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I'm perceived to be low status at work and I need your tips on how to turn it around.

4 replies

SelkieRinnNaMara · 25/03/2019 21:17

I feel I'm perceived to be very low status at work and I need your tips on how to turn it around. I realise I've made bad first impressions and said ''sorry for taking up your time'' and not ''I appreciate you giving me your time''. I nodded too much when I was listening. I was too accommodating, smiled too much, didn't call people out if they overlooked me or excluded me or undermined me.

It's obviously too late to make a first impression but any ideas on how to turn things around?

I've stopped saying sorry unless I am sorry. Instead I say ''i'll amend that now'' or whatever.
Stopped nodding like a nodding dog when somebody is telling me what to do next.

I've had a lot of experiences at work where people at my level have talked down to me like they were my boss. It made me think about how I was coming across. My actual line manager put me forward for more responsibility in a new role and she had faith in me but a few people actually laughed when this was made public. Even though it's going ok so far. I'm still learning of course but I'm focused on learning and giving it everything ykwim.

OP posts:
topcat2014 · 25/03/2019 22:11

Do not use the word 'sorry', unless, (for example) you open the door into someone or something.

My staff (all female, as it happens) seem to say this all the time.

If you say it, people will assume you are in the wrong.

I guarantee you that even the most meek male in the office will not say sorry as many times as the average female - blame socialisation.

Do not give yourself imposter syndrome either.

If you are given competing tasks, ask your line manager to define priorities if you need to.

Di11y · 25/03/2019 22:24

perhaps work on body language- be mindful of your posture.

I'm in a similar situation to you, find it hard if someone gives off a vibe of always being busy (whether they are or not) not to bow and scrape if they deign to squeeze in 30 mins to talk to me about their project

SelkieRinnNaMara · 25/03/2019 22:29

Yes, when I nearly bump in to somebody I try to say excuse me not 'sorry'. Argh. It is socialisation.

OP posts:
stressedoutpa · 25/03/2019 22:57

A new young woman started in our team a short while ago. She has experience and appears to be quite competent, however, it is clear that she lacks confidence as she verbalises it all the time. I really like her and support her as much as I can but it made me realise that I can be a bit like that when outside my comfort zone (changed career direction last year).

Can you try and fake it until you make it?

Agree with the plan to stop saying sorry!

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