Do I stay, or do I go? Work related

[WhoKnewBeefStew]

I've posted about this before, but wanted opinions.

I started a new job 2 months ago and hate it. I was approached by an old colleague to apply for this role. I had reservations but talked it through with the new employer and decided to go for it, as my old company looked very unstable and lacked direction. Unfortunately my reservations were founded and the role and culture is awful. I feel sick on a Sunday evening and been I years to my dh most weeks.

So, i currently have 1 week notice during my probation period, which end mid September, then it's 1 month. I'm off on holiday for two weeks at the end of this week. I really want to hand my notice in at the end of this week otherwise I'll worry myself sick on holiday stressing about the job.

If I hand my notice in without finding another job we could just about manage for maybe 6, maybe 9 months (I'm the main wage earner), but it would put us back a bit financially, I'd be able to take a payment break from the mortgage (I've been over paying), cut down on all bills etc. Worse case scenario I take a bar or cleaning job to see us through. I've got a few 'irons in the fire' job wise to talk to various people when I get back from holiday, so it's not all doom and gloom. But I'm worried about making the leap (I've never been unemployed), could I end up 'out of the frying pan into the fire'

Has anyone else done something similar?

Sounds miserable, if you can afford it, do it and enjoy your holiday!

For me I think it would depend a bit on your industry/job location and level of seniority, or in others words how likely you are to get another job quickly. I have various relations and friends who work in IT/software development in the SE, and they are so sought after it is completely normal if you want to leave a job to hand in your notice, have a few weeks off work, then let a headhunter know you want work and you will usually be sorted within a week (jealous!).

But if you work in a more niche field and/or in a part of the country where jobs are more scarce OR where it is frowned upon to not currently be in work when applying for jobs, I'd be a bit more nervous. 6-9 months is a good cushion for a period of unemployment but if you're like me and a bit anxious financially I can see you going from 'frying pan to fire' as you say, panicking if you don't immediately find something and taking a less than ideal job (lower salary, bad commute, not ideal work or whatever) just to have something secured. If you do choose to resign I'd advise writing down for yourself some clear criteria of what you want from a new job, what you are/aren't prepared to compromise on and how long you will hold your nerve before applying for not-ideal jobs?

Could a possible compromise so you still enjoy your holiday be to resign but give a longer notice period, say a month or 2 months? I know you say your contractual notice period is only one week but there's nothing to stop you giving more notice than the minimum period you're obliged to. That way you know you're on a very limited time period left at the bad job but still have a bit of a cushion of time to look for new ones? Of course it's no good if the people at work are so horrible they will make your life a misery once they know you're leaving or will try and get rid, or if things really are so bad you can't face going back at all.

Or another idea, is freelancing/temporary/interim work possible for you in your role/industry? You could perhaps look for something along these lines after your holiday so you have something to go to, money coming in and no CV gap, and then less pressure to find your next permanent role?

Could a possible compromise so you still enjoy your holiday be to resign but give a longer notice period, say a month or 2 months? I know you say your contractual notice period is only one week but there's nothing to stop you giving more notice than the minimum period you're obliged to.

They don't need to accept it, though. They could say, "this is your notice period, so off you go at the end of that."

I agree it depends on your sector, location and personal finances - and also how much of a risk -taker you are. If it were me, I'd want to get another job lined up first, but it's not me.

I have just been in this situation. Felt so ill!!! Holiday coming up next week but hearing from a job today after interview. Going to quit before holiday regardless. I can’t sleep sundays, often crying in my car on my lunch breaks etc. If you can afford to be off then go for it, they are not worth it and gaps can be explained. Xx

Life’s too short to be miserable. I’ve been there, I quit, I got another job. Go on holiday and relax and enjoy yourself. Nothing is worth all this worry.

@annon11 fingers crossed for the interview. What you are feeling is exactly the same for me right now.

I'm usually such a strong person and it's a fairly senior role, which I could do standing on my head, so it's not a step up or a promotion.

Thankfully there are quite a few opportunities in my sector and people move around a lot. I've got a conversation lined up for when I get back from leave, and I'm waiting to hear about a possible interview today.

Typically yesterday wasn't as bad, there are so many people on leave at the moment that I can actually catch my breath this week. I just don't want to end up ruining a holiday I've spent the last 10 months paying for.

