How can I feel better about work?

[bebeboeuf]

I have been in my current job for 4 years
When I started there was lots of promise of career growth as the business grows

The business has grown fast.

I have been a fundamental player in that growth.

I have also had 9 months off for maternity leave and now work 32 hours a week.

They are flexible but it seems as soon as I became a mother all possible open doors for progression were shut.

They pay me ok. I think I am undervalued by about 10-15% which having spoken to the owner of the buiness seems to be something he will correct soon.

However, I don’t know if I should be feeling happy to have a position that is well paid and flexible and part time or if I am right in feeling that actually I should be progressing in other ways.

I’ve asked them outright if it’s because I’m part time and they have said no.

The position I had hoped to move into has just been filled externally by someone on paper who is very capable but I still feel in some way a bit disheartened that I didn’t even get a chance.

I feel so torn because I was at the point of considering upping my hours and focussing fully on my career or staying as I am and trying for number 2 instead.

It feels like maybe I’m better off staying out with the low stress and flexibility of let time

Please can anyone reassure me that my employers don’t think I’m a total waste of space now I’m a mother?

I am not sure what your evidence is for that given your employer has accepted your flexible working request and you think you are about to have a pay rise.

Was the job promotion not advertised? If it was why didn't you apply?

The job wasn’t advertised internally and it was kept quiet that they were looking externally so no opportunity

They want me to stay and they respect my abilities but they want me to stay doing the same job I’ve always done and I have far more experience than that which I would like to utilise to save getting bored

It sounds to me that you thrive best in a changing environment and enjoy building (client base, department, teams, technology platforms or whatever).

When your company is in a phase of fast growth, great, it suits you perfectly. But when the growth tails and it all reaches steady state, where's the challenge? Where's the opportunity?

Your company sounds OK to me, from what you've said, but I wonder whether you could do with a move to get back some of the challenge you lack?

I think this is very much down to what you want yourself (as you allude to yourself at the end of your OP).

When my DC were young I was happy to work in a PT, undemanding, flexible job. But ... (crucially) one that allowed me to sufficiently keep my skills up, so that when my DC were older and I wanted to focus more on my career, I was able to move into a more senior role and have since then been able to progress. Yes, I'm not where I would have been if I hadn't put my career on "pause" for a few years but actually that's ok. But interestingly, my DH, who did continue to progress in his career while our DC were young has since decided that he is not interested in the high presssured lifestyle, and has taken a step (actually several steps) back to give him a better life/work balance.

Maybe you need the classic "where do I see myself in 1 year/5 years/10 years" plan?

Thank you both PP.

That’s a good way to be thinking and I haven’t really considered what I want in future.

Maybe that’s where some dissatisfaction is coming from as I don’t know if I want the career or the growing family and once assumed I could have both at the same time.

I think you have had good advice from others.

Ultimately for me if I am not happy in a job I will look around and if a better opportunity comes up I will move. It is hypothetical at the moment but viewing and applying for roles is a good way of finding out what you are really into

Thanks itsboiledeggsagain

For some reason the applying is the part that scares me. I’ve been keeping an eye open and had calls from a few head hunters but I’m thinking maybe I’ve actually lost some confidence since becoming a mother.