I'm being bullied at work (pregnant)

[Moomin8]

I'm pretty sure I'm being bullied at work. I am not sure why or how.

Basically my boss told me that it's unlikely I'll pass probation next month because I apparently went home one Saturday (when she wasn't there) leaving everyone else to clean up and didn't say goodbye to anyone. I told her this is an absolute lie (which it is - I never ever leave until someone tells me I can leave). I asked her to substantiate this accusation with dates and facts and she refused, then backtracked having initially said that other employees had made a formal complaint about me but I was not to discuss it with any of them and she doesn't want to talk about it again.

I should add here that I have an excellent work record. At my last job, I was voted employee of the month in the first month, I scored 100% by a mystery shopper and I won various awards and prizes.

Other important information here is that 1. I'm currently pregnant and 2. I have Aspergers which I have told my boss about.

Other things she said to me;

A few weeks ago she told me I'm rushing around too much, now I'm apparently too slow.

I appear to be anxious all the time and I'm making other staff anxious

She told me I need retraining in all my treatments except one (which my doctor said I should cut down on). When I asked her what I needed retraining in she wouldn't tell me until I saw her face to face and when I did see her she said that actually all my treatments are fine and the issue is that I seem anxious.

She said that this morning I was standing around when I came to work - I wasn't I was cleaning the loos

She complained a couple of weeks ago that I'm not talking to any of my coworkers enough then when I do talk to them I was not doing anything productive (we were both doing laundry together)

When talking to me, she said that maybe my Aspergers is causing everyone to misunderstand me

I get told spurious stories about how after I did a treatment, she phoned the client to ask if they enjoyed the treatment and they said no because I had spent too long speaking to them about how they wanted me to manicure a broken nail. I find this story unlikely. The client in question tipped me afterwards but her answer to this was that some people tip even if they were unhappy with a treatment.

I have very fragile mental health, I'm pregnant and very out of breath all the time and I certainly don't need any of this.

I need to resign as this will break me but the question is, when? My doctor has signed me off with work related stress. As far as I'm concerned she's willing to make up any lie so I don't pass probation.

I have asked her to put her concerns about my work in an email .... she hasn't.

"The only things she can't do is terminate because of disability or pregnancy and the onus would be on you to prove that that's why she terminated. That's very difficult when it's your word against hers."

To be clear, though, that's the civil burden of proof, which means that the tribunal would only need to be 51% convinced that the reasons were discriminatory.

Am I right I'm saying though that even if I did go to an employment tribunal, it would be likely to damage my chances of getting future jobs since I would be viewed as potentially litigious?

But the facts are, that she has refused to give concrete reasons why I would fail probation

She doesn't need to until you do fail. She can raise performance issues before then as she is now. The fact she may not be handling them right, only makes her a shit manager, it doesn't make her discriminatory.

And would it damage your ability to get potential future jobs. Yes of course if they were aware and you lost. If you won, I don't think so. Winning validates your actions. But if you lost, then yes, absolutely, you look like a poorly performing difficult unreliable vindictive employee.

@Bluntness100 I have to object to some of the points you are making. I presume you are posting your personal opinion and are not doing it on the basis of expertise, if so it's fairer if you clarify as such.

So no, I'm sorry, she doesn't need a better reason. If you weren't on orobabtion or had done the two years it would be very different, but if I was you I'd assume I'd failed probation and she will give a reason that is nothing to do with your disability or your pregnancy.

If you weren't on orobabtion or had done the two years it would be very different. No! You clearly do not know the difference between probation and completion of 2 years continuous employment. Probation is a non-statutory mechanism put in place by employers to provide a trial period, but it holds no statutory significance. 2 years is the statutory time marker that earns full employment rights. Discrimination protections start from Day 1 so neither probation nor 2 year statutory are relevant.

she will give a reason that is nothing to do with your disability or your pregnancy.

Well she has struggled to give any viable reason so far, so that's not good enough. Given that probation is meant to be when concerns are raised in a fair, timely and transparent way to enable the employee to focus attention on aspects of their performance, I'm struggling to understand how you can brush that aside and tell @Moomin8 that it's tough, the manager can ride roughshod over a person who, despite 2 declared protected characteristics, has done everything possible to comply with their side of the employment contract.

As regards the details of Tribunal case, it isn't a problem @Moomin8 needs to worry about. it is possible to ensure the facts never reach the public domain, under GDPR, plus a prospective candidate does not need to disclose anything to their future employer at any point in time, so they never become aware of it to make any judgement.

