people and stand on anyone that gets in their way.
I'm not that kind of person nor would ever want to be.
I will definitely hold on closely to your words of encouragement whilst slowly starting to rebuild and reinvent myself. Thankyou so much. Xx

There's really nothing you can do.

You signed a settlement agreement and took a pay off.

You could have gone to a tribunal if you wanted some action taken against them but a settlement agreement means you agreed not to do that.

If you start 'naming and shaming' you risk your employer suing you for breaking the agreement and having to pay back your pay off and those you are naming and shaming also taking legal action.

Further it doesn't look good to future employers to be slagging off your old one.

Best thing would be to get some counselling to help you put it genuine you and start focusing on the future.

reginafelangee
Yes I agree I signed the agreement but at the time was like a rabbit in headlights, having no clue that Mobbing even existed and that I was aTarget of it.
I had no other option, I was forced to sign, and it was a paltry amount. This is what I struggle with that the employer can do and say whatever they want based on the lies of others and I'm the one that has to withstand the lies, insults, lifechanges and income deficit. If I say or do anything to 'out' their abhorrent behaviour its me that suffers yet again. There is no justice whatsoever.

I read about workplace mobbing as you suggested and realised this happened to me too. I was told I complain too much and that I'm the problem etc etc

However, I'm lucky as witnesses came forward and told the truth which is a huge relief and the director apologised to me.

" They just 'talk the talk' and 'play the game' around the right people and stand on anyone that gets in their way.
I'm not that kind of person nor would ever want to be."

I completely agree with you and I'm the same. I'm not interested in office politics and it has made me question whether I'm suited to office work. I hope my next job will be better

The witnesses that came wrote to the governors in support of me were completely ignored :(
It was confirmed that their concerns were received but presumably the Head instructed for no reply to be sent. I have never experienced people wanting to destroy me before. That in itself is horrific yet to be accused as the perpetrator whilst the perpetrators are in full attack is beyond mental pain that I could ever describe.