Has anyone taken a Leave of Absence to look after their children ?

[Mojomummy]

I am coming to the end of my year off & don't want to go back to work for another year.

I've spoken to my manager this morning who told me he was expecting me to resign. I said I would like to take a year of absence.

Am assuming I'm going to have to make an offical request & I'm interested to know reasons given.

I told him I want to take the time off to care for my daughter & he doesn't think this is a good enough or 'eligible' reason - travelling the world would be of course.

DOn't want to jeopardise my chances, so any advice appreciated.

morning

Fill in a flexible working thing. On your info it says office-based because that's the current status of the role - doesn't mean it can't be changed. Particularly if you don't want to work completely from home - it sounds like what you want is more than workable.

Fill in the flexible working thing, emphasising how a more flexible approach will be a positive thing for the business. Don't focus on how good it will be for you, anticipate potential problems and say how you will not only solve them but be able to do the job better.

Look at this guide to flexible working from the equal opps website, it contains info on what the benefits are for the business, gives you something to focus your application around, give it a bash let me know if you need any help.

Hi there, had a read of the link - thanks.

Am seriously considering resigning this week. I've spent the whole weekend being as miserable & unbearable as can be. My whole body is overtaken with the stress of it all & we're all suffering which is a shame.

I've asked who my hr partner is so I can ask about a voluntary separation package. See what that brings.

I've read through my previous review which was signed off without my agreement & basically they don't trust me.

The office based aspect of my role means tha I am not contracted to work at home - ie they don't have to provide desk/chair/travel to other locations. The need to work in the office is to keep their eye on me (via a spy camera?) but it's just makes everything harder & the day longer. I think that if you don't have that fundamental trust, nothing is going to work. On my review was mentioned something along the lines of generally my work was accurate & on time - this is incorrect - it was always on time & always accurate. Of course this is on my record forever now. There was mention of me not being able to hold the meetings - again incorrect & the old team leader actually stopped me from doing the calls & got someone else to do them instead for NO reason.

Just wanted to get that off my chest cos I feel like I am going to implode ! Home day today & I am completely consumned by work...

Hi mojo, sorry to hear you are getting stressed about it all.
Understand you may want to resign to end all the stress and that may well be the best thing for you and your family.
Just a couple of things, your organisation should have a mechanism to appeal performance reviews, particularly as it is a big company, so ask your HR contact about that.
Similarly the policy will be that you have to sign off reviews. At the very least, you can insist on adding your own comments to the review, stating something like you disagree with a, b, c because x, y z.
And the stuff about you not being able to work from home is just policy stuff and can easily be challenged by putting in a flexible working application. Policy might be that the role is based in the office and there is no provision for providing equipment for working elsewhere etc, but that's not relevant to a flexible working application. They would have to provide decent business reasons why changing this policy is not possible, and I think you would have a decent chance of getting this through, particularly as you only want to work from home part of the time. Your legal right to request flexible working and their legal obligation to consider it and come up with good business reasons why it is not possible override their current policy.

Having said that, all this is very stressful and time consuming and you may decide to call it a day, which is definitely not 'giving up', or 'letting them win', it would be taking the best decision for you and your family, if that's what you choose to do.
By all means ask your HR person about leaving, but I would be surprised if they are willing to come up with a 'package'. If it is clear you want to leave, they are just as likely to say you should resign, and why should you be entitled to a 'package' when anyone else who is fed up and wants to leave has to just resign. Might be worth asking, but I would be surprised tbh.

Do have a rant whenever you want, letting off steam might relieve a bit of the stress which has got to be a good thing.

Oh Mojo, how do these people sleep at night?!?!!! They are so playing games aren't they, I'm so on your behalf!!! Only just had a chance to read this as got back yesterday and was busy. When are you back at work? Are you in today? I hope you're ok mate, you don't need all the stress. I am annoyed for you though as I reckon this is their plan, stress you out enough so you resign.

Let me know if you want to get together, I've got no kiddies to look after until Thursday!

LT xx

Ahh, well trying hard not to get stressed

I am desperately clutching at straws here, but is this right ?

You requested approval to work from home and I explained that this was an office-based role, however, on occasions when you need to work from home for reasons other than caring for your children then that is okay with prior agreement from myself.

Now having just read the company's policy on flexible working, this, surely, is wrong ?

Mojo, you know I don't know about these things but I'll give you my thoughts.......sounds a bit discriminating to me, like they think you are wanting to work from home in order to care for your children which of course I KNOW is not the case!! Can you get more advice from ACAS or are they no good with this side of things? If you can manage to stay a bit longer to try and get them on something, I would HOWEVER I also agree that the stress is not good so if it does stress you out, you may be better off just leaving.

What a nightmare!!

mojo that sounds like they don't want to make it a formal arrangement but you can work from home on an adhoc basis with prior agreement from your manager.
Obviously as I mentioned, you must not be caring for your children on these occasions, which is what they are saying.
Is an informal arrangement like this good enough for you or do you want to pursue it to get a more formal arrangement in place?
Worth making sure they do know you wouldn't be caring for your children when working from home, sounds like they have been bitten before by people who do do this.

When you say this is 'not right', what exactly do you mean? If you mean legally, if they have given reasonable justification why the role can't have some time working from home on a regular formal basis, there's nothing wrong with what they are saying. Have they done this?
If the only reason for their refusal for your more formal request is that it is 'an office-based role', this is not good enough, particularly as if it is fine to work on a prior arrangement basis from home occasionally, it's obviously not impossible to do this role from home some of the time.

Or do you mean it doesn't fit with the company's own flexible working policy?

Hi, I haven't been given any reason other than the one I've posted here. From reading the link you sent me, it appears that flexible working has been introduced to help parents (etc) with young children up to the age of 6.

