Long term unemployed - feeling hopeless

[Badcallbenny]

I'm 36 years old and I've been unemployed for 6 years. I left my last job in childcare after a series of personal tragedies led to an awful bout of depression. Unfortunately, the longer I was out of work, the more depressed I became and any confidence I used to have (and I've never had that much) completely disappeared. I've realised I can't go on like this and I have to get back into work but i don't know what to do career wise. I don't have a degree, only highers and an HND, and my only work experience is in low skilled jobs. When I look online and see nothing but low wage jobs ahead of me, I begin to feel the depression sinking back in. I'm very worried about my future and I need some hope. I don't have kids but I posted here because I thought parents who have taken career breaks to take care of kids might be able to relate in some part to my problem. I don't need to have a career as such but I'd to do something more than stacking shelves or cleaning rooms (both of which I've done). Any advice would be welcome. I'm feeling pretty low.

Honestly i could of wrote this myself. I have been unemployed for 7-8 years due to taking the time out to look after my children, while my dh built his career too.

I get so down about not working and looking for work, not helpful when your already depressed and suffer with anxiety.
I have zero qualifications, didn't even get any decent gcse grades either-but thats my own fault.

I too have worked the crappy low paid jobs over the years, but ive come to realise that i need to take one of those now, to get back on the working path and build up some work history, as much as its depressing part of me thinks actually having the extra money each month will be worth it, as then i will be able to afford to pay to train in something im interested in doing and hopefully this will give me enough to keep me going each day. Is this something you could do too? Maybe it will make you feel a bit better if it means you have an end goal.

Thanks for responding ap2003. It helps to know I'm not the only one who gets down about looking for work. At least in your situation, your time out has been spent looking after your children and you have a husband to rely on so even without qualifications from school, I think you're in a much better position than me.

I think maybe you're right and I'll need to just get another low paid job just to have a job. The only problem is, I don't now what my end goal is. I don't know what I want to do or what I'm capable of doing. My problems with anxiety have really held me back over the years. I just can't face up to the fact that I'm pushing 40 and I have nothing to show for my life.

Can anyone else here help me?

Would you be able to do some volunteering? It would give you a chance to try something different, get experience and a recent reference and possibly also some training depending on the volunteer role.

It would be less commitment per week than going into full time work so might allow you to ease back in to a regular commitment.

I was also going to suggest volunteer work. It doesn’t have to be worthy, pick something you’d enjoy. Quite a few places advertise on do-it.org but also contact organisations directly as well.

What about looking into apprenticeships for the future? Some are quite well paid.

Ap2003, you can do maths and English GCSEs for free, if that will help?

You’ve got highers, so you could go to uni now if you wanted. Attentively, you could get into care work and work towards the SVQ level 3 (I think this is what it’s called) which is management level. You’re still young and you’re obviously not stupid. I recommend going to your local Skills Development Scotland office. Guarantee they’ll have some good ideas. Good luck.

OP I was sout of work for 17yrs while a SAHM, no qualifications as such and no career before kids that I could fall back into. I took a job in a supermarket and within a few months was offered a promotion to deputy manager and store trainer. I can progress further if I wish too and keep on taking extra training for various things. Within 18mths I went from working 20hrs a week to full time deputy manger earning £25K+ (I'm not at the full pay scale yet will rise to £28K).
I think if you find a basic job you can enjoy you'll find it easier to find work elsewhere and you could even progress further within the same company. Once you have some work history to add to your CV it will get easier.

Good Luck OP

I would look for mental health organisations in your area that help people to improve their employability and get back to work.

I know where you’re coming from OP. Firstly, remember that minimum wage/low wage does not necessarily mean a crappy job. For example, although retail can be at the lower end of the pay scale, a lot of retailers can be excellent to work for eg John Lewis, Waitrose. Aldi are also known as a good employer and I believe their pay is pretty good. On bank holidays the staff get double time - the assistant I spoke to on a BH was on £22 per hour!!!!!!!! What are your hobbies/interests and we can make more suggestions?

Supermarket jobs don't have to be low paid, choose the right one :D

Where I work on a bank holiday I could easily be earning £27 an hour, I work every bank holiday I can 😂

You need to start somewhere. You're not going to get the high paid jobs sitting worrying about it.

Find something you enjoy and then work out how to progress.

