Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

How to stop caring about my job

4 replies

AnnieMay100 · 01/04/2019 10:05

Bit of background - single mum, literally no excitement in my life, currently working a job I hate but struggling to find something else as I don’t drive so can only find jobs local to me which is impossible.
I have been working there for 5 years, initially loved it and have good friendships with most colleagues but the general job itself is mentally draining. Had some issues about 2 years ago 2 of my staff weren’t doing their job and I didn’t follow it up with correct procedure so found myself in some trouble.
Since then paranoia about being sacked makes me obsess slightly over everything being perfect and done by the book whereas a lot of my colleagues are relaxed and have no consequences even if they make a worse mistake than me. (Kind of bitter about that)
I have had to work with and train new staff constantly (everyone works in pairs) who tend to leave after around 6 months when they realise how depressing it is. It’s a boring underpaid job that most use as a stop gap before or just after uni so turnover is constant. (2 this year already)
However my problem seems to be that I’m overly protective of said job. If a new colleague makes any changes even moves my paperwork around I feel defensive and annoyed. It’s been run the same way since I began and I resent anyone new making changes or trying to take over. I even came back on a Monday to find the cleaner had moved some plants around and I felt annoyed it didn’t look how it should. I don’t feel threatened by the staff, I just don’t appreciate them meddling. Usually if they make changes it’ll be something I have to spend my own time correcting and often feels deliberate on their part as they know I’ll do it. Because of this the work is always 80/20 never 50/50 because I prefer getting on with it myself as I know it’s done properly. Of course I then get taken advantage of as they have light work and I feel annoyed I’m stuck with more and harder worker than them.
The young girl I am with currently for the past week has assured me she will work her way up and take my job! Also being difficult with her training and needs constant reminding. It’s becoming awkward as I can’t get on with her at all and made me realise how stressful it is repeating this with new staff regularly. My boss won’t get involved so it’s down to me.
It’s given me a bit of a wake up call that it’s not normal behaviour. I don’t get paid enough to care, I should switch off when my hours are over but I over invest my time into a job I hate and can’t explain why. Could this be from the lack of anything going on in my life? Hidden fear of messing up again? As a single parent this our only income. I don’t want to make new staff uncomfortable or become ‘that colleague’ I generally get on fine with everyone, how do I move on from this? I don’t make it awkward as I keep it to myself and ‘return everything to it’s right place’ at the end of the day (key holder). I hate dreading work the next day when I should be enjoying my time with my children. Finding a new job is the aim but it’s very difficult to find good work in my area so I need a way of coping til then as I feel like I’m on the verge of snapping. Am I going crazy?

OP posts:
AnnieMay100 · 02/04/2019 10:46

Anyone?

OP posts:
newfor2019 · 02/04/2019 13:53

Hi ! I know I'm not crazy yet, but these last few months I've had my moments. Threatened with redundancy last Nov, then told I was safe in Jan, accused of a making a racial remake in Feb, thrown down the disciplinary road, received a final written warning and now will be redundant end of this month. I'm on the sick due to anxiety, need another job, cant drive & my home town is a dead town. I need some good luck for a change or I may well go crazy ………………...

swingofthings · 02/04/2019 17:48

AnnieMay, it sounds like you need to feel in control and that means never letting go. It's totally understandable as, as a single mum, you do indeed need to be in control so that you can support yourself and your kids. It's a very hard place to be in and it is so hard to find the right balance.

Sadly, you might need to consider this need for control as you could find yourself repeating the same cycle in a new job. At the sane time, a new job might be the chance to start afresh.

blueshoes · 02/04/2019 18:21

How old are your dc? Since 5 years have lapsed since you started in this job, I assume they are now at least school age. If they are older, you might find yourself able to take a little risk and decide to move on to pastures new.

People do get stale in jobs and 5 years is more than enough time in one place. Unless you plan to stay forever (which may not be a choice anyway in this fickle job market, as no one is safe from redundancy outside the public sector), anything longer than 5 years does not add anything to a CV unless you are promoted and can sometimes make it less attractive to a new employer because you appear institutionalised.

You are in no rush. Start to update your CV, do a bit of market research on job vacancies and salary ranges, speak to a few recruitment agents. Do some interviewing, if only for the practice for when your dream job appears. Making concrete plans to leave can allow you to detach from your job as you start to see it as only a matter of time before you leave. Hopefully that will also lessen the control freakery tendencies as you will no longer 'own' it for much longer.

I 'care' a lot about what I do but once I have made the decision to leave, it is easier to smile and 'let it go' when a colleague gives you grief. Not long now.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page