Please help me put a positive slant on a difficult situation

[Mums1234]

I work alone in an office on a different floor to 4 staff downstairs.

I am always forgotten about- lunches delivered to officesas treat, locked in, christmas parties, tea rounds, cakes, sweets etc etc

I appreciate it can happen when people are busy and can be a genuine oversight. However, it happens so much it is affecting my morale, self esteem and confidence.

The director is supportive and it is better when he is in the office - but he is often abroad/offsite and there is only so much he can do. He will remind them about me.

The office also create work for me- genuine mistakes- but it has meant I am doing unpaid overtime for people who forget about me on regular basis so I feel resentful.

I feel isolated, unrespected and an outsider in work as I'm not part of the office camaraderie.

It is horrible to hear laughing and to be forgotten about so much.

I have caught and challenged people gossiping about me behind my back, it is unpleasant and adds to the feeling of being an outsider.

I feel uncomfortable in work and obviously I am looking for anew job. The director is happy with my work ethic and quality but I dread going into work.

This week a colleague accused me of being rude (I emailed to say he wasn't trying at a task) and a colleague is complaining about me (although I have the directors full support on both issues).

The events this week make me dread work even more than usual.

How can I see this in a positive slant ? How do I be positive when I've had enough?

Hi @Mums1234 this sounds like a very difficult situation for you. Is there any reason you can't sit on the same floor? this sounds like it will alleviate the issue of you feeling isolated and being forgotten about. It will also allow you to bond with your colleagues more and discussions can be had face to face rather than over email (where tone can be misunderstood).

Or perhaps you could pop down to see them/suggest a regular meet up each week (perhaps coffee and cake?)

Alternatively, if you're looking for another job, just keep in your mind that you'll be out of there soon! Ultimately, your boss seems to support and value you, so you can essentially ignore everyone else, especially if you won't be there for too much longer.

Can you move so that you work downstairs with your colleagues?

Being physically isolated appears to be part of the problem,.

I think I remember you posting about this before, you seem to be really miserable and I think looking for a new job is a good idea.

Are you superior to the colleagues downstairs? If so the boss is not there to make friends and that is reflected in the higher rate of pay.
If you are not then actually I think you were rude to tell someone they arent trying at a task.

Unfortunately I can't work downstairs as there isn't the space and I can't work in the same office for various reasons.

I accept I was direct in an email, but his lack of effort has meant I have worked Saturday unpaid. The director is away and has seen the issues the colleague has left me with. The equivalent is like a chef asking a kitchen assistant to cut onions, 6 weeks later it still isnt done. They just pass you an unopened bag 6 weeks later and for weeks have said everything is OK,

I'm not superior to my colleague , I just manage my own work and report to the director only.

You shouldn't be working unpaid. That is for your manager to either take them to task or to pay over time or organise for the work to be done by someone else.

But if i speak to the director about their poor work - doesn't that make me a bad colleague? It looks like I have gone behind their back.

If they're not doing the work and you're having to do unpaid overtime then surely you have to let the boss know. It sounds like they don't like you anyway and make you feel uncomfortable so you've got nothing to lose. Fingers crossed for a new job appearing soon.

I accept I was direct in an email, but his lack of effort has meant I have worked Saturday unpaid.

So, before you did the work, and as soon as you saw the issue arising, you should have raised this with your manager. Working unpaid is unprofessional.

Also I disbelieve that there isn't a way to create a working environment in which you are more included, physically and in terms of team building.

What are rhe issues that mean you can't work in the same office, other than space?

Sounds like you need to modify your communication style to being direct but tactful and also not out up with things so long they turn into a crisis.

But if i speak to the director about their poor work - doesn't that make me a bad colleague? It looks like I have gone behind their back.

even without line manager authority over people, if their work quality impacts your hours and the efficient running of your office you have every right to take your concerns to them. No need to go behind anyone's back, f2f verbal is always better than email. Ask for their cooperation to do the task 'in xyz way' next time as they may not be aware you've had to correct it and that has led to delays in the process. During the conversation, if training is needed, then tactfully get them to own the action to organise that.

In the scenario of the kitchen staff and the onions, my theoretical response is why leave it 6 weeks before you found those onions hadn't been chopped? If the task is yours, why not negotiate a reasonable deadline of say 2 weeks, then after 1 week it's "hows that onion chopping task going? Anything I can support you with?" Having a target and controls in place you can avoid 'nasty surprises' weeks down the line.

If working remotely from your colleagues is causing you feelings of isolation, I would take formal steps to change that situation. If however you are close to leaving for another job, it probably isn't worth the effort, but if it is, express your concerns and the effect of the isolation to your manager or HR. If you haven't been clear enough thus far, they likely haven't prioritised it.

also not put up with things so long

Why don't you have weekly morning meetings and engage with the staff that way? Ask them how there weekend was and just general chit chat.

Don't make the meetings dull and ask if the staff have any concerns or if you have any concerns.