If you can stomach it and stick it out I would. Quitting a company after two months is always going to be s red flag to future employers and make them ask questions. You say it's them, but any future employer will wonder if it's you and if you'll do the same thing to them.

It's easier, still not great, but easier to explain at interviews that it's not for you when you're still there.

Honestly? I'd find a way to cope and stay in the post until I'd found a replacement job. There are too many uncertainties externally (economic environment, politics, Brexit, etc, etc) that may mean your savings are needed to cope won't any fall out.

Stay but look and leave as soon as you've found a new post. Especially when senior.

Good luck.

I'm with those saying to 'stick it out'.

If necessary use a bit of reverse psychology on yourself, with a smug internal smile knowing you're going away on holiday, can come back to paid employment and make your move only when you're good and ready, not be forced out by anyone and not coming back from holiday out of a job.

Unfortunately @maxelly it could play into the employers' hands by offering a longer notice period. They may take great delight enforcing the contractual 1 week just for the hell of it, to be even nastier than they already have been.

The OP could consider it a benefit if they 'tick over' into a longer notice period, as it would give more of a safety net to seek other employment, in the knowledge the employer will have to abide by the longer period if they chose to part company, which would of course depend on whether the employer confirms the OPs probation period was successfully met.

I've left a job without a new one lined up. People called me stupid and brave! Best thing I did to save my mental health

I've left jobs with nothing to go to. In your position if I had an otherwise solid career and I thought I'd find something else relatively quickly then I'd go. Having one situation like this in an otherwise good employment record wouldn't particularly worry me as an employer either. The thing is you're leaving after a short period of time whether you stay another month or two or not.

I'm now sat on a conference call (looking at Mumsnet), the day before my 2 week holiday. My exec team have just chucked me under a bus in front of the customer. I think I'm going to forget about it for a fortnight, take two weeks if money and then call it a day.

The shortest I've ever been in a role is 3 years, so I've had a solid career record up to now. I have a few conversations lined up the week I get home and luckily there are a lot of roles out there and people move a lot.

Check the situation with your salary, as if you've taken more than the pro rata holiday entitlement for the time you've worked I assume they can recoup it. It gives you a bit of breathing space though, and hopefully knowing that's an option after your holiday will help you to forget about it for a bit and enjoy yourself.

I started a new job about a year ago and it was an awful mistake. I left, things got very sour when I said the job was different to my expectations and learned the best thing in such situations is to just go, no trying to discuss it most employers dont want to know. Not that you said that you were anyway.

I did eventually find a new job after 4 months with another false start along the way but it was a horrible, stressful time. It would have been more horrible if I'd stayed though.

I ended up doing some temping to tied me over, could you consider similar? August is a crap time for job hunting but Sept/October better after the summer ends.

It'll hopefully be a short period of stress and you can find something more suitable soon.

I walked out of a job in 2013 after 6 months. Also was not as described with awful, bullying colleagues and clueless management.

I left it off my CV and nobody ever asked about it at future interviews.
I found another job within 6 weeks.

Leave asap.
And the just leave the job off your cv.

How do you explain the 6 month gap mycat?

Biggest problem with looking for another Jon whilst still employed is how to take time off for interviews when you're new.

It's hard enough to take time off when you're established with many jobs requiring at least 2 stages of interviews, tests etc. I found it near impossible to this when new in, without arousing suspicion and it all coming out anyway.

Nobody ever asked me to explain the gap. I'm not in UK and it doesn't seem to be a thing here.

I had just come out of a seasonal fixed term job before that so if anyone had asked I would have said that I was still looking for the right role after the seasonal one ended.

Thank you all for posting.. I'm on holiday now for 2 weeks and I'm trying desperately not to think about work whilst I'm here... after the debacle that was my last day before the holiday I've decided I will leave.

I've got a few conversations lined up the week I get back. Just trying to decide if I leave as soon as I return (there's a specific process I have to follow - can't just email my resignation), or tough it out until mid September, and leave before my 3 months is up

A quick update, I've had a verbal offer for a role and I know the company and hiring manager. I'm waiting on the necessary paperwork to come through, but it all looks very positive. I can now relax a bit