Best DC age for me to go full time

[Janella]

I know a lot of mums have to work full time straight after having babies so I'm lucky that I've been able to work part time so far.

My career has suffered due to PT work and I've just accepted this, and been grateful to be able to do the school run half of the week etc. DCs are now 6 and 8 and I'm giving serious consideration to trying to move my career forward now - by going FT in September. I'll have a mix of (mostly) before/after school club and grandparents helping out (maybe 1 day).

My concern is my DCs are used to me being available all the time and I'm worried how they'll cope. Another friend has suggested I wait til they're older - 6 is still quite young and I don't HAVE to be FT for financial reasons, it's because I (selfishly?) want to move my own life forward a bit now. I'm turning 40 shortly and feeling like work & pension need a boost. Sadly I didn't have a great career set up before having DC so I'm still fairly junior in my field.

Anyone have any advice, tips or stories of making it work with similar age DC?? Should I wait another year or two?? Thank you.

I've just gone back to FT after a change of job. My DD is 7. It's been a bit tough making the changes to the routine but a few weeks in we're in the swing of things now. She goes to breakfast club a couple of times a week, family collect her sometimes and I work 2 days at home so I drop off/pick up those days.

Your children will be fine, and it's perfectly ok to want to move your life forward.

I went back full time when my DC were 3 and 5. The youngest had just got the 30 free hours and I work as a teacher so I get the holidays which makes it easier. I use a mixture of childminding and grandparents to manage the pick up and and my DH adjusted his working hours so he can drop them off. Everyone is happy and fine, kids love the childminder as they have fun at her house with other kids, and I pick them up from there about 5pm so I still pick them up - just from Cm instead of school.

I don't think you should agonise- your children are not babies and if you want to work full time then why shouldn't you. The extra money and pension contributions are worth it and your children are at school all day anyway! Good luck 😊

Thank you both x

I went full time when DC was 2 and will go back full time when I go back after maternity (6 months old). Needs must. It has to work for us so we make it work.
I wouldn’t out of choice but there isn’t one.
If you feel it’s time, it’s time

Do you have any child minder or after school nanny options? It’s only my experience but my dd struggled with being in a club setting after school, it’s too much for her and as you’ve got 2 dc, cm/at home babysitter might not be more than the clubs?

Yours maybe fine, it’s hard to tell. How tired do they seem after school? Are they full of beans and you have trouble dragging them home or are they really tired and keen to get home and relax?

Mine were 4 and 7 when I went back full time. DS’s were amazing, they settled in quickly with a childminder and I LOVE picking them up at 6pm, when I’ve missed the moaning hunger, feeding time! I get a fabulous hour and half of quality time with them before bed. Holidays are a mixture of childminder and unpaid parental leave and annual leave so all good.

I love doing something for myself, as as you said, in the back of my mind have been thinking about pensions. Although I don’t need to work, my husband can retire earlier and the pension pot will be bigger. The benefits far outweigh the negatives.

Thanks for your replies.

Endlesslyrepeating- my DD doesn't especially like after school club. I think this is probably why I'm a bit worried, you've hit the nail on the head.
DD (8) is very sensitive and finds it all a bit much, DS is fine. DD runs to me the minute I arrive and is always complaining about not liking the Club - or time with grandparents very much for that matter (my DM is lovely but has a harsh tone and volume and seems to set off the sensitivity reaction in DD quite a lot). CM would be better but there are only two in my village and both full. I've wondered about a nanny.

It’s worth pushing to ty and get someone, I know it’s so hard to find the right person, impossible at times but being in their home environment is so important for sensitive kids to manage their stress levels, it’s not even an age thing as mine has been consistently like this so it’s not a case of wait n years.

I’ve found this out the hard way - years of dragging her to childcare and ending up with quite serious anxiety issues.

But as you say, my other dc would be unaffected too, kids are so different!

Thanks - this is food for thought. I appreciate your insight.

I've set up a message thing on Care.com today so we'll see what that brings.

I haven’t and mine are teens. I work 4 days but tt only. In tt I would never catch up with myself as we have no help (apart from a cleaner) and I also need to (read - have the mental space) to help ds with his studying even if it’s checking he’s actually doing it and generally ‘be there’ for the DCs. It all depends on your household set up, if you get good holidays, you or your dh can be flexible with start/finish times etc. then I suppose it’s do-able. Also have no other commitments like elderly parents, hobbies that take you/dh out of the house a lot etc.

I’m starting 5 days term time only 8-3.30 in September. That’s plenty for me ( other end is the spectrum with the menopause !) My kids are 14 and 11. You can make sacrifices for so long, but pensions need contributing to and we are all living longer. As Justdance said, it all depends on your household set up. What works for one family may not work for the next.