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Original poster

Sick note - work social event

22 replies

Catworrier · 12/07/2019 10:30

I've just been signed off for a week due to my depression. I've got a summer bbq with work tonight that has been keeping me excited for months now and I was really looking forward to it. Because I have been signed off this morning my manager is telling me not to go.

I understand if I was signed off with a stomach bug that going to the event would be a bad idea. But if I was signed off with two broken wrists they would still let you attend the event.

I am not particularly keen on having time off but I know it will do me good in the long run. So today I am already feeling like a failure and now I have had the event taken away from me it's making me feel useless.

What can I do?

OP posts:

Sleepyquest · 12/07/2019 10:40

Why is it you want to go?
It might look a bit strange that you are too unwell to work with these people but well enough to socialise with them.
My advice would be to avoid it

dancemom · 12/07/2019 10:41

Agree, if you're unable to work it wouldn't be appropriate to go.

Lougle · 12/07/2019 10:42

Tbh, I would not go. I think if you had been signed off for a significant length of time and going to the BBQ would be a way of reintegrating, that would be ok. But to be signed off and attend a BBQ the next day...no.

Kannet · 12/07/2019 10:43

Even with broken wrists I'm pretty sure your work would not let you go

Proteinshakesandovieshat · 12/07/2019 10:47

I am signed off work for similar reasons.

One the one hand socialising is completely different to working with these people.

But honestly, it would look bad. Even if people dont say anything plenty will be thinking it's quite cheeky to not go to work but then turn up to party with the same group of people.

Personally, I wouldnt dream of going.

Original poster

Catworrier · 12/07/2019 10:50

Thanks everyone. Looks like I won't go. Just hating the fact that everything has just been taken away from me. I'd much rather be at work and be at the event.
Instead I'm sat at home being a miserable cow.

OP posts:

Sleepyquest · 12/07/2019 10:51

Did you tell your doctor you'd rather go to work?

PotteringAlong · 12/07/2019 10:52

I'd much rather be at work and be at the event.

I think if you’re well enough to think this and make the choice then you’re well enough to be at work.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 12/07/2019 10:54

It definitely depends on your work, with mine it is positively encouraged. I’m on part time due to stress and every social event I miss people ask me to attend and offer to make it easier for me to attend. But the whole culture is different to most jobs.

I’d probably be of the opinion not to go either - and I haven’t gone to any of mine albeit stress is a completely different kettle of fish to depression.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 12/07/2019 10:58

I'd much rather be at work

So why have you been signed off then? When I was signed off for similar reasons, my GP asked me first whether signing me off would do me more harm than good and we talked it through.

I think it would look terrible if you went to a work BBQ the day after being signed off.

Proteinshakesandovieshat · 12/07/2019 11:00

I’m on part time due to stress and every social event I miss people ask me to attend and offer to make it easier for me to attend. But the whole culture is different to most jobs.

But you are actually at work. I am sure other part time staff attend functions.

OP, you dint have to be signed off, if you dont want to be.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 12/07/2019 11:08

True I just giving a different point of view.

Original poster

Catworrier · 12/07/2019 11:10

I've been signed off because of reasons other that just work. I'm a workaholic which is why the dr discussed with me taking some time to myself. And I agreed.

I think you're missing the point. I'd much rather be at work. But the thing is it's not good for me to be at work right now. The doctor hasn't forced me. I've agreed it would be worth trying it out and seeing if it works for me or if it makes things worse.

OP posts:

Original poster

Catworrier · 12/07/2019 11:12

@MrsGrannyWeatherwax how did you come to agree part time due to stress out of curiosity?
I can't afford to go part time but is there some way you can organise it so the Drs can give me a sick note to be part time for a few months but on full time pay? This may be the best option for me. It's certainly something I could manage better

OP posts:

Proteinshakesandovieshat · 12/07/2019 11:12

Could you not take some time off. Speak to work an arrange it.

Annual leave, unpaid break (if you can afford it) or something like that.

To be fair, going to a work event when you have been signed off, because you work too much probably isnt a great idea, either.

Original poster

Catworrier · 12/07/2019 11:15

I've booked up most of my annual leave for family trips as my family live far away. A few days left for emergency childcare cover. And I cannot afford unpaid leave.

I'll clarify one last time. I won't be going. Thanks everyone

OP posts:

Proteinshakesandovieshat · 12/07/2019 11:24

I know you arent going. I was just trying to make other suggestions that may remedy the situation.

Your doctor can do a fit note that suggests phased return. My work will pay full for less hours but only for a few weeks. So I am going back 9.30-2.30pm for a couple of weeks then 9.30-3.30pm

But they do it over 12 weeks at the most, usually its over 8.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 12/07/2019 11:28

Yes that’s what my doctor has suggested too, full pay for a limited number of weeks to allow a phased return. I previously worked a lot of excess hours so my line management considers this to just be making up time almost, as I needed their agreement.

It certainly given me the short break I need to catch up with personal admin and a small break from baby (still in nursery). We’re in the process of agreeing a slight change to working hours to allow a better work life pattern as I returned from Mat leave at 6 months so feel as though I’m missing out.

Original poster

Catworrier · 12/07/2019 11:30

@Proteinshakesandovieshat sorry I'm just a mess of emotions today after my appointment.

I've got a call with my dr next Thursday to see if this time off has worked for me and what the next steps are. Maybe I'll ask him about a phased return. That'll keep my mind at rest with my work load but enough time to let me recover a bit.

OP posts:

stucknoue · 12/07/2019 11:42

If you cannot work you cannot be well enough to go, it may technically be different but it's just an either or situation

Proteinshakesandovieshat · 12/07/2019 11:56

Catworrier dont worry about it. I am signed off till the end of the month, with similar issues.

I kind of brought it on myself. Someone else was off and i was convinced i could carry the load. Turns out, i couldnt. I am likely to be off a month after that too.

Its shit because my career has always been where I excelled. Where I could always feel worthwhile, even though I actually felt shit about myself.

While I know I am not well enough to be at work, being off isn't really helping. I have a welfare meeting in a couple of hours to catch up with my manager and shitting myself.

Try and look after yourself. I am trying to learn that too. Not easy.

Sleepyquest · 12/07/2019 12:30

Well if work isn't the best place for you at the mo cos you're a workaholic, then I'd say the BBQ is definitely not going to help matters.

Go out with some different friends tonight instead

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