Can’t cope anymore

[akmum18]

I don’t want to give too much away as it’s very outing but I’m mentally drained and need some advice. I had worked for my employer for several years, in a non senior managerial role, but recently they went bust and a new company took over. All the staff were offered to stay on with the same contracts and pay but only a few of us did as we didn’t have other jobs to go to, which meant a lot of brand new staff members too. they have made some sudden huge changes that I’m finding hard to adjust to. I haven’t been given any training or had anyone speak to me about the changes I was just expected to know everything, and any time I have attempted to do things ‘the old way’ I am reminded it’s wrong (by new untrained staff), and spoken to as if I haven’t worked there before which is patronising and hurtful as I was in charge for 2 years so I know the place like the back of my hand.
My job role has changed significantly and they expect more of me to the point of actually being in a higher position to what they are labelling and paying me for. When challenged they say that’s how their company does it. I feel undermined when I query anything and made to feel like a naughty school girl if I need help or for something to be explained.
My main issue is that I don’t do well with change and after these past 2 weeks I dread work every day and feel myself becoming withdrawn when I loved work with my old company. I don’t have chats with the staff I was once close to because even the dynamics have changed and I feel miserable at the new tasks I have to do which aren’t scheduled fairly and equally at all.
Ive resorted to faking needing the loo just so I could get away from my co workers for a bit. Some people have noticed and keep asking what’s wrong but I feel silly admitting how I feel so pretend I have a headache.
Now, my replacement for my old role is very bossy and has made statements such as ‘this is my now I’m in charge so you’ll do what I need you to’ with a smile on her face as if butter wouldn’t melt and I’ve never been in a situation to say it but I do feel like I hate her immensely which makes me bitter as I’ve essentially been demoted without being told and now belittled by her rather than just working nicely together as adults should, comments like that are unnecessary and spiteful and I’m not sure what she is gaining from it when she already has my job.
I’m exhausted and been made to work overtime which has cost me fines for late pickup at school all in the name of ‘training’ which they say isn’t their problem.
I know I will be told to find a new job and I have searched constantly but nothing in my area comes up often so i am very lucky to have a job with the hours and school holidays that most mums are desperate for. I’m a single parent with no childcare options or family so I am pretty much trapped. Deep down I know I should be grateful I have a job like that and force myself to get on with it, but I feel so unhappy and life really is too short. I don’t like the way the new company work and I seem to be the only one who isn’t gazing at them all like the sun shines out their arses. I don’t feel confident enough to speak to HR or a union as I’m pretty sure it’s only me that hates these changes so I’ll be seen as the one they need to get rid of.
Any advice would help a lot I know I’m being petty and sulky but I can’t help how I feel and I’m stuck with these people from 7-2 with no one to open up to.

@akmum18 I'll give you a few thoughts and ideas - on the basis you aren't in a position to change to a new employer, so there's no point me giving that option:

I haven’t been given any training or had anyone speak to me about the changes

It's absolutely encumbent on your management to give you and the team training in the new ways of working - You cannot be expected to struggle on like this indefinitely:

I was just expected to know everything, and any time I have attempted to do things ‘the old way’ I am reminded it’s wrong (by new untrained staff).

It's impossible to have a harmonious and supportive workplace when you're all having to guess the right way. You'd be a lot more productive and united, with the proper training. You need to put pressure on them to sort it out.

The team is struggling with stress which is clear from your comment
and spoken to as if I haven’t worked there before which is patronising and hurtful as I was in charge for 2 years so I know the place like the back of my hand

That person is new, you've been there ages, but you all need to work aligned to the new process. If you can get the team together and put in a collective request, it will not only build bridges (solidarity and all that), but it will get you the result quicker (united we stand approach)

'this is my now I’m in charge so you’ll do what I need you to’ with a smile on her face as if butter wouldn’t melt

Without clear direction, and allocated roles/responsibilities, it will be like the Wild West with self-elective Prima Donnas chancing their luck by bossing you about when they don't have the authority. The quicker you can highlight this to management the better.

I don’t feel confident enough to speak to HR or a union as I’m pretty sure it’s only me that hates these changes. If you're in a Union, you pay your subs so they can support you and represent your interests to management. If your job is important, it's in your best interests to seek advice from your Union, they will support you, especially about the above things I've highlighted that management are currently falling way short of their obligations. Your Union could be your best friend in this!

Thank you for your reply, I really needed to hear a mature sensible break down of the situation. I understand what you’re saying and it does make sense that everyone’s perhaps a bit unsure of themselves and also each other at this point. I just feel I’m no longer suitable for the role with all the added jobs and pressures that i never had previously, it’s not what I agreed to nor warned about before the change over. I think it’s a shock to the system how much change can happen so suddenly which I wasn’t prepared for and it’s all hit me at once. I will have a think about what would improve how I feel and consider speaking to a manager so they’re aware, thank you.

Were you and your colleagues TUPEd across? If so, the incoming organisation have a contractual obligation to communicate with staff and it sounds like that process was non-existent in your case.

Although your perception is that everything happened suddenly, in reality there are always discussions happening behind the scenes for sometime beforehand, so it's worth mentioning this to your Union. What were they doing all this time ?! The Union is meant to be the intermediary representing the best interests of their members.

Outgoing and incoming companies have an obligation, i should have said

Thanks for your reply, sorry for the delay replying, we were TUPED yes, things are still the same and badly organised which has caused a lot of tension amongst us all and people are falling out over it. My feelings have got worse and I hate it more than I did the day I posted this. Still desperately looking for a new job but meanwhile I am being spoken to appallingly and expected to accept it and being used as the scapegoat. I feel like a stranger in a place I have worked in for years and it’s very difficult. Union won’t do anything unless I have a specific complaint which is hard to pinpoint this early on.
Anyone else been in this situation and it did eventually improve or is it unlikely my feelings will change even if there are improvements?