Return to work and feeling like you’re not good enough

[Countrylifemama]

Hi

I returned back to work 6 months ago after having 13 months off. Since being back I have struggled a lot as there’s been changes in my direct mgmt and role/focus.

Since being back I’m also now managing a new team who I didn’t hire and basically every day for the past 3 months I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job and always second guessing myself.

I get really anxious and over think everything I’ve done and overanalyse whether it was the correct thing to say or do - it’s honestly driving me nuts as I can’t seem to get myself out of this circle. It was never this bad before I went on Mat leave and I feel like the only option is to quit.

Has anyone else gone through similar phase? 6months back in I feel everything should be more manageable or quite normal not to?!

Anyone? Some advice would be great

Yes, I've been there. Also had 13 months off and went back to a new team.

It was dreadful and I remember feeling so guilty that I didn't have enough time to parent 100% nor manage my job 100%.

Alls I can say is stick at it, it does get easier

It gets easier!
I had 13 months off on Mat Leave. It felt so strange being back at work. I had to adjust & adapt to the changes. I decided to go easy on myself and no be too critical of myself.

It was hard, but about 3 months later I found my feet again, and started to enjoy being back at work.

I was tired, but really appreciated my little family on my days off.

Do hope you feel better soon.

I started a brand new job in a new city where I knew exactly no one after my first mat leave, managing a well-established team, knowing I’d pipped one of my subordinates to the post for my job. Coupled with a non-sleeping baby, it was the most surreal and difficult few months of my life. I felt like a consummate actor at work every day, pretending I knew what I was doing. But necessity is the mother of all invention and I stuck it out. Six years (plus another baby) on and there’s no place I’d rather work. It does get easier!

Me too - started a new middle management job almost two years ago with one year old twins and spent the entire first year feeling like I was drowning. It has got better, but I really second guess myself all the time. I worry about stupid things I’ve said or done, which I never used to. I had imposter syndrome big time, but have just been offered a more senior management position so it can’t be coming across too much! Just keep going, and don’t beat yourself up too much if things don’t go well all the time, as parents sometimes we can’t do everything and (good) management often realise that

Following for some advice as I'm in exactly the same situation - 6 months in and I'm exhausted (non sleeping toddler) and can't quite seem to keep all the necessary balls in the air.

Very common, even without having time off. It's known as imposter syndrome.
Just remember no-one is more hated than Trump, and yet he still has a job where his cock ups affect millions of people every day.

Few have made more mistakes than Theresa and yet she still sleeps at night.

Someone would have had words by now if you weren't doing ok - You got this.

Thanks all for the advice! I do need to take a step back and say to myself what bad thing will happen if X Y Z happens and more often than not nothing bad does. I just overhype it in my head as I want people to respect me. It’s strange as I have this constant feeling people are judging me as I feel I come across not confident in my decision making and role...

I have thought about resigning as I also have awful manager who always likes talking about herself

Also I’ve never come across Imposter Syndrome will read up on that! :)

Hang on in there, it will get better.

Hang on in there. When is your appraisal? You can't be doing that bad a job, if your manager isn't having 'words' with you!

No she hasn’t - but I don’t think she offers constructive feedback. We used to be colleagues on the same level and got a promotion that I was working towards when I was on mat leave - so it’s been a bit strange!

Yes I am very conscious of doing s good job and overthinking everything (like I said driving me nuts) second guessing myself and total loss of confidence

Perhaps it’s the change above as well - my manager likes to take over and I was told first week back that she has never got on with other female managers... haha so reassuring!!