Well, I didn't get the job. Not sure where to go from here. Anyone fancy commiserating with me?

[Cloudhopper]

After an incredibly long saga, facing a 'sort of' demotion (more money but feels like a step back) following mat leave, I have really worked hard for 6 months to make an impression.

I have brought loads of loose ends together, motivated people, taken extra responsibility, been exceptionally flexible on my days off.

I thought I had really pulled it out of the bag, and loads of people were commenting on how great my work was. I made a key presentation at Board meetings with positive feedback from all quarters etc. Senior manager colleagues reckoned I would walk it.

Finally I went to the interview for the promotion. I came top in the occupational and ability tests but they said I was too nervous (!) and therefore gave the job to an external candidate.

How do I pick myself up from here and carry on?

Well, you're the expert nooka.

I probably hated those questions because I couldn't easily answer them! This of course doesn't necessarily mean that they weren't effective in the interview.

Mind you, I have to wonder why, when there were two talented and motivated internal candidates, we weren't in the running. Surely they should have been developing us? They have known the post holder has been looking for jobs for about 3 years.

In my organisation right now, I hold a lot of skills and knowledge that I am reluctant to take elsewhere - it feels like a waste. Maybe that is sour grapes or I could be right? I actually might know as much about what we need as them, but I am not in the driving seat. That's what they didn't find out with the sort of questions they asked.

The other person may have more finely honed interview skills and may in fact be more ready/suitable for the job. But without taking into account the other factors, they will never really know whether it was the best solution.

I also realise that they won't either know or care whether this was the right thing. You make a decision and you go with it. It is never the end of the world. God knows I have handled difficult times where people have left and taken the knowledge with them, and the new people turned out to be only human after all.

For some reason this has really wound me up, and I apologise because I really do appreciate your response nooka.

I don't mind scenario questions - there is a place for them. But not to the exclusion of any other question, with no warm up and no reference to previous experience or personal qualities.

I have interviewed many many other people. At least in the tens, maybe not hundreds. The interview was not well designed, but hey ho, that is the luck of the draw.

It is a real nightmare now for me, because I am tied into the staff nursery for my little children, and not free as a bird to leave and find something else.

So pardon me if I have a huge chip on my shoulder about it all. How I long for those days where all that mattered about a job was the salary and the responsibilities.

Sorry - I didn't mean to sound unsympathetic! I think that going for jobs internally is really hard, and I can see that you are in a real bind with your childcare etc. Interviewing isn't a very good way to choose people really - very inexact (not that anyone has ever found something better). One thing to bear in mind is that it may not be that you performed poorly but that the successful candidate performed very well. "Too nervous" is a poor bit of feedback, because you can't work with it, so try and get somethig more precise. You could ask for copies of the notes made at your interview (I had a candidate do this a while back because they were concerned about discrimination) although that may only be possible in the public sector. I guess re the questions they may have felt that they didn't have to ask you any of the personal qualities/experience type questions because they knew you were OK on that? We have to ask every candidate the same set of questions, so it would be weird not to do the "why do you want this job/what do you have to offer" type questions because with the external candidate you have no idea. Anyway. I do appreciate it's tough, but you have to hold on to the fact that you have had lots of positive feedback, and hope for another opportunity, I guess.

Oh, and don't feel bad about being wound up (not sure if that was the situation or my post) it's not surprising - very hard to take being told well you were good enough for a while but not for permancent IYSWIM. Do you feel that the job had been sort of promised to you? We have had a few instances at work where someone felt that the job was theirs, after covering effectively for a while and then have felt enormously knocked back when they didn't get it at interview, and I do think it is very tough. The only thing I can say is that where they have taken the situation well that has been recognised, and other opportunities have come their way. Hope that's true for you

Sounds like you know why you didn't get it but better luck next time. Most people who apply for promotions don't get them - it's just the way it is but it's disappointing at the time.

..and lots of people are really bad at running interviews, sadly. They really could do with interview training but that's just how it is. It isn't usually unlawful.

Yeah, sorry nooka. I was responding to your comments, and I was starting to get really upset about the whole thing.

I realise that it doesn't really matter now whether it was a bad interview/unfair etc, because it is over and decided now. There is no point getting annoyed or disillusioned or analysing whether it was right or wrong.

All I can do is learn from it and move forward.

I wouldn't say that I thought the job had been promised to me by my boss. But I suppose all the positive feedback from many quarters - all the people I work with, many of the senior managers/board members/management consultants etc. had gone to my head. I wasn't prompting people - they asked me if I had applied and then said they thought I would 'walk' it.

I have made this mistake before which is to assume too much. Deep down I did think this was mine for the taking.

It has been a good blow to the confidence, but I will bounce back. I have to go into work and face people for the first time tomorrow, but in a strange kind of way I am not dreading it any more.

It is only a job and I am now just as lucky to have my job as I was before. I will just work hard and get on with it and hope that this way I will get what I want one day.

Well, there is an epilogue to this story!

Just wanted to let those of you know who had kindly offered encouragement and advice throughout the saga.

I saw my boss this week for the first time since the interview. He was great about it all. He said lots of very encouraging things, lots of positive feedback. He basically said that he was sure I could have done the job, but only one person can "win". He kind of said he admired my cheek and the way I had bounced back from the news to be positive again.

The other candidate was better - she had a lot more experience at this level, and could definitely demonstrate that she is a "safe pair of hands".

However, my boss made it clear that this doesnt reflect badly on me, and they definitely want to keep me.

There are a couple of options on the table, one of which is a very high profile project job which I would love. If not that, then there is likely to be some kind of payrise or promotion to keep me there rather than applying for other jobs.

So none of it was a waste of time, and no matter what the outcome now, I am really glad that I went for it. I am on Cloud 9 actually. Just goes to show that if at first you dont succeed - try, try again.