How do you know when enough is enough

[YogaQueenBee]

I’m hoping someone can offer some words of wisdom.

I have been with my employer for 9 years. I loved my job. I love my company. I was so passionate about it. It’s hard work, fast paced, professional role deal with members of the public.

It all started to go abit sour for me when I fell pregnant. I was sidelined, over looked for promotion and genuinely
My quality of work allocated dropped.

I took my maternity leave (14 months) and came back thinking all would work out. It hasn’t. I have been back almost 18 months and it’s just awful. I’m part time but run a full time case holding. I’m dealing with a lot of unhappy clients as my boss thinks I’m good with them. In basically spend my day being shouted at. I was assaulted last week by a client in reception and I’m just at breaking point. I’m stressed out my head, can’t aleep, I’m off my food and have come out in a rash all over my body. I’m snapping at my toddler and arguing with my husband. I’m miserable .

I spoke to my boss about feeling overwhelmed and lack of support and he just said I can’t handle it anymore. I am looking for a new job but the market isn’t great in my sector . As soon as I have something I will resign but I worry for my sanity. I can’t even take a holiday for the fear of my workload when I’m back.... I don’t know if to get my head down and plough on or take some time off sick. I have never had a day of sick ever! I wouldn’t even know what to say to the Dr.

Has anyone been in this position before ?

I'm very sorry you are having such a hard time. Do you have a third party you could go to other than your boss? Hr dept?

You can tackle this a couple of ways.
Talk to HR - I usually advise to always put your concerns in writing. By putting it in writing not only does it clear your head, HR may treat your letter as a grievance (especially the alleged detrimental treatment you have suggested since returning from Mat leave). Do you have a harassment policy to cover your protection regarding harassment at work? You should never be subjected to behaviour that leaves you crying and an emotional wreck! Your employer is vicariously liable for that and you should tell them immediately that this happened to you (again, in writing).

My advise for what it's worth is think hard about what you want from this and then set out to get it. If you talk to your boss about it again don't allow him to dismiss you so easily. Be strong and forthright if you can be - explain the problem (overwhelmed with work, unsupported?) and then present the solution too (review allocation of work, working additional hours from home for example). Don't just say this is the problem without having a solution ready that works for you.

Whatever you decide to do - you have to decide whether you're ready to step up and say I'm not accepting this as ok and I want something doing about it - or are you ready to just move on and leave it behind you? By the sounds of your boss you will have a fight on your hands to gain recognition but buckle in and you can do it. You deserve a workplace where you are respected and treated professionally.

Good luck x

I've just seen you said you were assaulted by a client - and your employer took no action???????

Thanks for your comments. I absolutely need to decide what to do. I can’t face working there anymore.

I deal with vulnerable people so outbursts are not uncommon but we shouldn’t be meeting certain people alone but we are so short staffed that I had too. I was physically ok just shaken up. Boss just said take a chaperone next time I see him. I said there won’t be a next time but boss is refusing to take his case off me. It’s a massive mess to be honest.

I applied for two new jobs today and I left at 5 on the dot . This has surprisingly made me feel more positive like I have done something to make this situation better

I'd put in a formal complaint about your boss refusing to reallocate this case to someone else.

I'd also be asking HR why you have a full-time caseload when you only work part-time.

Are you a member of a union?

The problem is your boss' inability to manage. Not you. Take your fabulous self somewhere where they will value you.

The fact you left at 5 on the dot and felt positive speaks volumes.

I detest my job but for personal reasons beyond my control, I have to do it at present.I absolutely plan to leave as soon as I'm able. Because I "know" this, a lot of the stress is manageable. I smile, nod and do "just enough" to get by. I'm an "achieved" rather than the "excelled" I used to be.

I also leave on the dot, don't go over and above and basically just get through the day. I've stopped putting myself forward for things and, if anything, realised that I'm just a number. My health and well-being are more important.

for you

The problem is your boss' inability to manage. Not you.

^ This