It's also worth noting that none of what she says adds up. She has put me on training courses where the trainers of those companies have praised me highly to her. She doesn't dispute this either. In my job directly before this one I won awards for my work and received 100% client satisfaction when I was mystery shopped. I also work late to make sure everything is clean and tidy. She must know full well that this is the case.

Daisy, I'm not sure what you're on about, but I clearly said "or" I did not say they two were the same. I fully understand the difference between probabtion and two years. You do understand that when someone writes "or" it does not indicate that they think both are the same? Your post indicates you're confused on this.

Op. Look. Bottom line is she cannot discriminate against you. She can end your employment for any reason other than discrimination. She can say for example she feels your work was not up to standard.she didn't feel you fit in, whatever, and she can do this at rhe end of probabation. The onus would then be on you to take this further and prove she was discriminatory.

My personal opinion is you will struggle to do this. Other employees may back her up. Bottom line is you're not in a cut and dried situation here. Because you've worked there such a short time.

Pregnancy and disability means simply they cannot get rid of you or penalise you for these reasons. It doesn't give you further protection during probation that other employees don't have. On that your employment can be terminated if she simply feels you're not suitable for the role.

Has she actually mentioned she wants your training costs back? Personally I'd not be going to war with her in case she does this, as it could get messy.

Acas have advised me that she's unlikely to be successful in arguing that I should be liable for training costs because she's never given me any document with costs for specific training or asked me to sign a contract in line with this.

Then I think you're ok op. It's really just about her paying what she owes, then you can move on.

She can say for example she feels your work was not up to standard. She can't say you don't fit it

How is it not discrimination to say that someone doesn't fit in when they have autism?

Surely she would need evidence to back up claims that my work is not up to scratch. To date she has provided none (because there isn't any) . She would surely need to look like she has approached the probation period in good faith which would include saying;

'Your treatments are not up to standard and they need to be like X. You will have X weeks to reach this standard otherwise you may fail probation'

I've still not received any payslips either. It seems odd to me that someone would run a business and not provide payslips. What could the reason for this be? Tax avoidance?

How is it not discrimination to say that someone doesn't fit in when they have autism?

I think you're stretching it here, I really do. Unless she says you don't fit in because of autism, she can simply say you don't fit in and it's non disability related.

I've no clue why she's not provided pay slips, but she says she's sorting this.

Clearly the whole things been a disaster from the start, for reasons out with your or her control, and there is a personality clash. She should pay you what she owes you and you both go on your ways. Do not put her down on your cv as you don't want her providing a reference.

Obviously not, no.

A personality clash is not a valid reason to make up lies about an employee who has tried their best. I hope you're not trying to make excuses for this @Bluntness100 ?

Clearly the whole things been a disaster from the start

No. Firstly, she came after me asking me to please reconsider taking up her job offer (my current job had tried to get me to stay).

Then, as I said earlier, she was all sweetness and light until I said the doctor had put me off massage.

I've had advice from a professional who says I have a reasonably good case for tribunal wrt discrimination and non payment of wages. I still have no payslip. That in itself will look really bad for her as she's admitted they haven't yet been done.

I won't necessarily go down that route because of the stress involved to me an unborn baby but it's useful for anyone else in my situation to know this.

@Moomin8 it's good you have taken some objective advice. I know you've got lots on your plate atm, but just a couple of things to highlight

1. You have 3 months less 1 day to lodge a Tribunal Claim (online Form ET1) which is timed from the last misdemeanour. So if this is ongoing, then it stands in your favour as it buys you some additional time.

1. You would need to have submitted a grievance to your employer as soon as possible outlining all the points you've made on this thread. Your manager will have to respond to you stating whether she upholds your grievance.

You may decide to walk away from the whole thing, which would be very understandable but do take advice from an employment solicitor if you feel you want to take it forward. If you have legal protection as part of your household or car insurance they are worth contacting as you may get all costs covered if it's a strong enough case (must stand more that 51% chance of success to qualify.)

Thanks for your advice @daisychain01

Tbh I just want to be away from the whole place and it's toxic energy. I do now at least have my wage slips so it should be simpler to be able to get what I owe and never look back.

Just wanted to add an update - I've been offered another job elsewhere without even looking :) this episode has knocked my confidence but hopefully I'll be able to move past this.

Very pleased for you - enjoy!