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I'm being bullied at work

34 replies

ssd · 06/04/2019 16:36

And don't know what to do about it. Am in unite union and am planning on speaking to them. No use speaking the HR, there's none. The boss man is friends with the person bullying me. The bully is allowed to drink at work and everyone knows he drinks. It's bar and restaurant work I'm in. This person has bullied me for years and it's been noticed by others. I've had enough. I want the unions advice. I'm taking it further. In my work place there's a committee who are voluntary and one person paid in charge. Very much an old boys network. The person bullying me has drunk at work for years and although management and the committee know, nothings been done. He lost his licence as he regularly drives home drunk, lost his licence straight after a shift at work, was straight back behind the bar to work with access to all the drink he wants.
Has anyone any advice, am hoping to speak to the union rep next week.

OP posts:
wigglypiggly · 06/04/2019 17:26

What's your main concern? his drinking, his behaviour or you being bullied. what sort of bullying is it? whatever it is it's horrible. You need to be clear what you want from the Union.

ssd · 06/04/2019 17:32

The fact that he makes snide and desparaging remarks behind my back to other staff saying I'm lazy and do nothing, whilst I'm running my backside off doing 3 jobs at once and he's doing nothing except drinking. And everyone knows what he's doing but no one does a thing about it.

OP posts:
Annietheacrobat · 06/04/2019 17:37

What is you role? Is leaving an option? Bar and restaurant work is not in short supply

OutOntheTilez · 06/04/2019 17:56

I agree, you should consider finding another job. There should always be employment in the bar and restaurant industry, I'd think.

A few months ago on Mumsnet a Workplace Bullying thread appeared. Maybe you can try posting there as well:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/employment_issues/3432297-Workplace-Bullying-Support-Thread

sandi2019 · 06/04/2019 18:07

Hi OP.

So....a working man's club...?

How long have you worked there?

Your Unite rep will likely raise this on your behalf as a grievance or will ask that you do this yourself.

You need to spend some time thinking about your specific concerns (I.E when you say you're being bullied...you should come up with specific incidents, dates and times and any witnesses.....also an explanation if you're raising issues that aren't recent and you didn't report them at the time (perhaps you were in fear to report them)).

If you cant come up with specific incidents, this will be difficult for you to progress.

If it is a working man's club (or something similar)....it would not be unusual for voluntary members of the committee to hold your grievance meeting and conduct any investigations.....just giving you the heads up about that. If they're impartial, then this would be deemed acceptable. It doesn't have to be a paid member if staff.

If you do not feel the person who is assigned to your case is impartial then you and your union need to make a huge song and dance over that (this may force them to engage with a completely impartial, external consultant).

Keep your eye on things after you've raised your grievance......it isn't unusual for committee members (and the accused....especially if he's in drink) to discuss your case openly with each other and other customers........gossip.....at the bar......if this was to happen it would obviously be something else to add to your grievance.

It would be highly unusual for committee members (and, in my experience, Chairs/Bar Managers/Stewards) to be competent in employment issues....also giving you the heads up about that.

Unite are sh*t hot at what they do.

Might you also add to your grievance that the bully is in breach of health and safety regulations by attending work in drink?

Suggest to them that they need to conduct an urgent assessment in to the risk of this individual attending work in drink (if there is a risk...this can be sufficient grounds for him to be removed frkm the workplace). Also tell them that the Club will be vicariously liable if they are aware this person is attending work in drink and something then happens to him, you or your colleagues or customers as a result of this....there is no doubt about this).

Also....if you can tag any of this bullying behaviour to one or more of the protected characteristics......they will (or should) shite themselves about that. Protected characteristics include sex, pregnancy/maternity, race, religion, disability, age, sexuality (have a Google of them).

If you do tag your complaint onto a protected characteristic (not saying you should do if there isn't an obvious problem)....then you will be protected from any unfair treatment as a result of raising that complaint.

This will include ensuring you do not continue to be subject to a hostile working environment after your complaint has been raised.....some workplaces suspend the accused to ensure this. It also means not cutting your hours....nor moving your working area or anything else that disadvantages you.

If you do raise that complaint formally, you should expect a formal invite to a grievance meeting with the right to be accompanied and sufficient notice. You should also be given the option to appeal if you're unhappy with the decision.

Let us know what Unite rep has to say....I am confident they'll be able to assist you.....the ones I have met (many, many) are extremely knowledgable and competent.

sandi2019 · 06/04/2019 18:08

Ps. I dont agree with the PPs.
Do not be bullied out of your job.

wigglypiggly · 06/04/2019 18:27

I'd get someone to make a formal complaint about his drinking behind the bar in full view of customers to the manager, commitee and health and safety executive or trade commerce.

ssd · 06/04/2019 18:30

I'm absolutely not being bullied out of my job. He did make a sexist remark towards me recently and it was heard by another staff member. It wasn't banter it was rude and designed to put me down and humiliate me. I've never formally complained about him till now as I have never felt supported. But I have a new line manager who supports me and has seen what's happening. I was told recently that he has been making these remarks about me since 6 years ago. I've been there over ten years.
I've just utterly had enough.

