my heart is breaking......please tell me your positive stories about the first day back...

[massivebigpantsface]

I am only going back 18 hrs a week, over 3 days. My first full day 9-6, is on my birthday (sad - very bad timing!) next thursday.
I've not left dd that long before and I just feel like I will miss her so dreadfully, I just cry. She will be with my mum and I know she will be fine, it is me that is the problem - I don't want to be without her, I feel sick and I'm just going to miss her so much!

Please share your good first day stories and give me some reasurance!

I felt like you, could have written your post. Leaving was difficult, don't get me wrong, but... I managed to drink a hot cup of tea, got to eat my lunch in peace, caught on on the news/banking/etc in my lunch hour, and the day absolutely flew by. When I picked up my dd, she'd had a lovely day being spoilt by my Mum and had a very big smile for me.

Worrying about leaving her was worse than actually leaving her iyswim. I got so wound up about it. Once you get into the flow you will be fine.

Echo everything Twofalls said - I really did not want to go back as I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my DS - now, 6 months later, I don't regret it for a minute (although my work is crap but that is a whole other story!).

I only work 3 days a week which is a lovely balance and DS loves nursery so I think we both look forward to my work days (iyswim)

that is encouraging, thanks, i know it will be fine once we get into the swing of it but i so wish i could just pop her in my bag!

how old were your dc's?

lol at the idea of you popping her in your bag.

Mine was just under 6 months, she just felt so little for me to be leaving her and it was just as we started weaning and I just didn't feel ready. She is 15 months now and I still work 3 days a week and it works well for both of us.

But I remember feeling how you feel so acutely.

Mine was just over 6 months, again seemed so little but in some ways it was better as he settled at nursery before seperation anxiety kicked in.

You do miss them so much - but it does make seeing them at the end of the day so much sweeter (and, yes you do count the minutes until you can leave work!) - I actually get all excited in the car driving to the nursery at the thought of seeing my gorgeous little man and the huge smile I get when I walk in

I went back full time after DS1 when he was 11m, (full time cos I hadn't told them yet I was pg again and wanted full maternity pay again tee hee), first morning was a bit wierd but dp dropped him at nursery and I went to work, within half an hour it was like I had never been away and it did me good to have some intelligent conversation and do some number crunching after months of just chatting at playgroups.
With DS2 I went back this Jan after 7 m, and boy oh boy after 7 months of 2 under 2's I can honestly say I went back for a rest! By 10am drinking my first warm cuppa for months, a pile of work that I could just prioritise and knew that it would all get done...
Oh and the lunchtime to just pop out to the shops without having to get two ready and heave a double buggy in and out of the car....
I honestly think the thinking about it is worse than the doing.
Oh and on my first morning back after DS1 I did cry when I got to work and everyone asked how I was, they were all lovely. Email a pic of her to your work email and put it as your screensaver.

I went bak to work 4 weeks ago, leaving my ds (now 7 1/2 months) with a child minder.

The first day was hard - is was so strange riving with no little person sitting in the carseat. But like FJ, as soon as I got back, it was so great to see everyone, and get stuck into something that wasn't about babies, the day flew by.

That night I drove home like a maniac, was gutted to find ds had already gone to bed, and spent a long time sitting in his room staring at him sleeping.

Since then though, I havne't looked back - ds loves the change of scene and different experiences he gets with the childminder and is always smiley and calm when I collect him. I feel SO much happier, having a bit of balance in life. I love the banter at work, the chance to feel like an individual again, not just 'Littlejay's Mum', to feel under pressure again, in a different way than at home, to be able to have proper adult opinions on things, and mostly, a bit of adult company away from ds for a bit.

I think I value the time I spend with him more now ( I only work 3 days, so I still get plenty) and make an effort to do fun things with him.

Good luck - I'm sure it won't be as bad as it seems now!!

[brave smile]

No doubt i'll be drumming up some more support on the dreaded 'night before'.

Echo everything that has been said. Before I had DD, I felt sure I'd be fine going back but when the day came (she was 8 mths) I felt terribe. We don't have family close so she is in nursery 3-4 days a week. I work full time but some days from home when she is at home with me and I catch up in the evening (like now - ho ho !).

She'll be 2 on saturday and the time has flown by but we made to choice for me to go back to work so there'd be a bit extra money and despite a few pangs of guilt, its working out great.

We also said we'd look out for the signs of her struggling and try and find a plan B but she's the light of our lives and a beautiful well adjusted little girl.

One tip if you can stretch to it is to have a bit of help around the house or with ironing. I started that recently and it really makes a difference - more time with kiddies at the weekend, etc.

Just want to echo what everyone else has already said. I went back about three weeks ago, 4 days a week and DD, now 7 months, in nursery. I HATED the first day and was miserable and desperate all week. But by the time week 2 came around I was just fine. Its all about getting used to a new routine and structure to the day and I feel just so much more of a rounded person now I am back. And also feel on a much more even keel with DH. Does help that DD is v. happy at nursery and that I pick up a happy, albeit tired, girl every day. Also, I just LOVE my day off with her and really, really appreciate it rather than yearning for her bedtime as I used to sometimes when it was 24/7. Just remember that it will be awfully hard at first but that will pass. Good luck and do come back here for support. It REALLY helped me in my first difficult week.

oh poor you!!!

I went back to work after having my DD on my birthday too!

TBH I cried all the way to work, burst into tears everytime somebody said her name but I got used to it VERY quickly

When DD started nursery she just tottered in, no clinging etc so i think it was good for her

the first day back is the biggest hurdle to get over, but it is the anticipation which is worse
i went back full time when DS was 6 months old and he is in nursery full time
you know your DD is with your mum so that is a plus - ring her every hour if you need to
it is harder for you than for your DD believe me

i think the main thing is to be happy with childcare so you aren't really worried and can get on with feeling non-specific guilt. i went back when ds 13m and it was fine, felt a bit odd at first but he is so happy with cm that has only ever complained once in the year i've been back.

Just scanned the thread as I am in work, about to start ( have reduced hours).

I must be the exception, I was dreading going back to work but I LOVEd my first week. I kept telling everyone how fab it was to be able to go to the loo on my own and finish a cup of coffee whilst still warm !

The initial excitement has worn off now, but its still ok. We have a wonderful CM and DS is very happy there, if he wasn't happy I think it would be different as when our CM was on hols he went to a different one and although she is v good he wasn't used to her and cried when I dropped him off, that was heartbreaking and I spent all day worrying about him ( apparently he stopped after 3 mins anyway and seemed v happy when I went to pick him up)

God, my first day back after having dd was WONDERFUL. She was 4 months old.

I loved the adult conversation
the intellectual stimulation
the coffee shop
the deciding when I'd have lunch. alone.

all of it. And your MUM has her, it'll be absolutely fine. Btw, I was a sahm with ds but much, much prefer woth. And 18 hours is nothing, it'll fly by.

Like the last two posters, I got a wonderful buzz when I arrived at work for the first day after maternity leave. People to chat to, coffee to drink in peace. Lunch to have with friends. etc. dd1 was 4 months. It was lovely.

I got the same buzz with dd2 and dd3, I think it was a bit easier for me than for some because we staggered the starting-childcare and starting-work, so that my dds started at nursery a couple of months after I'd started back at work (before that DP and I arranged the childcare between us). I think if you can do that it takes a big burden away - new childcare plus back at work is a lot to cope with. If you're happy with dd being at your mother's that should really help, knowing that she's fine.