was my manager right to bring this up?

[milkshak3]

background: I work 20h. I have children, one of whom is severely disabled. My contacted hours are school hours as I have no wrap around childcare for my disabled DC. Work is aware of my role as a carer.

Last year, our team increased and work started to put in regular (every 6-8 weeks) team building events. The are during the working hours of my colleages (all full timers) but outside my working hours. Due to lack of support and no access to suitable childcare, I cannot simply join these work jollies that are lasting usually until 4 or 5 pm. fine with me. I am not upset to be the only one not being able to attend.

I had my annual review last month and whilst my line manager is very happz

posted too soon, line manage is very happy with my work but brought up my lack of team involvement in terms of never attending these team building events. I explained again my circumstances but I was told to 'make an afford'. It was recorded in my annual review paperwork that I should try to attend some of these meetings even though I said I cannot.

I plan to leave work anyways soon as childcare for my disabled child becomes and issue but this review has bugged me.

I spoke to a friend who said I should raise. grievance as this is disability discrimination (indirect discrimination, discrimination by association as it is linked to my caring responsibilities).

Is my friend right? would you raise it even though I will leave by the end of the Summer (haven't handed notice in yet as I have a last straw attempt in securing childcare running)...

the more I think about it the more upsetting I find this.

I work for a blue chip company if that makes a difference.

I know nothing about the legality, but simply from a logical and compassionate stance, you have a major point.

Yes I would raise it. Especially as you are leaving you have nothing to lose but the people who your manager manages after you have everything to gain iyswim?

It’s not acceptable to have ‘attend events outside your contracted hours’ as a review target. It so happens you can’t do it because you’re caring but frankly it wouldn’t matter if you were sat on your arse painting your toenails... no pay no work!

Your manager was out of line imo. If they want you to attend, they can schedule it during your contracted hours. You're not being at all unreasonable.

Whilst - as a fellow mum to a disabled child - I think you should raise this as a grievance ... Is it really worth it given that you expect to leave anyway? You'll already have a stressful life handling all the bureaucracy around your child's education etc, so think about whether you actually want the additional headache of facing having to put your side in a grievance.

Wait two months, put off the decision. There's nothing to say you have to put in a grievance immediately. If you get your childcare sorted so you're staying in work, then think about it.

To be honest, if you are planning on leaving in 2 months I would leave it. I work three days a week because of my caring responsibilties. Team meetings are always on a Thursday when I don't work. Tough really.

Does your company have exit interviews - thats probably where I would raise it

I'd flag it up - they have other options

1. You go for most of the day and leave
2. They start doing hours that fit in with part time workers and those with caring responsibilities
3. It would be seen very poorly by the outside world as discriminates on many fronts, carer, disability, part time workers etc ... very poor and discrimination - your manager should get an appraisal item stating must include all staff and not discriminate!!

If you are leaving anyway I’d save it for the exit interview if they do one.

yes, we get an exit interview. hadn't considered it but may keep it for that.

I think I will leave unless the magic childcare fairy pulls something out of her hat so there is a change I will stay, albeit small.

Are there timelines for raising these issues?

Thank you all for your input

Timescale for discrimination is 3 months - 1 day to raise it at a tribunal so if you were going to make a complaint then you should do it sooner rather than later

I would raise it now. Slightly different, but I got a negative remark in an appraisal for not managing my input to a project as well as my manager had hope. That was the manager who loaned me out to the project, knowing that the weekly update meetings were on my one non-working day of the week. Said manager was robustly reminded of this point and grudgingly withdrew the remark. I think sometimes they just need it spelt out to them.

Perhaps you could suggest times that would work for you and suggest that they run one event to those times to let you come to one, if it’s that important. I think we all can all guess what the response will be though...

Best of luck.

You are being treated really unfairly and, possibly, unlawfully (as you point out).

As a manager, I can truly say that I cannot understand why some employers behave like this. We have an annual team building and an annual strategy day (so two days each year). We try to accommodate as many people as possible but, given that not everyone works full-time, this just isn’t possible. For staff members not normally in when the events are taking place, we ask them to either come along and get time off in lieu, come along for part of the day or, if it’s impossible for them to attend, they can miss it without fear of it being cast up.

The more I’m writing this, the more deplorable I think it is and, given it’s a blue chip company that no doubt prides itself on its family-friendly and inclusive policies, perhaps raising a formal grievance is the way to go. The only thing I’d say is that their HR team will go into overdrive and it’ll no doubt be a stressful episode.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

No harm in raising it as a concern, but I wouldn't turn it into a grievance or discrimination claim, not if you're relying on a reference from them when you hand your notice it. It would become messy and complicated (and stressful!), for no real benefit.

Honestly I don't this qualifies as disability discrimination when it's not you that is disabled. Your boss has simply asked you where possible to make an effort to attend an out of hours event once in a while. We have a few of these a year, a pain but we suck it up as it's not that often.

It is indirect discrimination by association. I wouldn't raise a grievance but ask your manager to amend the notes of the meeting to show that you have advised them you are unable to attend the events due to your caring commitments connected to your disabled child. Then if he escalates it, it's documented from the outset that his expectations are unrealistic.

thanks all. will bring it up informally. if I leave I still have the exit interview where I will mention it and if I stay and it happens again, I can then raise it formally.

crazy, it's called discrimination by association. you can experience e.g. disability discrimination without being disabled.
m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=5362

Grievances of this type should always begin informally, but make a diary entry of times and dates. Having a complete and clear record of who said what on what day and time because you had concerns about this at the outset is useful evidence.

Being reasonable you gave the company a chance to resolve this informally. However if they fail to do anything about it, it does look to me like indirect discrimination. ET’s can award uncapped amounts for discrimination claims so it’s potentially worth pursuing (although I appreciate you may not want to do this).