Can’t get over not getting job

[Rainatnight]

I have wanted to leave my job for some time now and move into a related sector.

Earlier this year I saw a job advertised in that sector that was a great match for my skill set, despite it usually feeling very confident about these things, and working on something I feel hugely passionate about.

I invested a lot in the (very intensive and demanding) recruitment process and got down to the last couple of people. But on the day of the final interview, I didn’t have a great day and didn't do a great interview. Didn’t get the job.

All very normal. BUT I’m having massive difficulty getting over it. I think about it every day, and really regret not doing better on the day. I also feel a weird sense of shame about not doing better.

I’m reasonably senior in what I do and I’m taken aback by these feelings. I know I ought to just chalk it up to experience, but in some way it feels like a loss or like I’ve been dumped or something.

(So as not to dripfeed, an episode of depression kicked off not long before the final interview, which I think is why I wasn’t at my best. So I’m sure part of it is a certain amount of self-blame for being depressed. But it seems bigger than that).

Does anyone have any wise thoughts or advice?

Thank you.

I'm so sorry, Rainatnight. It was disappointing for you but very often there are two or more candidates suitable for a job and someone has to be disappointed. I'm sure they liked you and thought you were good but obviously you weren't the only one.

There will be other job opportunities. Who knows, it's possible the chosen candidate doesn't work out and you will be approached to reapply, how cool would that be (happened to me once). That's just a thought though. Carry on looking, something will turn up.

I think it is probably your depression talking.

In case it isn't... I recently got a job. When I told people I was leaving my current job someone in the same field said she'd applied for the same job, not got it and felt really unhappy. Her feedback was that she would have got the job if it wasn't for the very last candidate, me.

When she heard I got the job she said she felt very relieved because it wasn't about HER it was about me. I have decades of experience and it's my absolute dream job, could have been written for me.

It's not YOU. Someone else just ticked more boxes. That's all. You're still great!

As @MrsTerryPratchett says it is very often not about you it is that the person who they did employ is a better fit. This could be skill wise, but it could be a personality fit with the existing team.