OP posts:
ssd · 06/04/2019 18:31

There has been complaints in very recently about his drinking. Nothing has changed.

OP posts:
wigglypiggly · 06/04/2019 18:34

Is it a club or group that's run by a charity or private company, they must have a drinking at work policy.

sandi2019 · 06/04/2019 18:42

Get that sexist remark in your grievance, OP. Also reference the witness. Be specific about the detail of the remark (actually state what the remark was).

Include that you deem this conduct to be sex discrimination under the Equality Act.

As such, the Club are now obligated to protect you from the alleged perpetrator whilst your complaint is ongoing.

Explain to them that, if they do not, you will be left with little choice but to escalate a claim for discrimination and victimisation (victimisation is you making a complaint under the Act and then being treated unfairly as a result of it....unfair treatment can be deemed the Club not protecting you from being exposed to the perpetrator after you have complained about him...)

......I'm sure your Unite rep will be ALL over that!

daisychain01 · 06/04/2019 19:11

The reality is that bullying is not against UK law. Harassment targeted at you due to a protected char such as sex, race, disability etc, is illegal. Unless you can prove it's the latter, it will be difficult in the circumstances of your employment that you've describe, to force them to accept the situation and take action. It's a closed shop if they're all buddies together.

I'm not sure why you have put up with it for years, but I think your best move is out the Exit Door and leave 'em to it!

ssd · 06/04/2019 19:13

Thanks, I'll take all this advice on board. My work place isn't like a normal job even though we're on payroll etc all above board, it's run by one person and a committee of elderly volunteers. There's no mention of contracts, HR dept etc etc. I joined a union as another member of staff fell out of favour and had her overtime stopped for good, just because they were annoyed at her. No notice, nothing, just we don't pay you overtime now. And the staff sickness policy is you don't get paid the first 3 days... Then SSP.... Unless your face fits and you kiss arse then you get paid full pay straight away.
Legislation has passed them by.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 06/04/2019 19:14

Is this job really worth all the hassle though? There must be much nicer places to work than with a bunch of bullies who get drunk on duty.

ssd · 06/04/2019 19:14

I've been there years as it fitted in with the kids and apart from this arsehole drunk person, everyone else is nice.

OP posts:
sandi2019 · 06/04/2019 19:15

Re: drinking at work policy as suggested by Wriggy....I think it is a good idea to ask for this policy when you raise your grievance. You are entitled to....a colleague who is in drink has the potential to affect your welfare at work.

(I bet they will not be able to provide you with it!) Or they'll dig out a policy last amended in 1964 😂 x

ssd · 06/04/2019 19:21

I've never seen a policy on anything.

OP posts:
OutOntheTilez · 06/04/2019 19:42

. . . apart from this arsehole drunk person, everyone else is nice.

I understand, OP. I worked in a place where everyone was so nice and wonderful, but my boss was a sociopath and an arrogant, vile human being. After many years I couldn’t justify sticking around anymore as my mental and physical health were deteriorating.

I hope your meeting next week goes as you hope but remember, you’re not stuck there and you do have other options.

daisychain01 · 06/04/2019 19:51

ssd it's like on the Relationships board when someone comes on and describes their abusive dH who beats them up and calls them fat, but apart from that they're a great dad.

If you were to move to a job where you were respected and where they had proper HR, policies, decent working conditions, you'd wish you'd done it sooner. Just like all the women who leave abusive men, they wished they'd done it sooner. Your situation is no different, you deserve better, but only you can decide to walk away.

wigglypiggly · 06/04/2019 19:58

There must be some sort of health at work policy, employers handbook, is it a registered organisation.

Annietheacrobat · 06/04/2019 20:11

Agree with Daisychain . Is this particular job really worth the hassle? Of course you shouldn't be forced out of a role you otherwise enjoy and your union should support you in this. But realistically can you see the situation changing?

Annietheacrobat · 06/04/2019 20:21

Though I appreciate that working at the local club must be different to a random bar, and so why you might not just want to jump ship.

ssd · 06/04/2019 20:22

I hear you and I know you are right.
I just don't want to let the prick win.

OP posts:
Annietheacrobat · 06/04/2019 20:29

Well if you have the energy for it, and otherwise enjoy the job follow the steps suggested above. Good luck.

Macaroonmayhem · 06/04/2019 20:31

Can you reframe it in your mind that leaving is not letting them win but as a positive choice - you taking control of the situation and deciding to stop them harming you? My experience of making a complaint at a place with policies on everything is that bullying is v hard to prove especially if the person is ‘protected’ in any way, such as being more senior or, in your case, being part of the old boy’s network. In the same situation, I moved for the good of my mental health and thrived in my new job. I suggest you do the same - don’t give them any more of your precious time and energy.

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