Stay or go - need a boot up the bum or a hand hold, not sure which.

[pepsgreyjardigan]

Would appreciate some advice as I'm not sure I'm thinking clearly at the moment. Name change to protect the innocent etc.

My employer is going through a rough patch, with litigation and redundancies. It's hit my department particularly badly, and we've lost even more folk who have resigned - the kind of litigation going on does not reflect well on our department's profession iyswim, and people are leaving so they don't get tainted by association. (We haven't done anything wrong in our department, but people will judge us on what's in the public domain)

It's been a very upsetting and stressful year, but I've hung on for a couple of reasons. I've worked there for a long time and am due a good package if there is another round of redundancy; the company is paying for me to study for professional qualifications; and my husband is currently out of work. Plus geographically this is not a good area for either of our careers but we love living here and up to recently we both had good jobs - finding new positions locally or further away with remote working options will take a while.

I've also got a great boss - supportive, coaching and able to do a very tactful telling off when needed. Unhappily, my boss has recently handed in their resignation. This has really knocked me for six - embarrassingly cried and everything.

Everything in my head is saying - resign, go now. My new boss is a tosser and will do nothing to mitigate the stresses I feel. The department is in a death spiral with everyone scrambling to get out and not get lumbered with everyone elses's work. We can't recruit to fill the resignation slots because once people google our company they decline the job - or won't even come in for interviews.

I would need to give three months notice, and I don't care about having another job to go to. The mortgage is paid off, no kids living at home. This is what savings are for, right? I need to decompress and get this place out of my head before going somewhere new. I can use the time to finish my qualification and I'm confident I'd find work easy enough once I started looking.

Thing is, I can't get out of my head that somehow I'm being a bit of a snowflake about this. I'm lucky to be in a well paid job, but surely it's not normal to be sobbing in the shower every morning at the prospect of going into the office - and that was before my boss resigned.

This isn't AIBU but - I'm not BU about this am I?

Wow, your company is really going through it. Is it a large organisation?

I would get out and perhaps look at moving if both you and your husband are without work. You've said the area isn't conducive to your kind of careers.

Are they going to make more people redundant if they are struggling? If I thought there was going to be new wave of redundancies I'd probably hold out for that.

Is not normal, no. Will you have to pay back the study fees if you leave?
Would it be possible to get signed off sick for a couple of weeks so you can have a good think about your options?

Are they going to make more people redundant if they are struggling? If I thought there was going to be new wave of redundancies I'd probably hold out for that That's what's been keeping me going, but surely there comes a point at which mental health comes before bank balance?

Besides, we've lost so many through resignation that we're carrying loads of vacancies now - so they would go before actual people.

We don't want to move area - we're ideally placed for supporting elderly parents etc.

If you can cope mentally I would say hang on. Six months to a year will look completely different and your arse boss might be gone as well!

Will you have to pay back the study fees if you leave?
some, yes. sliding scale over a year. Happy to pay it - its several hundred pounds so manageable for me.

Would it be possible to get signed off sick for a couple of weeks so you can have a good think about your options?I was signed off last year for a couple of weeks with stress. At this point I'm not actually having anxiety attacks and having to hide in the toilet while I calm down, so I'd feel a fraud asking for it. I can function at work, just about.

Is it possible that the company might fold? I have to say it doesn't sound good if they can't even persuade people to turn up for an interview. I would at the very least get you CV updated and start looking around for other opportunities, just in case.

Is it possible that the company might fold? Technically yes, but all the litigation would have to go against us. Other departments are not at the death spiral stage like ours. I think a more likely outcome is that we get taken over by a competitor - but they're going to be waiting for the outcome of the court cases, and that's over a year away. I'm not prepared to wait that long.

Just to follow up on this, I have decided to resign. DH is supportive. Thanks for your thoughts!

That's good. Hopefully there won't be too much time between nice boss leaving and you leaving so that you won't have to deal with tosser boss for long.