Remember that not everyone progresses out of a lower paid job because they don't all want to. Some people are just happy and fulfilled doing the job. So they aren't necessarily dead end roles as they might look yo you right now. And you'll meet people and build your confidence. You can do this. You made the first move by posting. Good luck!

Being in Scotland I think a part time Open University degree would be paid via grants if you're under a certain income. The OU are also good at supporting students with mental health problems or disabilities. I got a degree in psychology that way after I had mental health issues myself. I loved the child psychology part of the degree especially. There are lots of things you might find interesting so maybe take a look? If you're studying part time something you find interesting it might help balance out an uninspiring job, and when you graduate you'd be better placed for a job that you find more meaningful. I'm really sorry you've had a tough few years. You have done well to get through them. Please don't give up hope because actually there are a lot of possibilities. I second what people say about volunteering as well. Volunteering to help other people definitely helped me feel better and ultimately led to my current job which I like and which helps me stay well. All the best.

Choose a degree wisely though. Something with purpose. Don't get lost in the sea of grads with no (recent) experience. Or you'll feel worse and hard done to about it -i would! (Unless you want to do one because you want to, iyswim)

Hope you feel more positive tomorrow

Thanks for all your suggestions. I've read and re-read them all. It's much appreciated. Someone else mentioned volunteering to me and think it would be a good first step.

@FrontRowSeat
My interests include drawing and painting, being outdoors and baking among other things. Essentially creative pursuits.

@TheHobbitMum
It helped me to hear that you'd been able to rejoin the workforce after 17 years and do so well for yourself.

I'm naturally an Introvert and one of the things that's really set me back in my job search is that so many job listings include the specification that the candidate should be confident, outgoing and love working as part of a team. I don't have a problem being around people (or at least I didn't before I became depressed) and when I'm good at what I do I can be confident but I'm not a naturally outgoing gregarious person and I get easily overwhelmed and depressed in jobs such as those working with the public. I thrive best when I have opportunities to work on my own or with small groups.

Earning potential isn't my biggest consideration. I'd be happy to go into a minimum wage if it was one I enjoyed. I think my biggest worry is that if I go down the route of choosing something I hate, I'll end up walking out of the job, sink back into depression again and end up worse off than before. Long term unemployment has been absolutely devastating for my mental health.

@WrongKindOfFace
I wish I'd gone into an apprenticeship when I was younger but I was told by my parents I was going to university. I ended up not getting accepted (I applied to art school) so I went to college and got an HND before being accepted to art school. I dropped out before the end of the first year. My problems with anxiety have held me back so much in my life.

I think an apprenticeship would have suited me but I'm too old to be accepted for one now.

Are you too old? I'm not sure you are. Too old for some of the fundings but not too old to do one?

Fwiw, I would have loved one too but I was also pushed into uni and dropped out.

Could you work in a kitchen setting? Creative that way? Have you met with a temp agency? Find out what work is available in the area.

It sounds like you need to build on your confidence and resilience while you're starting to work out options for work.

Mind UK have a very informative website - here's a helpful article about building up your resilience

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/stress/developing-resilience/#.XQnCaLLTWhA

You’re most definitely not too old for an apprenticeship.
, if that’s what you want to do. www.apprenticeships.scot

@daisychain01 Thanks for the link. I do need to build up my confidence. It's at rock bottom at the moment.

@xtinak Thank you. I'll try not to give up hope.

What about signing up for an agency and doing temping work? It was my only way back into work after five years (I would never have got a job through an interview process) and it is good experience and a foot in the door.

Your never too old for an apprenticeship, the local authority near me do apprenticeships for people upto the age of 50.

You say you like to be creative, have you thought about photography? That can be creative and if you have a natural flair for it too plus your flair for art, it could be be something you enjoy.

If you like to be creative but struggle with confidence due to anxiety, look at free local classes in your area, especially art, baking etc.. as they are the things your interested in and you will be among like minded people, which could help build your confidence.

Just remember we all have our struggles and to take little steps to get through them, but we all have our strengths too, although sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

Scouting or guiding can take 1-2hours a week they have training programmes to make you a qualified leader so it will give you skills and boost confidence as well as making a difference and getting out meeting people each week.

Thanks for all your help everyone. I've had better advice here than I have from anywhere else I've asked this question.