Should I take the job?

[Alenia45]

I won't give too much details as I don't want to be found out but am really confused about what to do. As it's just me as a single mum the kids aren't exactly great people to ask advice from.

For a few weeks now I've done freelance work for a company as the kids have been on school holiday, I desperately needed to earn money but had to work round them and to be honest I was really enjoying it. It was linked to what I am studying at uni and partly what I've wanted to do since I was little. It would work round uni too, so was perfect.

Yesterday I went in to meet the directors but instead they offered me a contract. The MD said they were a family based company, loved what I was doing and wanted to recruit me before my studies ended so I could progress onwards after next June. He said I could do the 16 hours a week I needed, half in the office and half at home out of hours as I've been doing. He asked what I thought and I said it was an absolute dream, I was so happy I was being recognised. This morning he even emailed to say that he could see me fitting in well and going far. Being close to 40 and a single mum this is truly the dream job.

But this afternoon I had an email from who will be my boss, saying that I'll need to be in the office two full days a week, meaning I would need after school child care. I'm barely affording childcare for the days im in uni 😞. The wage is minimum wage too, so after childcare I'd be looking at £5.66 an hour with less flexibility for getting my studying done.

Question is, if this went full time it would be a great job for me that uses my degree without having to do the 2 years on the job training to become fully qualified (as I wouldn't need to be fully qualified, but the work area is the same). But I could hold out for a job with training to be fully qualified and earn quite a bit more in a trainee role, but to be honest I don't know if I want the full job the training brings.

I'm so upset, it felt like my luck had finally turned and I'd found something that worked with the children and uni.

I am confused why you are doing a university degree to end up in a minimum wage job when you have the qualifications to be a higher earner?

Negotiate for exactly what you want & nothing else!!
You only have negotiation power before you sign a contract. Don't waste this.

Ukgift - training contracts are hard to find, and being a single almost 4 year old mum to three children I worry may put me to the bottom of the pile

Go back to the MD and ask for clarification as they said you could do what you're doing now but the person who is going to be your boss said you cant, ask them to clarify and cc in the new boss if necessary, I would.

I would email back saying the directors said only 8 hours in the office what has changed?

Presumably you could do 2 x school days in the office that would be more than 8 hours?

How many hours a week do they want you to work? Can you negotiate the same number of hours but a different work pattern; like 3 shorter days in the office that fit in with school hours and the rest of time from home spread over 1-2 days?

If you’re still studying and if this job doesn’t offer the training contract then you could always leave after you graduate- presumably having this work experience will look good on your CV even if you don’t stay there long time and the other bonus is that you’re earning money in the meantime.

I would definitely see if they’re open to flexible working hours and see if you can negotiate something. Good luck!

I'm in uni two full days a week plus an average of 30 hours study time needed, which is not easy when the children are home after school and with after school clubs etc.. Their dad has them every other weekend which is when I have some me time and a bit of study (I'd go mad without it).

So I've said that ideally I was looking for 10-16 hours a week (which the freelance stuff was doing perfectly but obviously not consistent). Doing two days in the office 9-5, means id be paying an extra £44 a week in childcare costs, when I'd be earning £130 odd. So I'd be taking home £86 a week, missing time with my children after school and they'd have to drop two clubs. I can cope with doing study late into the night, I'd have to anyway, but it doesn't seem worth it other than it MAY lead to a job I thoroughly enjoy for a bit better money. But like I said, how many companies want to take on an old graduate with no support for childcare.

Could you not offer to do 3 short days in the office so you don't incur childcare costs?

I’d be honest, and respond firstly querying why they’ve changed their minds on where you can work from, and explain that due to child care you would need to work xxx hours xxx days etc. I wouldn’t personally word it as you’re demanding it, just lay out your position and go from there.

Congratulations on the job offer by the way, and best of luck with your studies!

Thank you all, I'll try and word a letter saying that i would struggle with the hours and pay as it is. Ideally I'd like to do around 6 hours that are "out of hours" as I can do it either before the kids wake up or when they've gone to bed.

I think at the moment I'm struggling for confidence. I know you shouldnt listen to all these mum's on Facebook who try to say that women should be confident and be yourself etc, but one recently stuck with me saying that just because you are mum with stretch marks, etc, it doesn't mean you should settle. I'm now worried that I'm settling. I have a lovely boyfriend but we have our issues and I'm questioning everything. Should I hold out for someone who spoils me and is the same level as me intellectually and culturally? Will anyone actually want me? 3 kids is a lot of baggage.

I really wouldn't say you would struggle with what they are now offering. I would say that you were offered 'x' by the directors and that is what you have accepted - not the hours that the manager is now saying.

Ask that they clarify; as the new conditions don't work and you are unable to accept but you would be happy to meet up to see if a compromise could be reached. Make sure everyone (as in directors as well as manager is copied in). They want you and will be prepared to make compromises - and if they really aren't then it isn't the company you thought or one that would be good to work for.

Bear in mind that you weren't expecting this offer so are no worse of if it falls through

It's true but I was expecting the freelance work to continue which was working out slightly less hours but spread over 5 days whenever I could fit it round the children and only slightly less than they're offering on contract. I'd rather stay doing the freelance but they made it clear they wanted some at least core hours in the office and to be travelling to some events round the country. The events would be very interesting and I would certainly meet some very influential people in the industry.

I think if I asked if I could carry on the freelance they would say no

No talk of struggling in your response. Just say no, that won't work for you and clearly and politely state what hours will work and ask if that would be acceptable to them.