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How to boost confidence for new job- after bullying, ostracism and threats!

6 replies

Mums1234 · 29/09/2019 09:58

Hi, I have a new job and serving my notice period.

The past year my confidence and self esteem has been shattered due to work. Several witnesses have come forward and told me:

It wasn't nice, I'd leave the room and I would be badmouthed
It was a group mentality
They had votes on whether they liked me- only one person said they did
One person would tell the group every time I sent her an email- (I was doing my job according to the witness)

I have been excluded from:
Christmas party
Leaving parties
Other celebrations
Locked in work- four times this year
Not acknowledged in building
Excluded from training and access to systems etc etc
Sworn at
Overworked- recently worked 12 days solid
6 day week not unusual- worked 8am to 7pm etc etc
forgotten about daily for tea rounds

It is only a small company- less than 12 employees so it has been awful, badly affected my self esteem and confidence.

However, I have been offered a wonderful opportunity, a step up, training and pay rise.

How can I boost my confidence? I feel anxious about the role, as everybody would but I do know I'm capable. But my personal confidence has taken a nose dive- a whole year of being undervalued has left me feeling miserable and whilst a new job will be a breath of fresh air, I feel like a different person to when I started this job.

The positives from this awful situation are that my gut feeling was right, I wasn't being paranoid.

Why has this happened to me? I think it's because I'm a hard worker and don't get involved with gossip. Being on a separate floor made me vulnerable. What else?

How can I boost my confidence as I can't take a break between jobs. (I won't be allowed leave as I'm training someone) and there is backlog in new job already, they wanted immediate start.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 29/09/2019 10:03

So is the new job a promotion within the same company or a job with a new company?

Mums1234 · 29/09/2019 10:10

No, a new company.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 29/09/2019 11:12

Try to make sure you're based with your new colleagues so that they don't feel you're set apart, and being treated more favourably. I think it's easier for people to forget about you (or pretend to) if you're not there with them on a daily basis.

Try to do as much research as possible about the new company and the new job, as you can.

Accept that this is a massive compliment, to be given a new job on more pay, a step up, training and more money. Well done, pat on the back,. If it really gets too bad working your notice, consider taking sick leave?

Windygate · 29/09/2019 11:23

Onwards and upwards. You were the person selected for this wonderful fresh start. Leave the past behind and make the most of the new opportunity.

NoProblem123 · 29/09/2019 18:52

Well done on your new job !

No advice other than don’t look back x

Likethebattle · 29/09/2019 19:30

Count down the days, watch your back and remember it is coming to an end and you didn’t deserve the treatment you got.

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