Is it too late for me to retrain?

[helloandthankyou]

Hi all,

I am in need of some motivation here as I am a serial worrier and constantly battle with negative thoughts on a daily basis, which tend to overwhelm me.

I am 31 years old. I've had a good career as a fashion photographer over the past ten years. It's seen me travel to faraway places and meet some great people. However, last year I had my first baby and now all I want to do is provide for him.

Since I got my photography degree, I have just focused on photography and although I'm great at what I do and know the industry inside out, there isn't a linear path for progression. For all I know, I could be on the same salary as I am right now in ten years time. In fact my salary has now been the same for ten years now.

I feel very stuck, very negative and I feel like my choices in life have been all wrong. I know that a lot of new Mums feel this way once they become a parent and I'm not the only one; but I also know it's not healthy to go around beating myself up for my life choices day in and day out.

I want to retain to become a payroll assistant. I do my own books as a photographer and really enjoy being on top of the finances. I make sure my subcontractors get paid on time and that all my invoices are paid in a respectable time frame.

My question is..can I retrain? Will people take me seriously as someone who hasn't had a 'real' job after all these years? I have a chance to retrain as my partner is happy to support me and in that, I am extremely lucky.

My second question is ..has anyone had a baby and then suddenly realised how poor their life choices have been? Have you suddenly become overwhelmed with regret and disappointment like I have? (This isn't about my son, I love him and he is perfect but I feel deeply sorry and regretful that I didn't do better for him).

No negativity please - I am already feeling very anxious and crying a lot. I would love to hear some success stories. I just need some perspective.

X x x x

••retrain!

You sound a bit down helloandthankyou, are you OK?
You are but a spring chicken, and retraining is certainly possible. I did a degree at 49!
With 10 years as a professional photographer and all the experience you have, you might also consider using that, but in some role with a structured pay progression/pension etc. E.g. Medical photography, police/crime scene photography/Health and Safety Executive, teaching - there must be other similar roles that other poster might suggest.
Just go for it, whatever ‘it’ is.

31 is really young! Of course you can retrain.
If you are working for 45 years, you have only been doing this job for 10 years, that's less then a quarter of your working life.

You didn't make any poor choices, it sounds like you had an interesting life and got to see the world. You can use all those skills in your next career.

Is there anyway of continuing with the photography, creating a book or website, or moving in a different direction with it?

If you want to go in to accountancy, the just go for it. Aim high and you absolutely can do anything at your age.
I'm 10 years older than you and am about to start retraining this September hopefully. My age is not even entering my head, I hadn't time before now

I havent had a baby (yet!) So cant help with that bit but you are definitely not past retraining!!

And I think you're being unfair on yourself by saying that you've not had a "real" job for years! You've ran a successful business for years and have hands on experience doing accounts so you already have relevant experience!

I bet you're doing a fabulous job and I wish you all the best

Hello and thank you for your replies!

I suppose I am feeling quite down; I'm sure it will get better.

Photography can always be something I do in my downtime, even if I'm working my way up the corporate ladder. I can do weddings on the weekends if I'm feeling restless in my job.

Thanks for your advice and kind words x x x x

31 is young! You sound like you’ve lived a good life and travelled while you were free. Now you are settling down. A fashion photographer sounds like a good job to me. One of my friends is a portrait photographer, specialising in babies and children - could you do something like that instead of retraining?

31 isn’t too old to do something different though. I know people who have retrained when they are older than that. I think payroll is a good career, in that there seems to be a shortage of good payroll managers, based on when we tried to recruit one last year. You could find yourself in demand!

So you're unlikely to get any negativity on here! You've made a successful and enjoyable business once, and now circumstances have changed and you want to adapt. Fair enough. At only 31 you've probably got at least another 40 working years ahead!

I don't know about payroll assistant. That might be setting your sights a bit low. But the world is your lobster! Good luck!

Payroll assistant is a great start if you enjoy numbers. You can then move into accounting. It's great your partner can support you while you retrain so I'd take full advantage.

I'm also a new mum and also wishing I'd made different life choices. My primary goal is to provide for my dc. It's all I think about but I also want to do a job I love and I've fallen out of love with my career path too

Good luck xx

I did a distant learning course in just that when I had my first, I'm in another country so you would need to see if there are any online courses you can do?

I do sometimes think if I had gone down this route to begin with life might have been easier, but I had a great career, met good friends, earned good money and travelled with it! And may not have met DH too!

Congrats on bub!

I can't thing of a single darn thing that it's too late for at the age of 31!

Reevaluating your life after a baby is completely normal, yes. But honestly you're being much too hard on yourself and much too negative, which is your anxiety speaking.

There's nothing "not real" about your decade-long photography career. You did that and it was great but now you want to do something else. Don't be apologetic!

I retrained at 50 - as a photographer! Never too late!!

You have a degree, have you considered applying to graduate accountancy schemes? You would have a 3-4 year training contract, your employer would pay for your training (usually (ACA/ACCA/CIMA). I'm a mature student, I've got a place on the civil service fast stream finance scheme, I found having work/life experience really helped with the application process. It's not just for new grads either.

My MIL retrained as a nurse in her 40's after having 3 children. She's now in her 50's in a fairly high specialised post that she loves.

So absolutely you can. You're only 31. Please don't think you've made poor life choices it sounds like you have had a great career - just time for something that suits your situation better now.

(I don't have a baby yet, but am trying to establish a "proper" career after 7 years of admin as I don't feel worthy or like I have enough to offer a child. Which sounds stupid written down, but my head says otherwise)

This is so great; thank you everyone. What a dream it would be to be in demand! Rather than fighting for work.

I would actually love to have more admin experience because that way it would be easier to transition. At the moment my resume reads 'lead fashion photographer', 'lead photographer' etc. which I believe may be putting employers off before they've even had a look at my skills.

I am studying a course in Payroll online at the moment in the evenings and during nap times so that's a start. A graduate scheme would be fab; do you know where I can look for a graduate scheme in something like Payroll? I am currently looking at Payroll internships and having no luck as employers cynical about hiring someone with my work history, which I can understand.

It's great to hear your stories so thank you x

When I graduated Prospects was where all the graduate schemes were advertised - not sure if it still exists?

It sounds like you may need to change your CV to highlight the finance side of your job as a photographer, rather than the photography side. Also, when the little one is old enough for child care, you could see if you could get some temp jobs as a junior in a finance team.

You could also approach the big payroll outsourcers and see if you could get some work experience or temp job. Pay plus, Payescape, ADP Payroll, Sonovate are some that I’ve heard of.

There is a recruitment agency called Portfolio Payroll - no idea if they are any good or not but they are constantly sending me emails. You could give them a call and ask for advice with your CV and what experience/ qualifications you would need to have for them to be able to find you a position.

Don't be despondent! You are young. I have already retrained twice and I am only in my forties :)

You just need to describe yourself differently on your CV.

'Self-employed business manager/owner' is what you were. It doesn't matter if your business was photography or floristry.

That's a great idea - these are some great suggestions that I hadn't thought of so thank you everyone!

And thanks for the positive replies. It's immensely helpful after I've been so low.