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Job dilemma

3 replies

Babyroobs · 26/06/2019 23:40

I started a new job five months ago. I thought it would be pretty similar to my last job ( which I loved) just in a different location. However I have been unhappy since I started - I am part of a small team but we never see each other as we are home based. I don't have enough work because it's a new service and just building up . I don't really gel with my team leader who just sweeps things under the carpet and doesn't listen to any concerns. I've jumped from part time to full time and some days have a 75 min commute. I'm exhausted and depressed. On my home working days I'm just sat in my bedroom, daren't move from my desk. On a positive note, the money and pension are good and I finally feel like I'm earning a vaguely similar amount to my dh. I feel overwhelmed with some aspects of the job and there is no feedback as to how I'm doing. My boss knows I am going for interviews and this has understandably made things a bit worse. I had a disastrous interview a month or so ago and it has knocked my confidence. I have another one in a couple of weeks to go back to my old place, for a it would be loads less money and no real prospects but I would see people each day and have lots of work ! I'm just so indecisive as to what to do and fearful of making the wrong decision

OP posts:
maxelly · 27/06/2019 11:48

You have my sympathies, home working is a big adjustment and also going up to full time on top must be really hard. My current job is mainly home based and it took me a long time to get used to it, although I do like it now and not sure I'd go back to being 100% office based by choice which is not something I ever thought I'd say in the first year of this job! I can understand your desire to go to a previous job/organisation you enjoyed, but it does sound like it would be a bit of a backwards step financially and career wise... if you were able to make your peace with staying in this job say 6 months more, would that leave you in a better place to move on to another job at the same level but which suits you better? Obviously don't sacrifice your mental health as this is the most important thing. I also have a very 'laid back' boss who rarely gives any feedback (and when he does it's that vague 'everything's fine, you're doing well' kind that tells you nothing) - I've just learnt to live with it and assume if there was a problem he would tell me.

On the home working front, some things that helped me:

-In order to feel like part of a team when you are all in different places, you really have to make an effort to recreate what you lose out by not having an 'office', so for instance we have a 'team chat' thread on our work IM system where we just chit chat, ask each other about our weekends, post jokes, moan about difficult clients or boring meetings etc. Obviously we're not chatting all day but like in a regular office it helps clear your head a bit to take 2 mins for some pointless small talk every so often. You can mute or close it if you want to concentrate...

-We also have regular catch up calls (once a week) and face to face meetings (once a month) and we make time in these just for general talk as well as actual agenda items so we feel closer as a team. We also use this time to try and pin our boss down a bit more on concerns/things that need improving, because it feels nicer to work on these kind of problems as a team and to show it isn't just one person feeling that way. So long as we present solutions that we think will work as a team the boss usually goes for path of least resistance and just agrees!

-On a similar note, you mustn't feel tied to your desk. I got this at first as I was so paranoid that people would think I was skiving if I so much as went to the loo and missed a call or chat. But I came to realise that's an unrealistic expectation, in most offices you are not expected to be flat out working 100% of your time, people go for fag breaks, tea breaks, chat to to their mate breaks, browse online news breaks etc., so you should give yourself that flexibility too. If your boss is like mine nothing is further away from his way of working to be actually monitoring your response rate at all times of the day, he just wants the work done without him having to do much. So long as you are delivering, who cares if you take 10 mins to put the washing on or half an hour to watch TV? I would really recommend getting away from your desk for at least 30 mins in the day, maybe go for a nice walk, it'll help your mental health too!

Good luck, hope it works out for you.

Babyroobs · 27/06/2019 12:01

Thanks maxelly that is all so helpful and it's good to know I'm not alone in struggling with the home working, it really has been the worst part of it ! I think you're right in thinking I should give it longer, I guess I'm just worried that by giving it longer I'm missing out on the chance to go back to my old job. We do have a short daily skype chat as a team and meetings every few weeks but it still seems very isolated. thanks for taking the time to give such a reassuring reply, I really appreciate it.

OP posts:
Isleepinahedgefund · 28/06/2019 07:19

My last job was one primarily home based. I didn't have enough work and I never saw anyone. It was great for the first year or so as my boss didn't care where I was so long as I got my work done (I didn't have to collaborate with anyone on my work). Then it started slowly driving me mad and was a major factor in leaving after 2.5 years. When I changed jobs I decided to do 3 days office based and 2 at home.

I think home working requires an attitude shift from both worker and manager. Your manager needs to trust that you are working and find a way to keep in touch, and you need to accept that trust and behave realistically - you're not expected to be nailed to your desk (if you are that's just silly!). So on home days I will get the housework done as breaks, and I get way more work done than in the office where frankly we chat quite a lot!

My old manager never contacted me - I gather he kept in more contact with the rest of the team (all mainly home based) but because I got my work done and never caused problems he left me alone. I think he called me once in the last 18 months I worked there. This of course is never going to work out well, I was horribly isolated and it affected my wellbeing.

My new manager has only experienced managing people working at home who want a bit of a skive. Luckily he was willing to give it a go, but I could see his reticence when I asked for the days at home. I've spent the last three months clandestinely training him - firstly to understand that I AM working when I'm at home, and also that he needs to keep in touch on those days just the same as if I were in the office. We sit next to each other and our work overlaps quite a lot so we interact a lot on in office days, so for both of us it could feel a bit odd not to communicate on my home days. It works well now, we use the IM system and will usually speak at least once on those days.

Overall, I think it either suits you or it doesn't. I don't think I will ever take another primarily home based job, so I can see why you want to leave. If that's what feels right for you and it works financially etc, then do it. I would also take some time to consider if you can take a step forward in your career at this point rather than just going backwards to your old job.

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