Feeling guilty & worried - work & pregnancy
Bol87 · 28/07/2019 16:49
I work for a fantastic employer, I really cannot fault them. They are a joy to work for. Recently, a promotion came up & I was really undecided about going for it as we were TTC. After much soul searching & deciding to take a few months off TTC, I went for it & got the job. About a week into the job, I got invited to an event in New York along with some other colleagues & I excitedly said yes as well, cool trip.. it’s cost them thousands to send me on this trip. I’ve seen the reciepts!
Then I found out I was pregnant.. we of course caught on the month we decided to stop trying. We are so pleased though as it means a not too big gap between new baby & our daughter.
But now I feel horribly guilty about the new job. And I’m also suffering horribly with MS & I’m not convinced I’m well enough to fly long haul (I’ve already needed a hospital trip). The trip is at the end of August.. I just don’t know what to do. I feel guilty enough about getting a new job and going off on maternity 9 months later but the trip abroad costing thousands makes me want to cry. I don’t want them to think they made a mistake hiring me, I do a good job, I know I do.. and I know maternity leave is only 10 months in my case.. but how on earth do I tell them I probably won’t be able to go on this super expensive trip?!
Ginger1982 · 28/07/2019 17:11
If the worst happened and you physically couldn't go, could someone else take your place?
OccasionalNachos · 28/07/2019 17:17
Assuming you work for a large organisation, the travel agencies/booking departments/whatever that are used for staff travel usually offer full refunds for business travel.
I know how you feel & it must be awful if you’re getting bad sickness already, but things can change quickly during pregnancy & you might be feeling great in a month - fingers crossed for you! Please don’t feel guilty though. Women get pregnant, it’s a basic fact of life. Try & show your commitment to the job as much as you can as long as it has no detriment to your own health. & congratulations!
Loopytiles · 28/07/2019 17:20
Your health and baby are important.
Just inform them of your pregnancy when you feel ready to do so, and that due to your MS you may not be well enough to do the US trip.
Don’t be apologetic!
TequilaMockingbird0 · 28/07/2019 17:40
Firstly, don't feel guilty about getting pregnant and taking maternity leave. That is absolutely your right and doesn't make you any less good st your job. You should rightly put yourself first (in the same way a company would put itself first ahead of you if it came to it!)
It's unfortunate about the trip but corporate accounts are often set up to allow late cancellations etc. If you weren't pregnant something else could have happened meaning you couldn't go- unforeseen circumstances could crop up at any time.
Ticklemeelmo · 28/07/2019 20:29
Trip isn't for another month yet. Your morning sickness could yet calm down (I vomited every morning in first trimester but it's generally only around once a week now). See how you feel closer to the time.
Also don't feel guilty about taking maternity leave. All companies can and would drop you in a heartbeat if they no longer need you- so you should always put your own needs first when it comes to employers.
Bol87 · 29/07/2019 15:31
Thanks for the responses, much appreciated!
You make a good point about the insurance & cancellation possibilities.. you’d think they’d have some back up! I imagine my deputy could possibly go in my place..
I’ve been wracking my brains & I think the best thing to do given my current sickness is just to be honest.. I’m off today as I feel so poorly & I can’t see myself getting through the next 5-10 weeks without them wondering what on earth is wrong with me! My last pregnancy, morning sickness dragged on until 20 weeks so I was glad I told my then manager early on as I was in & out the office & worked from home a lot.
It’s just plucking up the courage to do so.. my manager works in another office so it’ll be an inherently awkward phone call!
AALM · 29/07/2019 19:22
Hi, I’m new here.. and only found out within the last 4 weeks or so that I’m pregnant! (Could not be happier :D)
I’m a beauty therapist, who works in a spa 3 days a week, trained in all treatments.
Ive recently started feeling very dizzy and lightheaded whilst on my feet all day at work, I have asked whether it would be possible to take me off of massage just for now to see how I get on and to see whether it helps with doing more sit down treatments.
They’ve informed me that they would need a doctors/midwife note to confirm this (which is fine). But they said because it is one of the main treatments at work..(even though I do facials, manicures, pedicures, waxing, tinting etc..) that they would have to cut my hours back..
me and my partner have recently got a house and specially now we have found out we’re going to be having a baby we really can not afford to have my hours deducted. Is this right that they’re able to do that or am I right in saying that it’s discrimination that I can’t at this moment in take carry out a treatment due to my health and safety for me and my baby?
Can any of you please help me at all?
Thank you x
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