I work 3 days a week & would like to work 2 days at home. My DH sometimes works at home, so if/when he is at home, I could come into the office.

Unless something is formalized, I will have to request permission each week.

The reason (I believe) the manager has said this is because she wants to keep her eue on me. My previous manager has said I was not up to scratch - something that went on my review & I am waiting for HR to come back to me on.

Bearing in mind my manager works at home - from Scotland & the rest of my team are scattered around the country. So I could be in a cardboard box as far as anyone knows

Working at home would just be so much easier !

hiya

You are right about the reasons for flexible working. The reasons they have given you for refusing your request so far aren't good enough I would say.
2 out of 3 days as a regular thing may be a bit much, so you might have to compromise on 1, but to refuse your request they certainly have to come up with a better, more specific business reason why it is not possible to accommodate you.

I would appeal the decision, which you are entitled to do, giving information about how you would efficiently do your job spending 2 days at home, why there will be no detrimental effect to your work, or to any of the team you work with or the organisation as a whole. And give specific information about who will be responsible for childcare on the days you are requesting to work from home, as this does seem to be a concern.

Hello, the option of home working is 80% of the time, which I am approximating at 2 days.

I'm seeing my new manager tomorrow, face to face, so will listen to the job & then talk about trust etc.

No doubt I'll be on here tomorrow afternoon

A work friend keeps telling me to get on with it, but, without sounding petulant, I don't see why I should. They make much about diversity, women in business, how great they are & it's all nonsense. My manager couldn't even be bothered to sign the forms for me to be paid this month.

Have you ever seen Office Space ? if you have I feel like the chubby man with the thick glasses & I don't want to be a victim !!

hi mojo

Be ultra responsible, calm and mature when meeting new manager. Impress him/her with your dedication, commitment and resourcefulness. Emphasise the childcare you will have in place, otherwise don't mention your children.
Volunteer that of course you would expect situation to be reviewed on an ongoing basis and you would be very keen to address any problems which may arise.

Try and raise all those things yourself in the meeting, take the initiative rather than reacting to her objections.

let us know how it goes! Haven't seen office space I'm afraid, but don't be a victim, bring solutions rather than problems always a good rule!

Hope its going/went well, do let us know

Morning !

Well, chanting be ultra responsible & calm etc for 45 mins unfortunately did me no good!

Started off ok, talking about the new job, the new 2nd line manager came in, I got my 10 year pen.

Then I said...I need to talk to you about somethings...& promptly burst into tears & spent about 10mins just sobbing.

What I haven't explained before was that in my opinion I wasn't being treated very well with work - with a task manager & my actual manager (just realised he wasn't very goo d at commumicating)

So it's all out in the open, I discussed my concern at the not being able to work at home, the potential black mark, comments in my review, not being treated fairly & the suggestion is we take it further, so I can get over it & get on with with work.

Does this make sense ? gone a bit of a circle with it really. I went to the dr on Wed & she has prescribed me AD's to help with anxiety - I think dealing with everything will help though..& I still think my leave of absence wasn't properly considered.

oh mojo Difficult to hold it all together isn't it, when someone asks you how you are or anything?!

Sounds positive though, getting it all out in the open will have helped you I'm sure, and if your manager is encouraging you to take it further so you can sort it out and get on with doing your job well that's definitely good.

So how are you dealing with it exactly? Each issue individually? And is your manager being helpful at getting it all sorted.

If you think your leave of absence request wasn't properly considered it might be worth appealing that, and/or your parental leave request. If your manager has listened to all your concerns you should be able to get a feel for what's the best thing to do and what will get your furthest.
Do keep us updated.

It's good to have a good cry though - of course would prefer not to have, but at lease she could see how upset I was/am.

yes, will be contacting 2nd line manager & I guess having a chat about things. Nothing may come of it other than it's all out in the open. He is away for 2 weeks now though, so am hoping not to stew on it.

New manager has explained the need for the role - which is fair enough. I will broad the subject of the leave of absence though, because at the time, I had declined that role.

Working at home has been resolved now, which is good - now I have to super perform.

Still might end up resigning - but at least if this does happen it won't be under baggage.

Will keep you up to date - thanks again for your invaluable advice

Hi, just to update you..

I was in work last week & got upset (again) about the treatment I had received before I went on maternity from a task manager & then my manager whilst I was on maternity leave.

I spoke someone high up in HR & was advised to go home & take a couple of weeks off work, maybe even a month & go back to the drs.

I've probably left big gaps, but all the stress of previous treatments has resulted in me be advised to take anti-depressants.

Ultimately I don't know how long this will go on & the outcome will be.....

{{{{ hugs }}}}

Now I know ds hasn't got chicken pox, let me know if you want to get together!

I haven't read the entire thread, but I should imagine you have had plenty of advice. Just to say that I am currently in the middle of a career break. It was my intention to return to work at the end of my maternity leave, but due to unforseen cicumstances, ie, ds2 was very ill, I went off sick at first then took my unpaid mat leave before deciding to take a career break of a minimum of 3 years. It would have actually worked out quite well, I am currently a carer for ds2, although don't get carers allowance. His DLA is due to expire next August and I was due back at work October 2008. However, since then, I have started homeschooling my kids and just a few weeks ago I bumped into my line manager in a shop and she informed me that the whole of my office is likely to be out of a job in Dec 2008 (although they reckon they can re-locate us all )and that I should take redundancy if it is offered . I really am not too bothered about my job, I do not enjoy it, especially as I never got to do the job I was trained to do in the whole time I was there. I love being a SAHM but am currently thinking of a little part time job or working from home for a little extra income, not that I know where I stand legally!)

I hope that you have managed to resolve this by now and are enjoying your additional year with your LO.