Future References

[Angel1969]

Hi lovelies, I left a job after 14 years in January for a new job, but the new job did not work out. I ended up having a nervous breakdown due to stress and I have an autistic son that causes me alot of stress. After a few months I got better and I contacted my old job. They let me return. I did a week but at the weekend I had a massive depressive episode and could not function. I got a sick note and sent an email saying I have to resign as my mental health is not good. I have heard nothing back even from HR. I did everything properly and I know they are angry,I did 14 years of good work but this year has been so difficult. I am so anxious about future references as I am 45 and worked there for a long time. I am not ready to work at all but its just playing on my mind getting no response.

How long ago did you resign? Who did you send your email to? Have you contacted anyone to check it was actually received? Have you had a P45 or anything like that?

Sorry for all the questions!

Hi thanks for response. I went back first week in September. I phoned in sick on the following Monday and then got a sick note and told boss I had to resign due to ill health and my son. I had sick note for my notice. I followed up email to the HR lady , I got no responses. I wish I never went back as I left on good terms back in January 😢. But depression is really swallowing me up so I just want to get well.

Focus on getting well, then make contact and apologise for the position you left them in.

As things stand, a reference may well state that you are unreliable, or that you returned and promptly resigned. A reference can be bad as long as it is honest. I'm sure they'll be more understanding when you are able to explain the situation fully.

I explained my son who has autism had serious issues (which is true he was suicidal)and smashed his hand as he nightmare falling out of bed. So I decided I need to be a carer and I apologised loads but still no response 😢