Sahm going back to work

[Rachregan27]

Hi just want to ask everyone for there opinion on this please.
Right I have a 1 year old I have I am going back to work (12 hours a week) been offered a job in the nhs and the hours are 5-7:30pm as we can't afford to live off one wage, I don't think my partners happy about my choices has he his always used getting in from work to tea been made or in the process and a tidy house, then bathing baby etc you know how it goes, he's said that when I go to work I should make tea before I go to work and do all the house work and carry on as like a sahm doing all the housework etc before and afterward work ? But if I'm contributing to my family should he at least meet me in the middle with SOME things instead of sat there been on his phone and always smoking the e-cigarettes outside and leaving me to do everything, I ask him to do if couple of things in the house and he gets the ass on only to empt the bin and take the bins out, am I been harsh on him to be asking to help out a little bit when I go back to work?

Are you joking?!

You're only working 12 hours so I would be expecting you to pretty much carry on as usual. He will presumably be home with the baby whilst you're at work? Surely you can share the cooking as it would be nice for you to come home to him having cooked. Wouldn't you be cooking for the baby anyway so you can just make more and eat before work? You'll be starving afterwards otherwise. It sounds like you want more equality which is fair enough but then you need to be prepared to work more hours and he needs to be prepared to share the cost of childcare.

Sorry just to add, most dps would still be doing bits and bobs like taking the bins out even with a SAHP.

I think you know the answer OP. I’m back at work now but was a SAHM for just over a year - I definitely didn’t have ‘tea on the table’ everyday DH and I still took turns to cook, and divided the household chores. Just because you’re looking after a baby during the day it doesn’t mean you need to be in change of all the cooking and housework too. No wonder he’s getting arsy about you going back to work, he’s had a very generous deal up until now.

I'll still be doing my normal routine but cleaning and looking after baby through the day, I just want him to help out instead of moaning at me all time, I left my last job because he was moaning that he had to look after baby when I went to work in the evening and scared it's going to be the same again, he don't like my hours of work because he can't go to the gym and he has to watch baby until I get home

I will still clean my home clean and take baby out as normal I'm just getting the impression that he still thinks I'm going to make him tea every evening and doing everything I normally would, I may not have time sometimes, I just want him to help out here and here without moaning at me, but then he complains we never have any money. And it'd be nice for him to cook sometimes so I can get things do, but unfortunately a lot of things are left to me.

He should be doing his fair share, so childcare and everything that goes with it whilst you're working and 50/50 at weekend unless he's working weekends.

I don't expect 50/50 off him because of my hours I just expect him to shut up n get on with it like I have to (with baby & make his own tea sometimes), money's not going to grow on trees c