Was colleague racist?

[ronky30]

I’ll try to keep this brief.

Last week, during a conversation about strange things that people eat around the world, Colleague A said “They say that in China if it has four legs but is not a table, or if it flies but is not an aeroplane, then it can be eaten”. Colleague B (who has Chinese heritage) angrily asked Colleague A what he had said and told him that he was racist. Colleague A responded saying that he wasn’t being racist and was merely repeating a well known saying, and asked if she had never heard it. Colleague B said that you shouldn’t believe everything you read. Nothing more was said at the time, but today, after a couple of days out of the office, Colleague A returned to work and was told that Colleague B had made a complaint that he was making racist comments, and he was being asked to attend a disciplinary hearing with HR next week.

So as not to drip feed, Colleague A was in trouble earlier this year when a different colleague made a complaint about him being “inappropriate” in the office (Colleague A had sworn at her). The complaint was dealt with and Colleague A was being monitored by his manager to ensure that he behaved appropriately and professionally in the office.

AIBU to feel that calling Colleague A to a disciplinary hearing is a bit much? I think that it would have been more appropriate to speak to him to explain why Colleague B would be offended and to suggest that he apologise. There was no malice intended by the comment and he is not racist. I suspect that the disciplinary hearing is more around “appropriate behaviour” in the office, rather than specifically about racism.

So my questions are:

1 – what would you consider to be the most appropriate course of action if a colleague said something similar in your office? Would disciplinary action be taken?
2 – if not, is it fair that this is being used against him as an example of “inappropriate behaviour” when other colleagues might not be disciplined for saying a similar thing?

Also, just a technicality but it is important that they are not saying your DP is racist but that the comment he made could be. There’s a difference. If you look at it that way it might help you (both) understand why the complaint was made and why the employers have to deal with it. They have tried informal monitoring and now have another complaint about similar behaviour. They have to escalate to show they’ve met their duty of care to his colleagues subjected to his behaviour.

There is a world of difference between "I've heard that people China eat a much bigger variety of meat than we do here, is that true Colleague B?" and what your DP said. Surely you can see that.

But I think that people have a choice as to whether or not they take offence, and should take into consideration the intent when making that choice.

Well maybe. But if you pay attention, you'll see that people of colour and people from other countries put up with a lot of comments on their heritage. I think that sounds rather wearing, to say the least.

Yes it was a racist comment and your DH should be more careful about what he says. I work for a local authority and it would most definitely lead to a disciplinary.

"But I think that people have a choice as to whether or not they take offence, and should take into consideration the intent when making that choice"

But we can't know what the intent is.

I can say it's not a complaint I'd make myself...unless it was part of a wider problem, which it does appear it might be here.

A conversation about “strange things that people eat around the world” was probably never going to end well for anyone.

😂

On a more serious note, your DP may not have meant any harm but it was still a bit ignorant and inappropriate. Perhaps his intentions weren’t bad but that doesn’t make it unreasonable for his colleague to be offended. The colleague has probably grown up with the gag about Chinese people eating cats being made on a regular basis. They were probably sick to death of it by the time they were ten years old and might have expected to have moved past that now as an adult in the workplace.

As with so many things though context is everything.

Colleague A sounds stupid if nothing else. He was being monitored, so yes I would expect disciplinary. He sounds like one of those loud irritating tosspots that are found in almost every office

Yep that is an actual saying in China. Colleague B needs to swot up on the Chinese part of his heritage

I think it depends quite a lot on the context and the way it was said. For example, it could be said admiringly, in the way that many people think the British are squeamish about the meat they eat and that all parts of an animal should be eaten, or why a cow and not another type of animal. Or it could be said in a way that suggests Chinese food habits are strange. Difficult to say without hearing the actual conversation I think.

Did your DP instigate the riveting conversation about what strange food people eat around the world, while his Chinese colleague just happened to be around and then did he just happen to get in his little joke? He's been unbelievably stupid.

Your DP made a totally inappropriate comment. Exactly as others have said, you know him well but that does not matter - he is being judged on his behaviour at work, which was absolutely appalling. He needs to engage his brain before he speaks.

I don’t think it’s racist to discuss different cultures (no matter how ignorantly). But a lot of it comes down to tone. What he said seems perfectly fine (albeit really stupid) but if it was said in a disparaging tone then that would be very different wouldn’t it?

@mindystclaire it’s really not at all. I am actually quite pleased when people take interest in my heritage and culture. It’s something different and interesting to talk about (interesting to me at least).

Who instigated the conversation?
What are A and B’s roles in the company? Junior? Senior? Equal? How long have they both been there? Are they normally friends? Do they know each other well or they just met that day? All of those things and more will make a difference to the extent to which your DP was in the wrong.

There is no arguing he made a mistake but how small or big a deal might depend on those other factors. If he has form for inappropriate behaviour it doesn’t help though. I don’t know what should happen to him and I certainly don’t think he should lose his job over it but I also don’t think it’s fair to turn it around on colleague B and suggest that they have merely chosen to take offence. I doubt there is much in to for them to stick their head above the parapet and complain. Maybe your DP has been making low-level annoying remarks to people regularly and this was the last straw?

The bottom line is that people can say what they like to friends and family but in the workplace one ought to think twice, for one’s own sake as well as for everyone else’s.

Picnic and OP: the last paragraph picnic wrote is what should be said to him. It’s inappropriate and not suitable in the workplace. Any repeat could lead to disciplinary action, so maybe a verbal warning.

I would have reported that in my workplace and a disciplinary is what colleague A should be expecting.