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Original poster

Being 'ghosted' by employer after job offer - please help!

106 replies

CarlyD156 · 07/06/2019 17:36

I would love some thoughts/advice. Last Fri (31 May) I was offered a job offer. It's a small organisation (no HR team) but the manager was very communicative, answering my questions on the emails. By Tues we had agreed a salary, which I negotiated to be a bit higher than the original offer.

I wanted to accept but felt like I needed to disclose things. 1 is that I already have leave booked for a 3 week honeymoon, some of which I'd have to take unpaid as I wouldn't accrue enough leave. The second is that I have a health condition that requires me to work from home one day a week. Of course, I could have waited til I had a contract to chat about this stuff but I didn't want anyone to feel 'tricked' and thought it'd be better to be totally upfront.

The problem is, since that email, they have ignored me! It's now end of Friday, so 3.5 days since I contacted them. I am getting really anxious and didn't want it hanging over me over the weekend, so I sent a friendly prompt this morning. But still nothing (it's now 5.30pm).

Has anyone experienced anything similar? What does it sound like has happened? And what would you do in my shoes?? I went through 3 interviews to get the role so I don't want to give up on it, but I also am getting slight red flags!

Thank you xxxx

OP posts:
TheInvestigator · 07/06/2019 19:02

I just think it's very deceitful. You obviously didn't mention it before because you didn't want them to have anything negative to think about. And now if they withdraw the offer, you can sue.

I have 3 employees with disabilities (I have 7 total) And I have had to make adjustments in the business. Disability wouldn't bother me, but the deceitful behaviour would. I would want to withdraw the offer because I don't want to employ anyone who may behave in an underhand way. But if I withdrew your offer, I would be worried that you'd sue for discrimination and it would be hard to prove that I fired you for hiding the adjustments you'd require and not for having a disability.

HobbyIsCodeForDogging · 07/06/2019 19:19

What kind of health condition is it that requires you to work one day a week from home?

I agree it was very bad form to negotiate a higher salary before disclosing your "requirements" and I can see why the employer would be pissed off and possibly rescind.

CruellaFeinberg · 07/06/2019 19:30

I'm struggling to work out a health condition that means you have wfh 1 day a week

iMatter · 07/06/2019 19:30

I would drop you like a stone

I think you can say goodbye to that job

FiveGoMadInDorset · 07/06/2019 19:37

I am surprised you are surprised

VodselForDinner · 07/06/2019 19:43

What kind of health condition is it that requires you to work one day a week from home?

I’m putting a tenner on anxiety.

Imnotbent · 07/06/2019 20:08

You’ve asked for thoughts? Does delusional seem appropriate I’m struggling to believe that some one has this little insight.

itsboiledeggsagain · 07/06/2019 20:11

I am surprised that people think 3 days means ghosted. If it is a small company they are probably doing other things.

Jauralane · 07/06/2019 20:11

If you have a disability then an employer is required to make reasonable adjustments but it isn't for an employee (or candidate) to unilaterally decide to enact an adjustment (eg working from home). You've been mistaken to think that you can simply tell them that you 'require' an adjustment and assume this will automatically happen and reasonably practicable for that particular employer/ role.

Jauralane · 07/06/2019 20:15

and is reasonably practicable

flowery · 07/06/2019 20:31

”I am surprised that people think 3 days means ghosted. If it is a small company they are probably doing other things.”

I think it’s because of the OP’s description of what has happened that people think they might be withdrawing the offer, rather than just because it’s been three days.

stayathomegardener · 07/06/2019 20:56

Reverse?

whiskeysourpuss · 07/06/2019 21:00

Of course, I could have waited til I had a contract to chat about this stuff but I didn't want anyone to feel 'tricked' and thought it'd be better to be totally upfront.

But you weren't upfront & technically they were 'tricked' because you didn't disclose any of this at any of the interviews you attended nor during communications regarding your working conditions & salary.

If I wasn't the kind to give the benefit of the doubt I'd be thinking that you knew it was unlikely you'd be offered the job if you raised these issues before receiving said offer & deliberately withheld the information 🤔

Whynotnowbaby · 07/06/2019 21:06

It doesn’t seem like you’ve gone about this the right way. I can see why you would want to convince them of your worth before going in with the information about your disability but it should definitely have been mentioned before you started negotiating salaries etc. You need to speak to them in person, ask if they received your email and if they will be able to accommodate your work from home request or whether they can suggest adjustments that might be easier for them to accommodate. As pps have said it seems a bit weird that you are perfectly fine to work in the office four days but on a fifth you can’t. What happens on that day to make it impossible for you to go in? Is that day set in stone? Could it be two half days? You need to be ready to have a dialogue rather than issue a demand and expecting it to be met. I think you definitely need to take up the situation again on Monday.

Imnotbent · 07/06/2019 21:06

If nothings been accepted and you are still in negotiations then I agree with the pp who said they are probably negotiating with someone else or the pp who questioned whether this is a reverse.

Doyoumind · 07/06/2019 21:18

This does sound like a very odd way to go about things. Even if you were trying to improve your chances by not disclosing the WFH thing, why would you negotiate a higher salary before telling them?

daisychain01 · 07/06/2019 21:42

The received wisdom for managing disabilities in a recruitment situation is:

Attend interview, no need to divulge disability.

Employer should not expect to discuss at interview.

They may ask the candidate if they require any reasonable adjustments for the interview, but candidate can decline if they prefer to keep it confidential.

If successful, once the candidate has received a firm job offer, they have the option of divulging their disability or may choose not to.

If successful applicant wants reasonable adjustments, they need to declare their disability at this stage ie once they know their employment offer is firm. It does not mean they get to dictate what the reasonable adjustment is, but they could suggest what has worked for them in their previous company, and if their new employer can support it, then happy days. But expecting is as a done-deal is unreasonable.

MrsMaisel · 07/06/2019 23:35

Perhaps they're negotiating with preferred candidate #2 now?

fedup21 · 07/06/2019 23:43

also really curious as to the medical condition which means you are fine to work 4 days in an office but have to work one day at home

Yep! I think they will retract the job offer.

Namenic · 07/06/2019 23:49

There are conditions where people have to go to hospital for infusions regularly. A relative goes every 3-4 weeks and works in a demanding job. So it is possible.

notapizzaeater · 07/06/2019 23:50

You are in dodgy ground as they can let you go for anything in the first 2 years and I'd be pretty pissed you'd kept this quiet

VimFuego101 · 07/06/2019 23:56

Do you even know for certain that they have a WFH policy?

broken1982 · 08/06/2019 00:26

I should hope they jolly well do retract the job offer. That was major cheek, entitled and bloody rude of you to not even mention having to have to work from home one day a week and especially having driven up the salary! Is that even something they do within this company? Your a cheeky fucker

Defender90 · 08/06/2019 00:29

When I interviewed for my current job I disclosed that I had a 3 week holiday booked (which included getting married) they were fine with it, I can't imagine not disclosing that at interview stage.

Similar small company no HR etc.

SD1978 · 08/06/2019 00:42

I hope for your sake that they are just finalising things- but there is no way you can demand a work from home day, without the company approving at the point of interview. I'd say that's a bugger sticking point than your leave.