Hating work after maternity

[Hyds]

This question/issue has probably been asked a lot on here.
I returned to work 8 weeks ago after 9 months off. I tried to extend this by using my annual holidays but this was rejected and I lost my holiday days. So I already had a negative view of going back.
I have also moved locations but still working for the same company.
I did not want to go back to work as I was already disliking my job but for financial reasons I have to go back for 12 months.
I am also in a new role which is very demanding and I have had to be trained up on many in-house systems. Which I am struggling to get my head around as I am exhausted. I am still bf so DS is still waking in the night and usually only settles for me.
My partner works for the same company but he has had to work away in the week.
As i have moved i do not have the support system i had when i was on maternity and feel isolated and struggling to keep up with eveyday stuff.
I have had to go back full time and we are out of the house for 11 hrs a day with the commute to child care and work.
We asked work to not send my partner away whilst I settled back in there are others that could do this for him and they could of swapped there weeks away but this was rejected.
I have to force myself to go to work. There have been a few occasions where i have had to take a moment because i have got emotional about going to work and really do not want to go into the office. The people i work with are good people and the actual work is not that bad i would have felt different before having a baby.
Has anyone else experienced this and do you have any tips of how to change this feeling of work.

Legally, your employer should have paid you for that leave accrued on maternity leave if they didn't allow you to take it.

I had this, I had problems going back after my first maternity leave (job given to my cover and I was sidelined for everything) I stuck with it and got pregnant again, returned after second mat leave then found a new job.

If you are really struggling could you look for something else? Would you be able to work from home one day to save time / money commuting ? Put in a flexible working request and maybe try and drop a few hours - going by what you’ve said though it sounds like they wouldn’t grant it.

How often is your little one waking at night? Sleep deprivation is probably making everything ten times harder for you, have you considered night weaning?

Hope the situation improves, it’s a horrible feeling when you dread going to work

I have put in my notice but I have to give a year . The latest problem I have had is that they needed me to start earlier which would not be a problem if my partner was here. I explained the nursery does not open that early. And their reply was make phone calls and find childcare. And that they are already making allowances for me. Hinting that they have put me on fixed hrs and are allowing me to pump as am still breast feeding. Not the first time they have referenced this. The boss does not understand childcare or ppl wanting to spend time with their family as they have made some very questionable comments to other people I work with. I am going to put in for flexible hrs.

You need to call Maternity Action and check your rights regarding pumping etc. You do have them! Look, a year is not that long. Stick it out and look for another job. Do not let them bully you into quitting. It does get easier once children start sleeping etc. You’re in a tough phase

I also agree you should have been paid for that leave. Give these people a call:
www.maternityaction.org.uk/

Can you take sick leave?