Possible sexual harassment at work

[OrangeGirl1]

Need some advice.

I'm quite new in my job, and I'm pretty sure what's happening to me at the moment can be classed as sexual harassment or something along those lines. Problem is we don't have a proper HR person, and the person who deals with these issues is very friendly with the person who is causing me to feel uncomfortable.

The man in question seemed friendly and normal at first, very helpful, very cheerful and I liked him as a colleague. He's senior to me and said he would help me with any questions work related, so I went to him for advice about things frequently.

He has my number for work reasons, and started messaging me. At first it was innocent enough, things about the weather, messages about work I needed to be aware of etc. But then it started to get a bit weird and flirty, he would send me compliments in the evening about what I was wearing earlier, and said he can't tell me what he really thinks about me as it may offend me with a kiss face. There's worse than that too. Just to add, I am late 20s and he is 60ish.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he doesn't realise how it looks over text? But I soon stopped replying as I felt uncomfortable. As a result, he started making things harder for me at work - he blocked my projects, and blanked me completely the rest of the time. I decided to clear the air, and tried to be friendly and casual, as if nothing had happened. Big mistake - he started to message me with the flirty stuff again.

Meanwhile, I began talking to some other people at work more frequently who I need to speak to for work reasons - these happen to be mostly men as the office in quite male dominated. This made the guy jealous - he started messaging me saying I shouldn't be making friends with them, and that he wants my desk to be moved into his office. He would make comments like 'they just want to perv on you and you are stupid to think they are not'. I said I'm just trying to be friendly and be on good terms with everyone at work, and he said I'm not, I'm just flirting with them.

Then things get worse - my line manager called me into a meeting to say someone has reported me for spending too much time socialising during work time, talking to these particular people. They didn't say who, but I know it was this guy who has reported it. I have to have a meeting about it next week, and it's possible they are going to move me into this guy's office as they think I need keeping an eye on.

The guy then messages me to say I need to be careful as I'm still in my 6 months probation, that I need to stop mixing with 'bad' people and keep my head down. He then insinuated I could be fired over this allegation.

I'm very scared right now. Idk if the evidence I have is enough to prove sexual Harassment as well as disprove the allegation against me. I spoke to another woman at work to ask if he ever said weird things to her, she said he does sometimes but not as strong as what he said to me. But she thinks he's harmless and it's not a big deal.

What do I do?

Did you post about him before?

Have you kept the messages? You should absolutely report it.

If you lose the job, are you in a financial crisis immediately? Can anyone help you with money? They can get rid of you for any reason in the first two years.

I have posted before yes but things have moved on since then. I felt the last post was too outing so I've made a new post in hope of some updates advice

Definitely report him and keep the texts for evidence

So that was you

Yes, this is a sustained harassment case, both generally in terms of overstepping privacy and in terms of sexual harassment. I bet he’s got form as well. Any union membership by any chance?

I am not an expert so I think you should call ACAS for advice, but the fact that you’re being sexually harassed (and from what you say that is most definitely the case) is more important than you not having been there more than two years.

I hope you still have the messages.

This guy is making your life a misery and is doing so in an unlawful way. And the colleagues saying he’s harmless are wrong. This is not harmless. Go out of the office on Monday lunchtime, get yourself a coffee and phone ACAS.

I remember your last post. Call ACAS

Write a detailed account of what's been happening, with dates and comments made. Print off the texts too. Take everything with you and explain as calmly as possible what's been happening. If the person who deals with these things is professional they won't allow this friendship with your harasser get in the way. You say you don't have a proper HR dept, do you have any company policies that cover conduct at work? Even if you don't, you're covered by Employment Law. Maybe print something out around that too and take it with you so they know you're aware of your rights.

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=6078

I am not an expert so I think you should call ACAS for advice, but the fact that you’re being sexually harassed (and from what you say that is most definitely the case) is more important than you not having been there more than two years

Let's be clear about this. You are protected in law under the Equality Act (2010) from the first day of your employment. You don't have to be subjected to this unwanted male attention for 2 years to have the legal right to escalate the matter - use your employer's Grievance process if they have one, or lodge it as a formal grievance in any case.

I strongly advise you to write out in chronological order the facts about how he has been messaging you, threatening you, giving you unwanted attention, even declaring he has an unprofessional interest in you. Keep all the messages and refer to them (dates, times etc) in your written account.

Take it immediately to your line manager and state you are escalating this matter to him formally. Don't leave any doubt you are taking the matter seriously.

The guy then messages me to say I need to be careful as I'm still in my 6 months probation, that I need to stop mixing with 'bad' people and keep my head down. He then insinuated I could be fired over this allegation.

This man is not only a slimeball he is also ignorant of the law. Probation is irrelevant. Cite this example of him sexually harassing you because he is making unjustified threats regarding your employment to incite fear.

Harassment is the technical term used in the context of the Equality Act as someone targeting you on the basis of a protected characteristic, in this case your sex. Use the word harassment through your written statement. They'll probably walk him off-site for gross misconduct - with all those messages you have tangible evidence against him.

Unless the guy is your line manager and you are his PA then why would you have your desk in his office? Bizarre.

I've worked in a similar small set up with no HR. The one thing I would say is I worked in a design agency and the lines are a little more blurry in this industry. There's more of a lovey covey culture. Can be seen as more normal to kiss / hug clients other staff and there seems a lack of formality. So kisses on messages etc.

However this guy is totally overstepping by commenting on what you are wearing etc. If you feel uncomfortable then it's too much, especially as he is behaving unprofessionally blocking your work. Whether it's right or wrong I think if you are in a small set up then you are best just to get out. They won't deal with things well and may try to turn it around to be your fault. It sucks.

Whether it's right or wrong I think if you are in a small set up then you are best just to get out. They won't deal with things well and may try to turn it around to be your fault. It sucks.

How would they turn it into the OP's fault if she has all the text messages on her phone? And a chronology of facts about the sexual harassment and threats meted out on her by someone who is clearly abusing his seniority? Why should she have to lose her livelihood and allow him to be rewarded for his bad behaviour by staying in post to continue to behave the same way to other women?

In the OPs circumstances, I would escalate the matter and be very clear that the employer is duty-bound to create a healthy working environment and safeguard the employee against Sexual Harrassment under in force legislation - Health and Safety at Work Act (1974) and the Equality Act (2010).

“They'll probably walk him off-site for gross misconduct - with all those messages you have tangible evidence against him.”

Give over.

A senior member of staff vs someone who’s been there a few months.
While that should be what happens, it’s not likely to, is it?

How are things going @OrangeGirl1? did you speak with ACAS?